Have You Done This Before?

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Searching through our New Zealand travel guide, I was put in charge of our daily agenda. Underlining those activities that sounded interesting, I ran across Action New Zealand. “Action New Zealand has a wacky array of activities, mostly aimed at the corporate team-building market who would like to do physical harm to each other but instead try axe-and-knife throwing, archery, bull whip-cracking, pistol-shooting and electronic clay-target shooting, shooting a red laser at a disc. Less violent types can try the mechanical bull.”

A mechanical bull, no way! I’ve been wanting to get my hands on one ever since the night of my bachelorette party. “Gene, they have a mechanical bull! I have to ride the mechanical bull. There’s one in Rotorua!”

“Gina, we are in New Zealand.”

“No shit Sherlock. How many people get to ride a mechanical bull in New Zealand? It’s only $10.00. C’mon.”

So there we were, pulling into the parking lot with the place so dead, the employee was washing his car.

Feeling like a nuisance, “Uh, can I ride the mechanical bull? Or is it only for group functions?”

“No, if you want to ride the mechanical bull, you can ride the mechanical bull.”

Inside we went. There wasn’t a single other car in the parking lot. Gene laughed at me, asking me what I had expected. Of course I expected there to be people lined up to ride the mechanical bull! Who wouldn’t?

On the other hand, I never expected the mechanical bull to be located in a barn-like building with at least 20 empty picnic benches, shop closed.

“You’ll have to give me a minute. It has been a while since I’ve operated this thing.”

“No worries.”

A second male employee joined us to observe. There we were - Gene, myself, the bull operator and another male employee there to have a good laugh. I felt like an ass. This was surely a different experience from the one on the night of my bachelorette party with a bar full of drunks screaming and cheering me on as I rode like a champ dressed in veil and cowgirl hat.

“Okay, hop up on the bull. Are you right handed or left?”

“For this activity, I think right.”

“Okay. Then put the glove on your right hand. You’ll want to hold the rope with that hand and use your left arm for balance. Here’s your cowboy hat. When the bull tilts forward, you’ll want to lean back. When the bull tilts backward, you’ll want to lean forward.”

Dear lord. I must look like some stupid city girl from America who wants to ride a mechanical bull because they must not have them where I come from. They are playing music?!? Oh no! I feel like I’m about to participate in some cheesy porn flick!

ROUND ONE: This isn’t that hard. It seemed much more difficult in Chicago…maybe that was because I was drunk. The bull came to a slow stop.

“Have you done this before???”

“Just once back in Chicago the night of my bachelorette party. I couldn’t walk for three days thereafter.”

Laugh. “Do you want me to increase the speed?”

“Go for it!”

ROUND TWO: A new song. Okay, this is a bit more challenging. God, I love this!!! Wow, my muscles are getting a bit tight. This is GREAT exercise! I need one of these in the house!

The bull once again came to a slow stop.

“You’re pretty good at this. Get ready to hold on. I’m going to up it a notch!”

ROUND THREE: Yet again, new song. Whoaaaaa! Weeeeee-hawwww! Up, down, spinning in a circle. One last kick! Holy shit! I could hang on a bit longer, but if I do, I won’t be able to walk for the next three weeks!!!! I surrender.

“You can go again if you want!!”

Glad to know you found me entertaining. “No thanks!”

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Comments

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Where's the video?
With sound? :o) Miss you guys!