Meet the Parents!!!

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So it has been a while since we have got in contact with you guys, I know that you have been concerned but we have been having such a riot in South America that we clean forgot that we should keep you informed. But after a bout of Ovenstone nagging, we all know that this treatment could bring down multi national organisations, I have come to my senses and we are trying to catch up.

As the following blog is going to describe the time when my parents were visiting, I must state for the record that whatever comments are made are purely in jest and not meant seriously. I know that there are sensitive ears out there.

So back to blogworld, Jen and Frank had always planned to come out and visit Em and I at one of the stops around the world. Prior to us leaving they agreed that New Zealand would be the best spot as it would not be too hot for Jen, Em suggested that Antarctica was nice at this time of year (Stop it). We had prepared completely for their arrival and we knew from our regular Frank updates that they had done some preparation for the upcoming nights. When we agreed to them coming we thought that it would be for a couple of weeks, but a month was the reply, perhaps we could tell them that we had changed our itinerary and we went to Iraq.

Parking the van at the airport was no worries but a sense that we were back in school, standing outside the headmasters office came over us once we had entered the terminal building. We were armed with the Welsh flag and waved it energetically as soon as we thought Jen and Frank were coming out of the departure gates. Unfortunately we had timed it slightly early and we had just welcomed Mr and Mrs Wong off the flight from Kuala Lumpur, they did look at us awfully peculiar. It was not long until the grey panther and Franky boy came through and after a barrage of hugs, kisses and hugs again we were back in the van heading to Devonport.

Now, Devonport was to be the first of the accomodation spaces that J & F would settle into and there was good reason. The place was fantastic, it had a great view over the Auckland skyline, with the sky tower taken your main focus. There was actually a telescope in the apartment, Jen used it to have a look at Auckalnd and Frank used it to scour at a pretty blond in No 42 (Behave!!).

Over the next couple of days we spent some time sightseeing in Auckalnd in the day and then having dinners out in the evening. It was great as the apartment was working out well and F & J sleeping pattern was not too bad.

After four days we decided that we had done Auckland and perhaps moving on to another part of the island would be cool. Well this is not actually true, Em and I decided that we should move North and we had to prise Jens fingers away from the door of the Devonport apartment. As Em and I had been quite familiar we making decisions on our next place to put our heads we were amazed when it came to my parents making their accomodation decision. Let me put it this way, J&F took seven years to decide apon a house in Dinas Powys, they have been talking about changing the bathroom since we moved in and it is only now that things have started, that is twenty four years ago. It was proving to be slightly difficult choosing our next place but we ended up with a place called Pahia which is in the Bay of Islands.

Our journey up to Pahia only took about four hours but with the van that we hired only really accomodating two in the front, having an extra two more in the back proved quite awkward, well for Jen and Frank anyway. Personally I thought that it was working out quite well, it meant that as we were driving I could not hear their constant drivel from the front, it was as if they were acting out scene from a Charlie Chaplin movie, just without the bowler hat and cane.

We arrived in Pahia and dropped the folks off at their accomodation, it seemed cool from the front but as we would experience there is a complex marking system that J&F use for their accomodation ratings. I think that the Hilton PLC have less stringent standards.

The Bay of Islands is a wonderful place with fantastic scenery, nature and mix of cultures. We visited as a group, the place where the treaty between the Maoris and white guys was signed. We also went to Russel, which is a hidden peninsula, had a walk around and started what would be the mammouth competition of "How mant Lattes can you drink in one trip?". I think that as people get older they rely less on oxygen to provide their muscles with energy and just replace it with hot milk and a cream cakes.

All members of the party were getting into the swing of things, Em and I had relised that we would have to move at the pace of recovering heart attack patients and J&F had cottoned on to the fact that they would have to do impressions of "Speedy Gonzales" for us to meet somewhere in the middle. Seriously ask Jen to say "Areeeba, Areeeba", she has got it down to a tee.

Moving away from Pahia was no real stuggle except for the fact that we had to stop over in Auckland for a night before heading down towards Hamilton. The journey would be too much for the old bones to cope with so we booked a hotel in Parnell for them. It proved to be one of the most affluent suburbs of Auckland, so I came up with the idea of Frank taking us out for dinner. Now I am sure that all of you guys know that Frank is, how could you put this, tight with his money. You are more likey to get a smile from Dunc after you have informed him that the governent are banning all you can buffets. As children we learnt that if you asked him for money the answer would immediately be no, even if it was for legitimate reasons, like getting bail from a Turkish prision. So we also devised a new strategy for increased funds, never ask Frank, always use Jen as your interpreter, it was a no brainer. So after taking Frank to the cleaners at an Indian restaurant it was back to Z land for the next day of activity.

