Back On The Road Again

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Good afternoon all. So, Tony Blair is on his way after ten years in charge, there's a new President of France, Man United have won the Premiership and Yorkshire are top of the county championship. But more importantly than all that - what have I been up to recently on my travels around New Zealand? Let's find out.

Firstly, a little more about Nick, my old drinking and rugby watching pal from England who has joined me for a few weeks down here. He wanted to see New Zealand before starting his new job as a scientist back home in London. Worrying things have happened to Nick since I last saw him back home. He's started drinking Diet Coke, he now eats sandwiches on focaccia bread and he's been enquiring where the after-shave balm is in supermarkets. On one night out in Auckland, he even suggested a round of cocktails so we didn't get too bloated from all the lager. There was only one solution for this troubling development. Let's get back on the road.

We travelled south through the small mining town of Huntly, interesting to me only as the birthplace of one of my rugby league heroes, Tawera Nikau. We then spent a quiet night in Hamilton. A pleasant enough town but there are more exciting things to see on the North Island so we moved on quickly. We travelled further south through the Waikato Valley. The scenery was transformed from the urban sprawl of Auckland into bright green rolling hills. No spectacular mountains yet but all very pleasant in the late summer sun. Lord of the Rings fans may know that the Waikato Valley was the setting for The Shire in the recent films.

Our destination was Waitomo Village and, more particularly, the famous Waitomo Caves. Normally, Nick is a world champion sitter like me. But as he was on holiday, he wanted to try his hand at a few adventure activites. I was happy to tag along. We found we were the only two people who had signed up for an afternoon of caving. That meant donning amusing wetsuits, which came complete with sparkling white wellies. We left the countryside barn where we had changed and started to cross a couple of farmer's fields. With our caving helmets safely strapped on, we resembled a cross between a low budget Power Ranger (very low budget) and an unemployed speed skater who had got his Winter Olympic dates all wrong. It didn't look good. I was beginning to wonder whether the guide was taking us to a field where the locals were all waiting to laugh and point at how ridiculous we looked before pelting us with eggs.

Within a few minutes, we were flicking our helmet lights on and lowering ourselves into a pitch black cavern of fast-running freezing cold water. Thankfully, the guide followed us in. As you might have guessed, I had never been caving before. We were treated to some spectacular sights. We had to swim some parts of the trip. There were also several areas where the nooks and crannies we had to squeeze through were rather small. And yes, Kris - there were points where my swimmer's shoulders only just made it! The highlight was half way through the cave when the guide instructed us to switch our lights off. Sounded a crazy idea but we complied. Suddenly, the cavern ceiling was illuminated by hundreds of glowing lights. The Waitomo gloworms did not let us down. We ventured into inner tubes and floated down a section of underwater stream - a sport known as blackwater rafting - another first for me. There were stalacmites and stalactites everywhere. I was expecting Gollum to peep around the corner at any minute and try and steal our rings. Luckily, we weren't wearing any. It was a world class trip and a great way to start our tour of NZ.

Next stop was Rotorua, known as the geothermal capital of the world. Basically, the earth's crust there is so thin that the heat generated in the centre of the earth creates lots of heat meaning that there are many small pools of water that bubble and boil all day long. There's probably a more accurate geological explanation I could give but I've never been one for science. We explored the well kept Government Gardens, had a fascinating time in the local museum where we learned (and subsequently forgot) all about the geology of the area. We also sampled some of the thermal waters for ourselves. The Blue Baths in Rotorua are some of the oldest in the country, although they were closed for many years before a restoration and reopening a few years ago. As it was a weekday morning, we had the place to ourselves as we swam around. The place was two-thirds the size of a 25 metre pool but was outdoors and the temperature of a very hot bath. The icing on the cake was the Cole Porter and Ella Fitzgerald music that was pumped out to help us relax as we sorted out some of the world's problems between us.

Before we left Rotorua, there was one activity that Nick desperately wanted to do on this trip. White water rafting. There were several options for this in and around Rotorua. We looked around for a gentle, introductory sort of trip. We were informed that the gentle course was not running because a couple of trees had been blown down and blocked the route. Pesky trees. That meant there was only one option. A grade 5 course (that's the hardest commercially available course) down the Kaituna Rapids. We read the brochure after we had signed up. The literature described the route, including the drop down a 20 foot waterfall near the end. 20 feet. That's the highest waterfall that you can commercially raft down IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. And I had never been rafting before. Eek.

Once again, the comedy wetsuits were donned and we were deposited in a minibus full of other travellers to the river. It can't be that bad because we saw an elderly lady in a velour tracksuit enter the bus with her son. They quickly disembarked when they relaised it wasn't the bus to the thermal pools. The guide made us shout out our names, countries and ages. Me and Nick quickly realised we were the oldest peolpe there. I felt particularly old when one of the guides told us he was only 19. I mean, come on. 19 - and he's expected to drag me out of some rapids when the inevitable happens and I fall in. After the briefest of "safety" lectures, the group of 20 of us huddled together and the guides led a Maori prayer for all those who had lost their lives on the water. I was about to ask for a little more information about these "lost people" when we were hastily split into groups and hurled into the river by the guides. Me and Nick were pleased to discover that our raft-mates were Danish. Good, I thought to myself. They will have the blood of their Viking longboat ancestors and will be able to row us to safety if necessary.

Before too long we were piling down the rapids, nearly falling off the raft on several occasions. Just watch what the others are doing, I thought. Laughing and shouting in Danish seemed to be the order of the day. So I joined in. Then I could hear the water rushing not too far away. We were approaching the 20 foot waterfall. The guide gave us some last minute instructions about what to do if the raft overturned. He then told us that several rafts a day overturn on this waterfall. There was no turning back down. We were setting off for the top of the waterfall................

...............oh no, it seems my internet time has run out for the day. What a cliffhanger. Tune in next time to see if we make it to the bottom of the waterfall in one piece and find out how me and Nick turn into Jeeves and Wooster for a few days.

See you later

Joff

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Comments

[Matty H]

ooooooohhhh
can't wait for the next episode..... it's all very "daredevils of the red circle"

[Dad Harvey]

Waitomo
You must have taken a wrong turning in Waitomo. There's a nice boat where you can sit and watch the glow-worms, you don't have to go scrambling around in a wet suit. I'm not convinced about the glow worms anyway, we saw the bloke changing those tiny bulbs in the ceiling.