Team Disappointment escape from Caboolture

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...I used to wonder why cyclists pedalled about the streets sporting helmets with giant long spikes poking out the top, however after my trot this morning to a pretty look-out spot here in Bowen, it all became alarmingly clear: Magpies. Horrid, beastly birds that swoop down at a frightening pace - before you know it they're flapping their feathers and pecking at your noggin. Being slightly afraid of flying flappers i screamed for my life and picked up the pace - eyes to the sky and hating every minute of what was supposed to be a nice morning gallop by the sea. I was also chased by a wild turkey just 2 days ago so these feathery friends are certainly no friends of mine. Seeing that we're on the bird topic i should best mention Gunther - the new addition to Big Stan and the family. Gunther is a large-billed toucan with giant staring eyes and bright red feet and comes from Rockhampton - the beef capitol of Australia (so not reallymy favourite place!) - he really is a fine looking fowl as you will see from the pics. But enough about birds - let me scribble some quick stories before it's time to hit the road again.

We've been on the move now for just over 2 weeks and are very far away from Caboolture which is marvellous! There are way too many stories to tell so i'll try and stick to the highlights and the low-blows of this adventure so far! We hit the road with Dan (Lightning Dan) our favourite German - all giddy with excitement at finally leaving Caboolture but it was not long before we all became members of Team Disappointment! Rain, rednecks, mosquitos plus the complimentary 'spider in the van, spider in the van' made things a little trying at times! We were hoping for endless beaches and beers in the sun but instead we drove through thunderstorms and got eaten alive by mosquitos - the more North you go, the more creatures want to eat you - to snack on your bones and suck you dry! i remember one eve in particular - we set up camp by this pretty river... BAD move - i would rather have the gators than the mossies. I got eaten alive - even munched my bum when i went for a squat in the dark!(middle of night and too scared to walk to the loo!) i've been scratching for days. That night really was a horror - it gets super hot in Trevor so we nap with the sunroof open - we have secured a mossie net to keep the buggers at bay... only, in the middle of the night - the net came tumbling down and in came the spiders and mossies - Slime freaked - i got a mossie in my ear so we had to pour water in my lobe to get him out... there was much cursing and swearing and min sleep! The next morn i went on another one of my gallops and noticed that one redneck - a particularly feisty one - had a rifle mounted on top of his postbox! That sealed the deal - it was time to make a quick get away!

Another memorable eve during the adventure of 'Team Disappointment' occured at the not so pretty beach town of Clairview. The clouds were bucketing down and it was dark and we couldn't find anywhere to spend the night. We finally pulled in at a little rest stop and cooked some grub in the rain. It was impossible for Dan to set up his mini tent home as it was just too wet which left only one option - it was time to cuddle up and get close! Holy goat - Trevor turned into a sauna - we couldn't open his sunroof as it was raining and we didn't want to open the windows due to the mosquito plague that flapped outside! What a nightmare - me, Slime, Dan, everything we own plus Big Stan and all the kids - hotboxed inside Trevor! I'm just grateful we'd all had a shower that day else the morning tang would have been simply unbareable!!

Fortunately there were some highlights that pulled us through week one and kept us all laughing - or was it just the rum we purchased from the distillery in Bundaberg!? No - looking back, there were some rough times but all in all it was jolly good fun - Rainbow Beach was awesome but nothing in comparison to Dingo beach in the Whitsundays - min dingos but so many TURTLES! We arrived at the Whitsundays (beautiful islands just off the Great Barrier Reef) on day 6 of our adventure - unfortunately it was during school holidays so there were many menacing teens out on the prowl! Thus we steered clear of Airlie Beach - 'the place to be' and headed off to Dingo Beach instead -it was amazing - we had the place to ourselves; not a raincloud or redneck in sight! We all went for a paddle in the big blue and that's when we spied them - green shelled swimmers (TURTLES) - loads of them all swimming crazy close to shore! It's the time of year when they march on to dry land to lay their eggs in the sand so they were clearly looking for a good spot to pop them out! It was really special to see.

