Canberra -Aussie Politics and Roadkill

---

Russell - After working all week we decided it was time we got out of “the city” and to see some more of this great nation, so we hired a car and headed for a weekend in the capital city. No, Sydney isn’t Australia’s capital city. No, not Melbourne either! We spent the weekend in Canberra.

Canberra is a good three hour drive out of Sydney, so we wanted to be off early to make the most of our weekend away. I left Lins in bed on Saturday morning and borrowed her travel card to get the train to go pick up the car. After a short train journey (and then a walk almost back to our apartment, as the rental place turned out to be just around the corner), I arrived at the rental place at just before 7:30 to find it closed with the door closed and the lights off, though there were people inside. This caused me a moment of panic for our carefully planned schedule (Ha ha!) as I had forgotten to check what time it actually opened. However a minute of pacing up and down caught their attention and someone waved me in. The guy fought back a smile as I walked into the locked door before buzzing me in. “Do us a favour mate and turn the lights on” he said as I finally came in. As he processed my details I asked -“can I put another driver on the insurance?”
“Sure. As long as its yer wife.”
“Er, well she will be in four months time. Does that count?”
“Not really mate, but I suppose I can let it go!” They really are laid back to the horizontal. He got on the phone to the car lot and asked a couple of questions before hanging up. “You’ll be right with an automatic wont yer?”
“Erm, I suppose so?” I said, not even convincing me.
“Great she’ll be round the corner”

Lindsay - This would normally be where I would express some outrage at why exactly I’m more fit to drive if I’m married, or why Russell would have more responsibility over me, or what exactly the logic of their stupid policy is, but if I had not learned not to get upset with every instance of sexism in Australia I would have gone crazy weeks ago. Bahhhh!!!!!

Russell - I had ordered the smallest (Lins - read cheapest) type of car they had, but I was presented with a rather large Mitsubishi Lancer. The guy in the car lot took me around and checked it out “You all right with an automatic?” he said again with genuine concern.
“I’ll be right” I said, almost convincing myself this time
“That’s alright then, I did give the option, coz some people don’t like automatics” Hey, hang on, when was I given the option? - I missed that all together! Now I haven’t driven an automatic car for some years, and Lindsay has never driven one ever so you can imagine her joy. At least they drive on the right side of the road here (the left side).

Lindsay - and I had been so excited about driving a car again and feeling like I was rejoining civilised society (the non-bus taking kind), so I was rather crushed with not being able to push Russell out of the driving seat. Although, I am quite grateful that I didn’t have to learn while trying to leave the city. Instead I got my lessons in a Canberra car park over the weekend.

Russell - One thing the car didn’t have was a map, but hey Canberra is the capital city after all and if we head south towards the airport we are bound to find it, right? This resolve to follow signs to the airport was a little too strong as soon we were outside Sydney airport. On the way out of the car park we caught a sign to Canberra and we were away on the open road.

A little way out of Sydney we saw our first “Wombats Next 12km” sign. Unfortunately someone wasn’t paying attention and it wasn’t long before the remains of a cuddly wombat were strewn across the carriageway in front of us. It was at this point I realised why bull bars are so popular over here. For those who haven’t seen a wombat before think of an overgrown badger that is on the verge of suing McDonalds for its obesity problem and you are getting there. These are substantial hunks of meat and could do your vehicle a lot of damage. Unfortunately this wasn’t the only road kill we encountered as we also passed a couple of decapitated kangaroos on the road. This country likes its road kill big - give me a squirrel any day.

The open road in Australia is long, but the scenery is quite beautiful. I have to say that as we were going through the Great Dividing Range it was very reminiscent of Wales, except everything was sunburnt. The mystery as to why Cook called it New South Wales is less of a mystery to me. Though New Mid Wales might have been even better. As we passed the mountains we spotted a flash of yellow on the top of the mountain. Seconds later a huge golden M arose from the mountain, lonely and grotesque against the skyline. At least we know where the wombats get their waistline.

