lollies and spiders

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lollies and spiders

About Me
Name:
laura

Previous Posts
Shit I hadnt realised its been four days since I l...
CONFESSIONS PART II. I miss that xmas type exc...
CONFESSIONS: Its Monday morning and Iam sti...
Who Needs Enemies When You Have Friends..............
Well, smile its your partners sons birthday. But I...
Archives
July 2005

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Shit I hadnt realised its been four days since I last wrote a blog. Oh well not much to say really. I did however get my return ticket and my visa. Pick it all up on Monday and hop the plane on Thursday. The days are just rolling by now and it will feel like nothing inbetween here and Thursday. I was going to write a supporting blog to Sugarelevens blog on the attacks in London and how lame our leaders of the world are but what would be the point. Like so many writers, poets, mechanics, nurses, paper boys, factory workers, doctors, lawyers, soldiers, politicians, couriers, hippies, nuclear physicists, laundry workers, electricians, waitresses, pimps and all the other people from whatever generation who believed in peace for the world and wrote a piece of their mind hoping not to be heard but to influence others to be heard, I feel light and dull. What is the point to write what so many others have written before and still not make a forseeable difference and worse still wake up in years to come and not see any change. Who puts their votes to the power?
But I do feel and see the differences, every now and then.
Conflicting emotions and controversy seems to surround every thought and every reason these days and we wonder why are our children confused and have no sense of identity, pride or faith. Where is it that we define the line between what is wrong and what is right? Is there truly meaning in doing the wrong things for the right reason? In a world where justifications are our sole excuse is there hope in ever finding the meaning behind our actions that get repeated all too often not only in an individual but in the generations that have followed and will follow?
What conflict or wishes of peace or any difference of opinion justify a violent act of retaliation. And where in all of our history have these acts led to the satisfaction that was guaranteed? I put these questions to anyone who has the nerve to question their own emotions and reasons. I put these questions to myself and challenge my own mind where revenge is often thought of as sweeter than compassion for those that have wronged me. Is there a right response to the school bully who pushes our children around other than to stand and fight, or will we lead the way to repeat history again and again?
Still I watch a movie where people are wronged and I feel the rush of adrenalin and my voice supporting them when they take their revenge. When will the fighting cease to be deemed human nature in my mind and others?

posted by water @ 11:38 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

CONFESSIONS PART II.


I miss that xmas type excitment from my youth.
A few weeks ago I went to a free meditation class and got caught peeing in the back alley by my new meditation teacher. Every time he asked us to release the tension from the lower half of our bodies or said the word flow, he looked at me. I havent been back but my friend Cara has enjoyed the class.
My cousin rang rather concerned to tell me she was going for an ultrasound because she might have a cyst in her ovaries. I told her to take her mind off it by going and reading my blog. I was hoping to get a comment.
I enjoy nibbling all the chocolate off of malteasers and collecting a pile of the malt balls to eat at the end. I get pissed if the ball breaks whilst I am trying to nibble the chocolate off.
Once when I was little a girl across the road from where I lived came over to play. We swung around on the clothes line but then the clothes line bent in half. As the girl was much bigger then my slender frame I blamed it all on her, my Mum told her Dad and we watched him flog her in their front yard.
Another time I was swinging my pet bunny around by the back legs. I thought he would enjoy twirly whirlies as much as I did, I had no idea it would break his neck. I then blamed that on the kids next door saying they had let their alsation out of the yard to get my rabbit.
I had poems printed in my year book at school. Pity my Dad wrote them and not me.
I still hate the girl who intimidated me at school and each year vow to do Kung Fu lessons so that I can kick her arse if the need should ever arise. Its been eight or nine years now and she has kids.

I secretly get kicks out of imagining her with unsightly stretch marks that I know I will get if I ever decide to be a breeder.
I put my smokes out in tea cups.
I kiss my pets more than any two legged creature much to my boyfriends dismay.
I like kissing my pets...........
I went through a stage once where I would wait for my boyfriend at the time to fall asleep. I would run to the top of our street where there was an entry to a reserve and take my clothes off and run through the forest.

I miss that.
There have been far too many people I have met and for all the wrong reasons liked or disliked them.
I pick my nose.
I occasionly enjoy the Lets Fart On Each Other game with my boyfriend.
When I was little I put a bonker (big marble) up my arse and my parents had to take me to hospital to get it out.

I get my arms waxed and since it has grown back worse. I wish I had never started that.
I am tired of confessing now and am going.


posted by water @ 10:54 PM 3 comments

Monday, July 04, 2005

CONFESSIONS:
Its Monday morning and Iam still in my pjs and havent organised a return ticket.


I know I will be lucky if I even have it done by Wed.


Nadia, when I freaked out on Saterday I rang your Mum with the intention of finding out that you were ok and hadnt been bombed on the border of Thai Malay (I was'nt intending to tell your mum that though) because I hadnt heard from you. Somewhere in the short conversation my best intentions were lost and I blurted out what I had been made to read about the travel warnings and people dying from jellyfish stings on Koh Pha Nang. Sorry Nads Mum.


I am freaking out about my boat capsizing and drowning or worse getting eaten by sharks. I should never have watched that stupid movie. Worse still if my short life should end somewhere in the deep blue by a pack of hungry sharks I know I will be hearing that famous tune from Jaws. Are you all hearing that tune right now?


I do intend on asking for the seat closest to the few life jackets that may be on board the boat, even at my friends disgust.