Our days in Dingo were excellent fun - swimming, snorkelling, tennis (Lightning Dan did kick my a** which was slightly unfortunate) and of course the curry on the beach day! We cooked up Slime's birthday vindaloo that my mom sent him in the mail - good on you Captain. It was great fun - much eating, drinking and merriness was had as we chuckled our way through into the wee hours.

After 3 days at Dingo, we left our turtle friends and headed up to Bowen - mellow little beach town with super pretty beaches and top notch reefs to snorkel - Slime and i both have our own kits - flippers and all - so are always keen for a shneaky shnorkel! Slime drives me nuts though - as with the birds, I too am a little fearful of the big blue and the creatures that loom in the murky depths... hence i always ask Slime to stay close by when we paddle out to sea. It only takes him about 3 minutes before he spots a spectacular swimmer, forgets about me, and chases it out to sea! I am left bobbing behind wondering if it's best to swim after him - which would mean going even further out into man-eating shark territory or whether to risk getting eaten alone! Jolly good fun i say! I have to say though that the coral and sea-dwellers are really amazing - even spotted a big sting-ray just off the beach the other day. We're going to do a proper trip in a few days out to the Great Barrier Reef which I'm really excited about.

Bowen was also the place though where sadly we had to say goodbye to Lightning Dan. He managed to sign himself up as a tomato picker - my worst nightmare - you all know how i feel about the devil fruit! But besides tomatoes being just plain nasty, Dan works every day of the week from 6 till 6! Shucks - i sure am quite delighted to be an ex-picker! Good luck Lightning... Lightning Lightning very very frightening!

And then there were 2. Well 2 off us plus Gunther and all the kids. These past few days, Slime and i have been even further North - we ventured to Paluma Natinal Park, just North of Townsville. What an amazing place - beautiful waterfalls and crystal clear creeks with big boulders to leap from - oh and rockslides too... double the bruises, double the fun. We also steered Trevor up the steep mountain road to the little town of Paluma - where people really do live 3000ft up in the clouds! It was quite the experience. We had tea in the clouds with Grand Angus McGrump Face - tiny little insect fellow with a crown-shaped heed and angry eyes, and then went for a walk where we discovered Cloudy Creek Falls and the 'Superb Fruit Dove' - a fat bird that feasts on figs! We also discovered the best Ice-Cream in Australia at the Frosty Mango - had to make 2 trips it was so good!

We had a brief stop in Townsville - really nothing special - but i did manage to insult a colour-blind cashier at the Woolworths - Slime still finds it hilarious. I was buying a capsicum and she asked me if it was red or green. I didn't quite know what to do - i looked at her, smiled wryly and said 'it's red' - in a sort of 'are you retarded' kind of way... whereupon with hateful eyeballs she replied, 'i can't see, i'm colour blind'. My bad - i felt awful, but to be fair she was quite the moody type and she could have just told me before setting me up for the monster fall! Anyway, Townsville was fraught with bogans so we took the ferry to Magnetic Island for the day. Wow - what fun - we did spend most of the day walking which wasn't the plan but paid off in the end as we spotted 2 koalas!! I was so excited - one guy was having a fat nap as they usually do - curled up on a branch and dossing hard - but the other one was quite the active bear - scratching madly and doing his daily stretch! We swam in many a secluded cove and marched across the entire island - with zero water - idiots - so the beer at the end was quite spectacular! Nothing like sucking back a cold one after spotting bears and paddling coves😊

This monster mail is too beastly so hats off if you've made it this far! Trevor is anxious to hit the road so i must be off - we're heading for Carnarvon Gorge and then on to 'Lady Musgrave' for our Great Barrier snorkel...and then we'll wind our way slowly back to Melbourne - Trevor is happiest when he's doing 90km/hr and given that we're easily 3000kms or more from Melboune, it could take a while! Missing you all silly amounts and hope everyone is happy.

Lots and lots of love
eM, Slime, Trevor, Gunther and kids
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