Just before we arrived in Canberra the valley to our left spread out into a massive rift. There were sheep grazing the meagre pickings next to an artesian windmill thingy on the valley floor and the mountains could be just about seen on the other side. We decided to stop at a rest area, complete with barbeque spot, to take in this breath-taking sight. At the rest area there was a small info board explaining that what we were looking at was Lake George. No, I haven’t got that wrong. It was supposed it be a lake but there was no water to be seen other than a billabong dug out for the sheep. A quick look through the binoculars did show a small patch of water right on the other side of the valley, but this lake, which had been 24 meters (about 75 ft) deep at one point, was almost dry. The Aussie drought is definitely a problem.

As we pulled into Canberra we saw signs to the Canberra visitor centre so stopped to get the low down on what was happening. This was actually an excellent place that had lots of info about the area. Lins asked the guy about parking in Canberra and we were amazed that he suggested parking underneath the Parliament building. Surely he had that wrong. What kind of mad country would take a security risk like that?

So a few minutes later we were following the signs for parking down under the Australian Parliament. As it was the weekend parking was free, as it is across Canberra. We popped upstairs and headed in to see politics in action. That was after being x-rayed by security who weren’t that happy that I was carrying a knife. (Lins - Again) It’s just a small one on my key ring but I had to leave it with them until we left.

It may surprise some that Australia only became a country in the twentieth century when the Act of Federation was passed, binding together the different colonies based on the continent. New Zealand was also invited to join the federation but after much thought eventually declined. After Federation the big question of the day was where would the capital go? The people of Victoria saw it as a no brainer - it had to be Melbourne. Unfortunately the people of New South Wales saw it as an equally obvious no brainer - it had to be Sydney. Presumably the rest of the nation was so sparsely populated at the time and so far away from everywhere their opinion didn’t count. In order to break the deadlock a good old compromise was struck and a totally new city of Canberra was chosen somewhere in between Melbourne and Sydney. The word Canberra is supposed to come from the aboriginal word for meeting place, though no one can categorically confirm or deny this. I’ve noticed that with a lot of Aussie place names - “Ah yeah many people say it’s an abo word for ‘place of dawning midnight’” or something equally unlikely, always seems to be the answer when the place name is a bit strange. Why someone doesn’t just ask an aboriginal person beats me, but it is probably just as likely to come from a rather pissed European immigrant trying to say “can I have a beer?”

Once the site was picked the city had to be planned and built, which meant the parliament had to sit in Melbourne until the new home was ready. That was supposed to be a couple of years - five at most. It actually took nearly twenty!

The new parliament building itself is quite impressive, with a large imposing entrance with large staircases leading from it up to an exhibition area. The story of Australian Federation, its relationship with the British Monarchy and the way business is conducted is explained with the dry efficiency you would expect from government. Major incidents from political history are explained with dispassion including the infamous time the Queen’s representative, the Governor General, dissolved the government, sacked the Prime Minister and replaced him with the opposition leader whilst new elections were held. In the past when I have heard about this it is always told as the time the Queen of England meddled in the democratic process and got rid of the people’s choice. The reality was that the two houses of parliament were in deadlock, nothing was getting done so the Governor General (an Aussie) fulfilled his constitutional responsibility to resolve the issue by dissolving parliament. In the subsequent election the opposition leader was elected by a landslide. The Queen was probably informed as an after thought. So much for Monarchs defying the democratic process.

Both the Senate and the House of Representatives’ chambers are available for public viewing and are interesting in their own way, though without the banter of a sitting chamber (really if you get the chance see some on telly, none of this polite “I believe the honourable gentleman may be misleading the house, and I would request he re-phrase his answer” more like “Ah you lying bastard, yer wouldn’t know the truth if it bit yer on the arse”), it was a little soulless. However in a small display case near the portraits of past prime ministers, with no pomp or ceremony, there is one of the few remaining original copies of the Magna Carta signed by Edward II over 700 years ago. It seems amazing to me that such an important document is displayed in such a low key way. There are only four copies left in the world, two at the British Library, one in Washington DC and this one in Canberra.

