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Published: September 15th 2010
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Vineyard
Pemberton Vineyard Back in a hostel, again! I suppose it's where all great adventures begin and end in the red land down under. This time I've bunked up at an old military barracks turned mad house, complete with Irish loons and cheap drink specials that would put you in an early grave. When I arrived in this city five months ago I was supposed to put my head down, save as much as possible, get fit and physically and mentally sober up from a cracking summer in Melbourne. I was so naive.
Employment complications, lack of money and a general loathing of a coming miserable autumn found me on the quickest budget flight out of my love Melbourne and into the isolated outcast city that is Perth. Regarded as one of the most isolated metropolitan areas on earth, Perth is over 2000km from Adelaide and is closer to Jakarta, Indonesia that it is to Sydney! Ridiculous facts aside, when you land is this metropolis of construction and industry with a weary head and burnt out pockets, you aren't too impressed. The city is home to either working backpackers, the type who earn a mint and blow it all at the bar or
travellers who bypass this travel hub on their way to the beach ridden coast up north or the towering forests and vineyards down south.
After months of messy sharehouses and unscrupulous debauchery I took solace in the welcoming home of my cousin Brian. On a backpacker visa three years earlier he was scooped up by the booming economy and subsequently received sponsorship. A soon to be Australian resident he fits right in to the city's hussle and flow. I flew to the west coast on fumes. With only a few weeks of noodles left in my bank account I was desperate to find work. I hit the streets armed to the tooth with a bagful of resumes citing experience so fake, Maggie Thatchers smile would be jealous. As luck would have it, my bogus resumes did the trick and I landed two separate jobs in the same week.
My first job found me behind a butcher style meat counter at an Australian steakhouse. The uniform and style of table service was indeed as cheesy as the restaurants name; Outback Jacks. As the winter approached, few hours and laid back shifts made working at the restaurant a breeze. Staffed
entirely of inexperienced backpackers and students it became easy to make great friends in this comical greasy spoon. In between days of
trying to get fit in my local park I worked evenings touting steaks and seafood to ripped off customers. Mondays were consumed by hospitality nights with the Brazilian born, Irish wannabe, Giorgio 'Clooney' Motta. Born pikie, prince of the favelas and lord of the game, no night went stale with this legend in tow.
At my second job I worked as a bar tender in an English themed bar in the centre of Perths grubby Nortbridge district. Working at this establishment proved to be the best and last job I secured in Oz. Within weeks of being hired I fit right in with the sociable friendly staff composed of backpackers and residents alike. The bar itself never had a dull moment. During the week gangs of Irish 'tradies' came in for their nightly tipple,
"2 jacks n' coke" usually the order of the day. It was a miracle I was even hired, as I later found out the bar had a strict 'no-irish' hiring policy due to some "complications" with drunken paddies in the past. Australia, but
Perth especially, has very strict laws on intoxication in bars. If a customer is drunk on the premises the bar can be heavily fined. A ridiculous rule many of the Irish believe, after all we do adopt the
'If you can stand you can drink' policy. If rowdy Irish getting cut off during the week didn't provide enough drama, the weekend brought out the real entertainment.
There is a rumour that a local rag runs a classified add inviting the swinging population of Perth to our bar every Saturday night. The ring leader, a bulky biker type sporting a scraggly un kept pirate beard and 1980's van halen-esqe mullet, commands an army of lewdly feral local 'talent'. If 'mullet man' and 'tiger-face' weren't your cup of tea, the penguin was often a source of entertainment as she sourced young drunken fools for their dollars. The weekend brought the usual cougar infestation. Not the glorified type on TV but a feral, seedy mix of short skirts and leopard print cat suits....
uuuggghhhh **shudder**. Fuelled by loud rock n roll and surgery alco-pops, these creatures of the night sourced their prey from the surrounding bar. After a quick wealth assessment these predators
Winter Surf!
The surf break at Margaret River swoop, often with very forthcoming gestures, and claim their prize. At 3am house lights would rise to horrified bar staff as ghastly cougars scuttled into the shadows with their limp catch at the hip.
Considering I worked in ten different jobs over the last year and a half it was great to end on a high note. Just as the bar became tedious with long shifts rolling into a giant blur, along came a girl. A girl who commanded the attention of all customers at the bar. A girl who brightened up the day of all bar staff with her presence. A girl who received more numbers than an Indian call centre. Laura was my high note. A bright, bubbly, smiling German girl we hit it off instantly and soon work became fun again. The last month and a half have been a whirlwind of trips, outings, beaches and nights out. Margaret river with Laura for four days in August being one of the highlights of my Perth visit.
Now the we have braved one of the colder winter Perth has had in a few years, the summer is coming and the road calls again. I have decided
to join Laura and
Albert (the real man in her life) on a four week adventure up the coast to Broome. After we pick up two extra passengers we’ll burn out of Perth for some diving, beaches, walks, hikes and lots of sunsets up north. After my birthday in October I have a flight to Cairns to eventually try and realise my initial dream of working on a diveboat. After four weeks at the great barrier reef I’ll move on to Indonesia and finally home in time for christmas dinner.
Happy days.
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Rachel Towell
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LOVE IT!!!!
Hi Baz, What a fanbloodytastic blog - I'll be smiling for the rest of the day - you are a brilliant writer and super photographer - I can't wait already for your first book ' Baz dahn unda!' ;-) Laura's gorgeous - that pic of the two of you is fab.....hope all still going well with the two of you and Albert (brilliant!!) and enjoy every single second of your last few months travelling! It'll be a session and a half when you come home - looking forward to the madness already! Lots of love your coz, Rach xxx