I Knew an Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly. I don’t know why she swallowed a fly .perhaps she’ll die? "Australia's Sapphire Coast"

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Bags packed, my time in Europe was up. It was snowing below 1000m and much too cold for my thin summer clothes, my much maligned extremities were crying out for warmth. A last minute baggage check revealed I was massively overweight! According to Qantas regulations, some 300 Euro overweight. This ‘surfboard friendly’ airline has an allowance of 20kg when travelling economy class Europe to Australia. They check surfboards in as normal luggage and whack you with a 30 Euro surcharge for every 1kg over your 20kg limit. Although I had left some heavier items to be posted across at a later date, I still estimated I was carrying about 30kg. Not excessive you might think? Several phone calls to the airline prior to departure failed to improve the situation, so it was a stressful ride to the airport when Yvi dropped me off on a cold Thursday afternoon. Events transpired favourably and as it happened, Qantas had partnered with Lufthansa from Munich to Frankfurt and I seized upon the opportunity to check in under Lufthansa rules and had all my luggage ticketed right through to Sydney for a mere 80 Euros. This behind me I relaxed into the journey ahead.
I felt a mix of emotions as the plane taxied down the runway and I reflected upon my time spent in Europe now that I was leaving European soil and headed back down to Southern climes. I was certainly ready to go but I also felt an odd sadness. Whether it was for the places would have liked to visit but didn’t quite get there or the new friends I had made, or the old ones I had once again left behind, I didn’t know. One thing I was certain of though was the many experiences I had had that were irreplaceable and would remain with me for an entire lifetime. Europe is a rich and diverse place, and for someone who has lived the majority of their life in small town New Zealand, an extremely crowded place. I was looking forward to wide open spaces and more surfing time.
I sat next to an ex-pat Kiwi on the plane from Singapore to Sydney. She spoke with an American accent and now called Australia home. I was confused….did I still talk like a New Zealander? I was tired and tried to get some elusive sleep before arriving at Sydney early morning. Strangely, I was awoken by a gentleman few seats back having an apparent heart attack. An entire crew of in-flight staff had him immobilised on his back in the aisle and were administering oxygen. Our plane was given priority to land so that he could be whisked away by ambulance. Inconvenient I thought as this meant I had a further hour of transit time before connecting with my domestic flight down the coast to Merimbula on the NWS Sapphire Coast.
Donald and family greeted me at the little airport about the same time as tiredness overcame me. It was a beautiful flight down the coast, reassuring me that waves were not far away. Sleep would have been a priority the following day but Don had aspirations to show me a good chunk of the coast including all the surf spots. A traditional Friday night dinner at the local pub ended the day. My surfboard had picked up a ding somewhere in transit so I commandeered Don’s old longboard for my first taste of South Coast Surf. It was small and the water still a little cold for my liking but I was awaiting the day the mythical Merimbula Bar would break and reveal its legendary charms. It was a few weeks later but finally early on a Saturday morning we were greeted with solid 3ft sets grinding down the sand bar. We could have made about 30 new friends that morning but after a while grew tired of the crowd and opted for a wonky bank further down the beach. Most surfs though were had at Short Point, ironically a short point that forms the headland between Tura Beach and Merimbula. It could get quite good but you had to pick the conditions right and it doesn’t hold much of a crowd. When not surfing leisure time was spent fishing, mainly targeting the ferocious flathead but on a couple of occasions we ventured out to the blue water and the continental shelf. A round trip approaching 100km. This was Tuna country and we did manage to coax a few juvenile Albacore onto our lures. Marine life is found in abundance and we were often greeting by herds of migrating humpbacks, dolphins, seals and lots of sun fish. With dwindling finances, I needed to find some kind of work and as it happened, a local window cleaning business was looking for staff. A match made in heaven! I purchased some cheap transport and re-joined the work force. A note for the unweary. Window cleaning is hard work and the frequent 12 hour days soon had me joining Don on the couch at night for a routine bout of post dinner narcolepsy.
The conversation in this moisture starved part of the world inevitably turns to the weather and the ever hopeful prospect of rain. In fact, back to back screenings of “The Weather Channel” often filled an entire nights tv viewing in the Olsen household. Maybe this also contributed to my narcolepsy…

Christmas was spent with the family inclusive of Don, Shelley, Megan, Nicola and her boyfriend Daniel and Marty & Laurie the family Pugs who had very cleverly managed to shop for a new pair of much needed socks for me for Xmas. There was one more day of work for me between Xmas and New Year before I was taking to the road and heading to Melbourne to visit an old friend, Gene.

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