We made our way down to Hamilton, stopping off at the Botanical gardens for the afternoon. Now in life you have to make sacrifices, you do have to give your loved one the last rolo, always hold the door open for people and never consider it funny to fart under the covers and not inform the person entering. However both Em and I walked around the gardens in Hamilton and we were relishing in the joy that my mother was going through, she actually claimed that the last time she had felt that content was when Frank got the snip. It was a great afternoon with the big yellow guy in the sky also doing his thing.

We arrived in Rotorua in the early evening with the smell of sulphur in our nostrils and the hope of satisfactory accomodation baying on our minds. Now if one place was too hot, then the other one was too cold or big or small or damp or too remote. Well you get the idea, unfortunately they had stayed in the best place first. Roturua is a cool place though, it is the main area in NZ where they have geisers and natural springs. We visite them over the next few days, watching the Prince of Wales and co bubble away. We had a traditional show to watch which was cool and allowed a bit of Maori culture into the trip. I think in Roturua we actually hit the 200 Caffe Latte mark also, so a milestone was achieved. We had great fun in the evenings with Em and I cooking for the crepids, serving them three courses and wine. They actually cooked for us once but after they nearly divorced over the best way to cook a frozen lasagne we thought it best to take over the duty for the remainder of the trip. As we planned to travel further south to Lake Taupo we challanged J&F to find the next place to stay without any help, so leaving them in the I-site (Toursist Infomation) sat at the computer on the internet we crept away. After the pace declining naturally with the old folk around we thought that we would pick up the pace slighty and go white water rafting.

Now as with most adreneline activities there is a rating and for rafting it goes upto 7 with 1 being the most sedate. We chose a level 5, which is the hardest for a non-experienced rafter. The river was called the Kaituna and with the constant downpurs that the region was experiencing it would be running quickly. The main reason for the high diffculty rating was that there was a 21ft waterfall that you had to go down. After arriving at the rafting center it quicky dawned on us that the instructors taking us down the river were taking time off from play school and that their main focus of the afternoon was to have as much of laugh as possible. They were just what you wanted, lots of jokes and not much training. After 5 mins of instruction we were kitted out with a terrible onsomble of waterproof clothing. I made the mistake of asking what was in the first aid kit and the reply was that is was note to my mother stating that I need to "Harden the F**k up". You now understand clearly the type of company we were with. The experience was just as fun, we adopted another couple of worthy team mates and the five of us safely directed ourselves through a series of rapids until we reached the pinacle of the adventure. We had asked prior to departing if they flip the boat often, our guide enthusiactically claimed that he is on a role at the moment and has flipped it every trip for the past five days. Great!! It is hard to explain what the feeling was like dropping off the waterfall but as it is the highest commercial waterfall that you can raft in the world, it may give you an idea. Did we flip, of course we did. It was all cool, with a number of rescue kayaks in the water it made it all very safe.

With the adreneline pumping it was back to town to pick up the folks and confirm their success in booking some new digs. We moved to Lake Taupo in the morning and we were greated by a fantastic place when we arrived. The ancient ones were content with a great place and it had superb views over the whole of the lake. You can get blazay to the beauty all over the place but seriously, New Zealand is stunning and all around the lake was another example. We milled around the lake over the next few days, drinking Lattes (upto 316 as a total), taking some cool photos and eating Chinese food in the flat. Looking to reclaim enough adreneline to stand up straight I thought that I would complete a lifetime ambition and jump out of am aeroplane with a long haired Kiwi man attached to me so tightly that I could feel his winkie. Seriously skydiving is an amazing experince, I think that all people should be made to do it. My preparation for the jump lasted about 25 mins from paying for it to entering the plane with my jump legend called Benny. I wont try to describe the feeling, as my grasp of the English laguage would not do it justice, but just take the best feeling you have ever had and multiply it by a figure that Stephen Hawkins cant even describe. As you can appreciate J&F did not want to watch so I explained in full detail with the aid of a DVD later on in the flat.

We moved on after a few days, having a really nice time and headed for Napier. Napier is only second to Miami in having an art deco influence on the town, Liane would have been in her element. J&F were safely in a lovely hotel, so we chose to have the evening dining and the next day walking around town looking at all of the building and drinking more caffe lattes. Napier is a bit of a town that is obsessed by its looks, a little like the kind of people that mascarade in the celebrity magazines. But it would also be the place where we would break ranks and see J&F go alone down to the South Island for a few days. It would provide welcome rest for both parties, Em and I would have a detox from the lattes and J&F could go back to pedestrian pace, the kind of speed that they are more accustomed too.

So with brief drive by past the airport we dropped off their luggage and waived goodbye for a few days, with us due to travel further North upto Gisbourne and the crepids (short for decrepid) off on down to Christchurch. Few!!!!!

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