Dude Looks Like A Lady!

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I have been working too much as of late which has made me feel as if my life has become stale. My days have consisted of the usual work problems, problem solving and keeping a kitchen running peacefully. While at work the other day, while I was chopping some squid, I realized I needed to do something exciting , something that would make me laugh. Then I thought of it. One of my cooks, Gus, has been trying to press gang me into attending ladies night at a local hostel. The deal is that you can get free Champagne from 9 till 11 if you are a lady or dress as a lady. After a little chat with Gus I was on the phone to pressure my flatmate Phil into dress shopping and drinking. After all we are still backpackers and the words “free booze” carries some serious weight as a backpacker.

Sure enough on Thursday I found myself in a second hand shop rifling through the women's clothing section. Now Gus is a bit of a professional at this ladies night thing, as he frequents ladies night regularly. So he helped me find the right dress. I found a white and dotted one piece dress, a big silver belt, a white purse and a nice white hat. I even got an approval for a middle aged lady on my selections. The grand total a whopping $31, to look like an idiot.

Phil and I put our dresses and accessories on. Filled our purses and got our make up done. My flatmate Eva was kind enough to paint my nails, apply mascara and put some make up on me. We had a few beers and some laughs at how ridiculous we looked then ventured to the Base Hostel in St Kilda. We got many looks and many laughs as we were the only two guys dressed as ladies. We were a group of 7 (4 ladies, 2 phoney ladies and one dude). We began our assault on the free drink. The free booze was some sort of cheap sparkling mixed with orange juice. It was cold, it was free and it was alcohol. We had a blast. We laughed and drank our free gargle. I got compliments on my hat and my red fingernails (thanks Eva). Dressed as ladies you get to meet plenty of people. Gus joined us later in the evening for a few drinks. By 11 when the free booze was ending I was being removed due to my over indulgence of free alcohol. I'm a beer drinker and never drink any more then a glass of wine. But due to the low cost of this wine I drank a lot at a quick pace. Which put me in a really drunken state. I was put into a cab and sent back to Brighton.

It is one thing to dress as a lady, but to act as a lady proves to be much more difficult. The lewd conversations, the quick pace of drinking, the harassing of ladies unfortunate enough to talk to us and the fact that we never crossed our legs while seated made us very un-lady like. At one point some dude said something to Phil that he didn't like. So Phil points his finger in the guys face and threatens to kick his head, keep in mind that Phil is wearing a dress, make up and has a handbag tucked under one arm. Sometimes moments are just too priceless.

This morning I woke, not feeling so well. My dress, hat and handbag on the chair, my belt downstairs and my underwear was mysteriously in the shower. Today I've dwelled in a state of embarrassment for getting so intoxicated last night. The photos are hilarious and I had a blast. I spent the night laughing with some great people and it makes a funny little story. Next time I'm looking for excitement I will avoid ladies wear and free booze.

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Comments

[Bev Duffy]

HAHA!
I still love ya bro!!!! Looks like some good times, you may just be a prettier lady than me :p