After seeing the new parliament we headed for the old one. It seems to me rather unbelievable that Canberra has only been a functioning seat of government since the 1930’s, but they have already worn out the first parliament building. This one is much more classical in design but its most notable feature seems to me to be the remains of the Aboriginal embassy outside. This was a camp of temporary tents flying the Aboriginal flag as a demonstration against discrimination against native Australians. It was the scene of many battles between the authorities and aboriginal people camping there but ultimately led to progress on the issues, though no complete solutions.

Having taken our fill of Aussie politics it was time to head for some food. The temperature was heading for the high 30s (around 100F) so we had to find somewhere with air con. Trouble was everything appeared to be closed. It seems most of the businesses in Canberra are there to serve the weekday politicians who aren’t there at the weekend so why bother opening, hey? It gives the owners the chance to visit the multicultural festival. Eventually we found a sandwich shop in the shopping centre which just had to do.

The festival was in full swing in the streets with a fair and various stages showcasing different styles of dance. There was a bizarre Hawaiian number going on with a group of bronzed south pacific women giving it the full hula, though one of them at the back was clearly a white Aussie, still it made it even more multicultural.

After we had been multicultured out we headed for the hotel. Our hotel was near the airport so once again we were following the signs for airport and once again we took it to the nth degree and ended up outside the departure lounge. The airport is amazingly small for a capital city. It has more in common with Haverfordwest than Heathrow. At the hotel we were confronted by what I suppose you would call a full-on receptionist, ‘crazy’ might be another word. She managed to get through the booking then asked if we wanted to play tennis. It was 4pm it was still about 35 degrees (about 95F) so we politely declined!

In the evening we went back into town for a romantic meal. At least that was the idea! When we got back into town the festival was in full swing and the town was alive. We headed for our chosen Italian restaurant only to be told we would have to wait 40 minutes for a table. The restaurant was only half full so I can only assume the kitchen was in chaos. We headed next door and found the place in a similar situation but they did seat us and we were able to order eventually. After getting what looked like Octopus rather than chicken (apparently they are almost the same the word in Italian or at least that was their excuse!) and waiting forever for the bill to arrive we were ready to get out of there. I handed over my PIN card to pay only to be told they don’t take cards! What kind of third world country is this! We then got caught out by Canberra’s traffic system and missed our turning back to the hotel. I saw a sign for the suburb we were staying and took it assuming that there would be signs to the airport which would guide us back to the hotel. No such luck! We tried every direction with no luck at all. Eventually the only option was to drive back to the centre of town and get the road we missed. We really should buy a road map!

The next day dawned hot so we decided that a trip to the relative cool of the blissfully air-conditioned Australian National Museum was in order. The ANM is set up to record Australian history across three broad themes, Land, Nation and People. It reviews the history of Australia’s successes, mistakes and down right shocking behaviour. In the land section the disaster of the introduction of non-native species is played out on big screens. The rabbit is probably the most famous, when a Victorian Victorian (as in place and the time period) gentleman decided it would be quite fun to import some rabbits for a few pot shots. Rabbits being rabbits bred like… well…. rabbits, and were quickly taking over the continent moving by 10s of km each year across the country. They stripped the land bare and out ate almost all the native animals, causing mass starvation. In an attempt to stop them a rabbit proof fence was built across Western Australia. Imagine that, from the north coast to the south coast of Australia is 1000s of miles long and they built a chicken wire fence from one end to the other. It took ages to build, so long in fact that by the time they got half way across the rabbits had already hopped past the line! So another plan was needed. No, just another fence a bit further west as the Aussies raced to protect at least one corner of the continent. Then someone had a brilliant idea why don’t we import some foxes to eat the rabbits. (There was an old lady who swallowed a fly…..). Fox populations boomed in Oz - no fox hunts I guess. For course then the war went biological with the creation of the Myxomatosis virus. This devastated rabbit populations for a while as the country was strewn with blind rabbits too delirious to eat, slowly starving to death. But as they say “life will find a way” as Darwin (the man not the place) came to the rescue and the fit rabbits with immunity survived to pass on their genes. Rabbits are all but totally immune to the disease and the populations are on the rise again. So what’s the answer? Well don’t let anything else into the country, hence the manic customs arrangements we experienced on the way into the country.