I havent read all the information I should have about travelling and I know I wont. Does anyone apart from my loving partner actually read all the fine print they tell you to read on the back of your flight tickets and travel insurance book or is that just me?


Two weeks ago I vowed to exercise everyday should the likely event of my trying to walk up some mountain occur. I walked to the beach and back, a 4km all round walk and done 23mins of steps. I couldnt walk properly for three days and havent excercised since.


I cant swim.


I have no sympathy for the brats not seeing their Dad for 6weeks, I do however have sympathy for him not getting to see them . I know how much he will miss sending them to their room. Does that make me a bad person?


I intend on getting all the info I need to survive off my beloved friend Nads when I arrive rather then learning it before I go. No need for comments on this one guys, I know I am lazy.


My Dads warnings made Malaysia a definate hit list on my Places To Visit List and I dont know if women who smoke in public really are seen as whores or not but Dad if you let Mum go on not knowing this stuff before you actually left the country why not have let me go unaware?


However I do plan to give the fags away the day after I arrive in Koh Samui.


I know that most likely wont happen.


I love my parents more than anyone in the world and am sorry that they will worry about me.


I almost got excited about the idea of a colonic cleanout diet.


And last but not least I feel secure knowng that I have a house sitter to mind my animals and pick up the massive fur balls that Princess enjoys depositing everywhere on a daily basis. Otherwise I would get home to one big fur ball of a house.


posted by water @ 11:29 AM 3 comments

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Who Needs Enemies When You Have Friends..............
Earlier today I had managed to ignore my unscheduled, rather unplanned holiday with no visa or return flight out of Thailand. I was feeling rather content that things would just fall into place. That was of course untill my loving partner and my adorable neighbour decided to have the scare stories of thailand and other destinations over coffee and a few fags. These stories are like the ones you told your little brother or sister to frighten them when you weren't old enough yourself to understand that the boogie man may infact be uncle ted or the strange single person living a few houses down and that infact old uncle ted does far more perverse horrible things to you then the boogie man has ever been known for doing. Between their few fags I had quite impressively managed to vacate the room on a number of occasions (i.e answer phone calls, yell at the kids, yell at the dogs, yell at the kids, oops I already said that) and smoke six fags of my own. I know what your thinking, that is not that damn impressive but I managed to hear every word those coffein frreaks had to say no matter where I was in the house. Even over Francis's cartoons which he has blasting from the T.v in the loungeroom, I was standing next to the god damned thing and could still hear, "oh well when Paul andI went over there had been a guy who got his throat slit not two months earlier than us arriving but their really is nothing to worry about. I mean he got into one of those unmarked taxis and they took him out somewhere and yeah, slit his throat".
Dont get me wronge, I am not the type to get over there and be paranoid to a point that disables me from enjoying my holiday, I am however the person that likes to get the freaking out out of my system for a few weeks before I have to leave so that when I finally board that plane I am too exhausted to give a rats arse about all the what ifs. Which means my doting partner and adorable neighbour just added on a few more really unwanted what ifs. So much so that I had to email the warning attachment (sent with love from my boyfriends father to me, which my boyfriend insisted I had to look at to just be aware.) to one of my dearest friends who I am supposed to be meeting in Koh Samui, but after my freaking-out got to share the freak email and numerous emails from her saying things like " so what date again and Is that a Monday? I will be surprised if she does pick me up at the airport on FRIDAY THE 15TH AT KOH SAMUI . I even sent it with the little note saying "NOTHING to WORRY about but certainly enough to be AWARE of". Dont mention it Nads, after all what are friends for.




posted by water @ 11:17 PM 1 comments

Friday, July 01, 2005

Well, smile its your partners sons birthday. But I dont, all I can think about is my leaving the country with no visa or return ticket (as of yet) in less then 13 days. I always leave things to the last minute and as always panic strikes when it is least wanted and least usefull. I could go and hope for the best on arrival, surely they will see that I am a nice girl and let me enter their country on a promise to purchase a departure ticket asap. But no that is a stupid idea to even begin to entertain as I am the one that if its gonna happen, its gonna happen to me.
I remember being at a beach swarmed with wiry white Australian Victorians (they dont get much sun, but solariums are profitable in this region) on one of the few hot days two Summers ago. Crowded was the shoreline with mummies cooing to their excited children and high school girls giggling to their male gender friends and any other gender that looked their way, so hot and bothered I opted out to retreat to the back of our rusty van and proceed to blow up a little boat. Two hours and 70head spins later with red cheeks and a headache I emerged from the back of the van with my boat, ready to float out far as safety would permit away from the cooing mothers and teeny tots in the bikinis I could never wear. I grabbed my boyfriends nine year old son and gave him the rope I had tied to the boat so that he could swim around tugging me in my boat along behind him. I was satisfied as finally one of the brats had a use and he was happy because he could swim out in the deep water without his Dad having pink kittens. All was well but as all of you know, when all is well you should be wary as the universe likes to drop big surprises on top of you when your not aware and in my case the universe decided to drop a big fucking pebble on my head. When I stopped seeing stars and saw broad cheasted monkies in their tweenties on the shore I saw red. The next ten minutes or so included every word in the language that mummies dont want their kids to hear and continued untill the monkies and their friends who happened to be swimming not far from where my encounter with the pebble had happened, had left. As I said, if its gonna happen, its gonna happen to me. I did however get that empty sand space on shore because the mummies had moved away from the area that the eratic woman floating in a boat seemed to be hurling abuse towards.
I think I will go and get that return ticket on Monday.

posted by water @ 6:38 PM 2 comments

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