Whistlestop tour of Australia/New Zealand

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Since our last entry in mid-March, we have been in Singapore, Cairns, Melbourne and New Zealand's south island.

Singapore is a complete waste of time if you are backpacking. Whatever sights it does have i.e. Sir Stamford Raffles landing sight and the Parliament building is overshadowed by the fact that they are total pish and there is hee haw else to do apart from shop, buy a beer for four frigging pounds or make a dodgy deal on the local stock market.
Oh aye, penalties are pretty severe here. Fart in public and you could be spending the night behind bars. To sum up, DO NOT VISIT SINGAPORE!
P.S. After being urged by anyone and everyone to go to Raffles Hotel "just for the Singapore Sling and to say you've done it," we decided to be the original one's and not do it. Pay twenty quid to have a crap drink next to a bunch of Cecil's? Do me a favour.

But Australia. Ah Australia! We arrived in Cairns via Darwin on Jetstar Airways read complete effin Charlatans. Would you like to have something to eat Sir? Yes please, i say. Okay, that will be ten dollars, Sir. Would you like some in-flight entertainment Sir? Yes, seeing as this flight is eight hours long, please. Okay, that's fifteen dollars, Sir.
Customs was interesting. Some official who spoke, gesticulated and was indedd dressed like Steve Irwin informed us that our omitting of chopsticks from the immigration entry form was in danger of landing us a $220 on-the-spot fine... all said in a manner as if he were approaching a crocodile in the bush!

Once clear of that nutjob, we made our way to the NJoy Hostel, our base for three nights. Now, Cairns is not really home to stunning architecture but walk to the shore along the promenade and it is outstanding. I envied the schoolchildren who finished class and went for a swim in the purpose built lagoon overlooking the sea. For me it was a case of walking through or past gang fights.
Next day, we were at the marina for 7.30am to board a yacht out to the Great Barrier Reef. This was one of the best days of the trip to date. Once anchored in position, we donned our flippersnsnorkels and jumped in to take in life below. Ailie was wise and wore a life jacket but i, on the otherhand, decided pah, i can go without. Within seconds of jumping in i regretted my error. I could not focus on what was happening below but for fighting rapidly aching, tired muscles in my arms and legs. My snorkel fell loose and, as a result, drank a gallon of seawater!

After Cairns it was a Qantas flight to Melbourne. Not the best when it comes planes, i was not chuffed to have a pilot who thought it funny to take off as if we were fired from a cannon and to land as if skydiving. I could live in Melbourne. It is similar in many ways to Glasgow. Perhaps lives in the shadow of more popular cities Edinburgh and Sydney because of obvious attractions but when it comes to the real nitty-gritty such as the people and character, both Melbourne and Glasgow win hands down. Went to the MCG stadium which is the Australian Wembley/Hampden. It is impressive. We took in an Aussie Rules game between Hawthorn and Melbourne. 154-50 it finished to Hawthorn. Hardly a tight game but it was good fun nontheless. No segregation and plentiful beer. How long before that happens in Scotland?

I was disappointed to leave Melbourne but since we hired a car to whizz about New Zealand's south island it wasnt so bad. The scenery in New Zealand is awesome. It is just a pity that after the adrenaline rush of driving some of the best roads in the world against such a backdrop the country is a rather boring place to live. The highlights were driving up and down the steepest street in the world in Dunedin, the peacefulness of Te Anau, the small French town of Akaroa but most of all, Milford Sound, which was incredible. Sad to see our beloved rental car go but Santiago and South America lies in wait!!

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Comments

[Stuart]

Stop moaning!
As the title says Ryan, stop moaning! Things could be worse, you could be working all week long hours, the weather could be wet and windy and you could have to suffer the taunts of Rangers supporters! I'm sure you're enjoying it more than you are letting on which is kind of you! Enjoying reading the updates and I promise never to visit Singapore!

[Neil]

Banter
Yo Mr T, how are you? followed the link from your bebo to this. had a good laugh reading it, you'll need to write a book when you get back. good luck in santiago! did you know i was there twice last year? i designed the estadio olymipico