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Published: July 25th 2012
The rubber bands are heading in the right direction.
These are the words of wisdom that I discovered contained within my fortune cookie last night after consuming some mediocre-at-best Chinese food. I was perplexed, confused, and even excited. This string of words could well be the secret of life, or the unifying code that aligns quantam theory with gravity, or the very name of God! Or it could be a typo or a joke... Either way though, it seems that I had a mystery on my hands.
In the style of the great dectectives of yore, I prepared to travel the world and spend millions of dollars on cool equipment whilst utilizing my astounding deductive reasoning to see connections where none have before. It was only then that I realized that those "great dectectives of yore" that I was planning to emulate were Indiana Jones, Batman, and Sherlock Holmes - and that they were all fictional and have apparently created unrealistic expectations in my brain. Every now and again that whole "fictional" thing catches me off guard and it takes a little bit of time to recover. Anyway, because the tried and true methods of dectection proved to be far more time consuming, expensive, and not-in-agreement with the laws of physics for them to actually exist, I had to come up with a solution that would be the next best thing. My friends, I found that solution...
I posted a status update on my facebook page asking my friends what they thought of my fortune cookie. Yes, I'm quite impressed with myself for coming up with such an elegant and creative to my quandry. I would simply ask random people their opinions. Surely, there is no better source of knowledge. As it turns out, there isn't.
The very first response that I received said simply "...in bed". Ahhh yes. The age old (and much appreciated) add-on that seems to make sense out of any fortune. And I do have to give this friend credit. This particular fortune might be the second best fortune I've ever received for this interpretation. (The first of course is the cookie years ago that said, "Keep your courage up, and it will keep you up." It really doesn't get any better than that.) Regardless of its fit however, I felt that there was more to this mystery than meets the bed.
The next was that life was similar to a large slingshot, in which I am the little rock. It could be said that right now my slingshot is primed to fire, sending me to far away places. And it is apparently a good thing that those rubber bands are heading in the right direction too, otherwise they might "smack my rear". I've paraphrased the thought, but I think I mostly got it. Now this is an interesting thought! I am in fact "primed to fire" and have already made my travel intentions known to my current employers effective at the end of August. (Don't worry, there will be plenty of upcoming posts regarding that point...) Perhaps this simple cookie really can predict the future, and offer warnings when necessary! I wonder what some of my other friends think...
One said that, like a rubber band, life is "a big flexible circle" in that it can be bent and twisted. Based on this idea, one could surmise that the "rubber bands" in the fortune cookie are actually referring to my life as a whole. In that case this is a very positive fortune. It is telling me that whatever I'm doing, I should keep doing. That I should continue to roll down my intended path, because to do otherwise would be the "wrong direction" - or perhaps the "left direction". That's a hard point to distinguish.
Other suggestions included the idea that broken rubber bands which are then thrown away are sad because they aren't heading in the right direction and that the phrase "rubber bands" actually refers to a new up and coming musical montage that will be the next big thing. I'll be keeping my eyes open for them!
How can one fortune cookie have so many interpretations that sound correct? They can't all be right! But then I noticed something else (Detective Comics #Soarpheat!) - I was able to see my friends' personalities within their interpretations. I remember many years ago I was on a date with an individual, and at the end of the meal we received fortune cookies and the one opened by my date was blank. She was a little freaked out, and thought that meant that she was going to die or something terrible like that. I had a different approach however. I pulled out a pen so she could write whatever she wanted. You know, I think that all prophecies of any kind are like that. Fill in the gaps yourself, make it positive and desirable, and then work your ass off to bring YOUR fortune to life. So without a doubt the rubber bands are heading in the right direction. And if their ever not, I'll be able to fix it. 😊
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