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Published: March 1st 2009
The wife and I went camping this weekend at Huntsville. We took our new travel trailer out for the first time. But this travel blog is not about that. It is about Brookshire Brothers, Hy-Top cheese & muffins and a series of emails I received last week. The first email read as follows:
According to the announcement made over the PA system, "Brookshire Brothers has a variety of Hy-Top Brand cheeses for all of your cheese needs."
This email is from an acquaintance that is also known as “Pappy” in his circle of friends. There is also a “Crappy” and "Slappy”. (I once requested to claim “Grand Pappy” but was denied). Several other people that I do not know were involved with the thread as well. Here are some comments:
1)What is a "cheese need", or is that just used because it kind of rhymes?
2)Unless I'm an idiot, the names on these products and the logos are some of the worst I've seen outside of Soviet Russia
3)This is Magnolia. By law, your "cheese needs" must fall within two catagories: processed stuff that is wrapped in cellophane, and processed stuff that is sold in a jar.
And don't even think about asking on what aisle the water crackers are located. By law, they sell only saltines and Ritz (although there is a Hy-Top version of Ritz).
And my favorite
4)Does Hy-top make muffins? I like muffins.
What if Bubba Blue and Forrest Gump had been discussing cheese instead of shrimp? Maybe it would have been similar to this:
Bubba: Anyway, like I was sayin', cheese is the fruit of the udder. You can slice it, shred it, grate it, melt it, crumble it. Dey's uh, Cheddar, Mild Cheddar, Medium Cheddar. Sharp Cheddar, Colby, Colby-jack. Dey's full moon and half moon longhorn, rat trap, block, random weight, constant weight. Dey’s Blue Cheese . Dat’s where my name come from. When my ancestor was set free he took the name Blue ‘cause he like Blue cheese. Dey’s Brie, Camembert, Cottage. Dey’s Parmesan cheese, Doppelrhamstufel …….. TWO HOURS LATER……. Dey’s Government cheese, individually wrapped slices of pasteurized processed cheese food. Dey’s Velveeta. Dey’s cheese burgers, cheese balls, and cheese cake. That- that's about it.
Bubba: Have you ever been in a real cheese factory?
Forrest Gump: No, but I've been in a real big
Anyway, we drove into town for breakfast Sun. AM. Afterwards we stopped at Brookshire Brothers just to check out the Hy-Top cheese and muffins (Hy-Top does make a muffin mix). I took photos of the entire line of Hy-Top cheese. The manager didn’t like the camera being in his store. I told him that I was a USDA inspector. He asked for my badge. I gave him the same line that Alfonso Bedoya did in “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre”. Not really, but I wanted to. On the way out I went down the bakery aisle. No Hy-Top muffins. Sorry Muffin Man. That is what I have named Pappy’s friend. I’m not sure which one he is, but now he is “The Muffin Man” from the song. No, not the one you are thinking of. The other one. May 21, 1975. Armadillo World Headquarters, Austin. Zappa Concert. It is the end of the concert. The closing number is “The Muffin Man”.
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