Perhaps the most poignant part was the part concerning the treatment of Native Australians over the years. I always find it hard to look at history without applying my own modern values to it and in this case I had to hold myself back more than usual. When Cook and his crew arrived in Australia it was defined as “Terra Nullus” (uninhabited) which remained the official line until the 1960s. What they meant was there was no one powerful enough to repel them, and certainly no white people. The 400,000 native Australians were not even defined as human beings in census recordings. It is easy to say that they were a transient population who didn’t take part in society as it was known to white Australians but there was really little effort made. When they finally were recognised a plan to integrate these people into white society was instigated with the forced removal of children as young as three weeks from their natural parents, who were placed in the care of white families or church missions. The aim was to help them forget their ancestry and give them a better life. Few of those who on the videos who lived through this were prepared to call it a better life, just different. The matter of native rights is still a hot political topic. Many white Australians now feel that the pendulum has swung too far the other way and that native peoples, whether they be Aboriginal, Torres Strait Islanders, whatever, are given far too much leeway and are living on the guilt of modern Australians. The government officially expressed regret for the past in 1999, stopping short of a full apology lest they attract any compensation claims. At the beginning of the new century reconciliation sentiment is high, with walks for reconciliation and land rights being extended. But I worry that the fundamental issues aren’t being addressed, and perhaps they can’t be addressed. The Aboriginal belief system is based on the sanctity of the earth and nature, with the current people acting as custodians for future generations. Much of the modern Australian economy of based on mining those lands for its rich minerals for export. I for one can’t seem to square this particular circle.

At the end of the museum is a quirky little “museum of the future”. It is hard to explain it but basically you have your picture taken and then asked to design your house or car of the future. Ours was pink and white, with turrets, a swimming pool of the side on a big arm and a satellite dish. Then everyone’s designs are added to a video montage as you drive around the city of the future. I was a little confused when I came out, but hey I had just helped design a pink and white house.

Being all museumed out we headed out for lunch in the heat followed by a drive out to the countryside. Without a map. Not the brightest move as we missed our destination by about 10 miles. We did find ourselves in some spectacular countryside near the National Park. Lins was driving so it came as a great laugh to me when we came across a bridge so narrow our car could barely fit down it. As the place names became more and more unbelievable, we were glad to find the visitors centre for the National Park. It was closed. I guess we still haven’t got grips with the checking closing times before we set off thing. The temperature was in the high 90s again and the bush fire risk was very high according to the signs so we headed back to the relative safety of Sydney, stopping for an evening picnic on the way.

Lindsay - I suppose the only notable point left to mention is that the next day I woke up and went to work, and during the course of the afternoon I developed the biggest mossie bites I have ever had over my back and backs of my legs. I am putting responsibility on the seats in the hire car, although Russell is blaming the dusk picnic. He claims they didn’t bite my front because we were facing each other. Anyway I got a day off work out of it so on balance I am still pleased.

---

Photos

New Parliament
The Australian Capitol in the capital

Golden Arches
Good Bush Tucker! Give me a Witchey Grub any day

Lake George?
So where's this lake then?

Lake George
Billabong George!

Map of Lake George
So that's waht it is supposed to look like

The House of Representatives
The new MP for Williwagawaga

The Senate
Red benches for sleeping on just like home.

Old Parliament
Old parliament as seen from the new

Aboriginal Embassy
Remains of the embassy fighting for native rights

Australian National Museum
Conservative architecture!

Road Bridge
Plenty of room!

Where?
You are just making these up now.