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Published: February 28th 2008
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Arriving At The Great Parnassus
Great food, you can help yourself to beer and we got to the bar just in time to see United beat Arsenal 4 0 in the Cup. Happy days!! So, it just proved too much for him.
Picture the scene. 3am Tuesday 19th February 2008 and Fidel is lying in his sick bed, scrutinising the passenger lists from that morning’s incoming airline schedule. Suddenly, about a third of the way down the passenger list for the Cancun to Havana flight, he spots that dreaded name - Cotton!! That’s it, he thinks, enough is enough. Against all odds I’ve governed for 48 years, survived trade embargos, outlasted nine US Presidents and unrelenting pressure from the CIA but this is the final straw; if the Cotton’s are coming to Cuba, sod it - I’m off!!
The timing really was that incredible. Cuba is a place we’ve both really wanted to visit for ages and have kept just as close an eye on Castro’s health as his multitude of doctors. The reason for this is that it’s generally accepted that, once he’s gone, it’s a big step into the unknown for this island “paradise”. Uncanny then that, as we watched TV in bed that morning in Cancun, CNN switched to breaking news that he’d resigned - just six hours before we were due to set off for Cuba. But hang on,
It´s Not Fair.........
Why isn’t February in Bolton like this? I’m getting ahead of myself here................
Ideally, we wanted to fly from Santiago straight to Havana, but the good old US of A made sure that wasn’t an option for us. We need to use American Airlines soon and they simply won’t allow that to happen if the name “Cuba” appears on our round the world air ticket. This is frustrating as it means we had to buy add on flights to get to Cuba from another location (hence the visit to Cancun) and, worst of all, the plane from Santiago to Cancun actually lands at Havana on route but we weren’t allowed to get off there!!
Cancun wasn’t high on our list of places to visit as a) we’d been there before and b) our aim during this sabbatical is to largely ignore traditional holiday destinations and see parts of the world we wouldn’t normally get to. On this occasion though, we had no little choice and, on the plus side, it did mean we were going to a place we’d really liked on our only other visit ten years ago. As it turned out, we had a thoroughly enjoyable (and reasonably eventful) three days in this
The Great Parnassus
Built in a style that blends a cruise ship and Fawlty Towers. Mexican Caribbean paradise.............
Cancun is a coastal resort in the country’s eastern most state of Quintana Roo, although, in truth, you’d struggle to guess it’s in Mexico at all. To the casual observer, the resort looks to all intents and purposes as if an all aged, all inclusive Spring Break has been uplifted from America and dropped into this part of the Caribbean. I’d estimate at least 95% of the tourists are our friends across the pond and that in itself is a real eye opener. Most of them are now so geared up for this all inclusive lark that they bring their own larger style drinking vessels rather than use the ones provided by the hotel (a bit like Alan Partridges’ “big plate” at the Linton Travel Tavern, if that means anything at all to you......................?).
We’d managed to secure an excellent deal at an exclusive resort called The Great Parnassus which was absolutely enormous. Built to imitate a cruise ship it is easily the biggest hotel we’ve ever stayed in. Over 300 staff cater to the needs of guests from 600 suites and the place is pristine as it’s been open for less than a year.
It May Not Be The Real Mexico
But it’s a beautiful place to spend some time. Plentiful bars, gourmet restaurants, night clubs, pools etc etc meant we didn’t leave the complex during our three day stay - not like us at all as we normally like to get out and see a place but two words kept holding us back - “all” and “inclusive”. In truth, these three days was really just a means to an end; to give us access to Cuba, not about exploring Cancun.
Even though we were only there for three days, we had an eventful time. With the resort being so new it was still having some ”teething problems”, and, because we’d got such a fantastic deal we were a little more tolerant than if we had paid the full price. You have to draw the line somewhere though...........
One evening we decided to make use of the large Jacuzzi out on our balcony whilst enjoying the champagne that was complimentary on our arrival (it’s a tough life, I know!!). Problem number one was the total lack of hot water but we pressed on, the evening was warm anyway and we didn’t want to spoil the moment. Problem number 2 occurred when, despite having switched on the “Do Not
Take No Prisoners!!
I showed Angela no mercy and hammered her at Crazy Golf here. That’ll teach her for beating me in New Zealand!! Disturb” light, our door was suddenly being hammered on and the phone ringing off the hook. It turned out our Jacuzzi wasn’t properly plumbed in and the guests below were receiving an unwanted monsoon through their ceiling.
There had been other minor niggles but this proved the final straw so I made an appointment to see the General Manager of what was fast becoming an giant Mexican version of Fawlty Towers. The following morning I met the Manager who turned out to be a much more agreeable character than Basil Fawlty and conveyed my disappointment. He nodded understandingly and then, when I explained that we were back in Cancun in March for three days, he immediately asked us to “be his guest” in the best room available - free of charge. Get in!!
I don’t know if she did it on purpose, but Angela had told me the large glass safety screen on our balcony was mirrored. This meant I spent our entire stay strolling around in various stages of undress in the mistaken belief that the many people at the pool below could only see me from the chest up. It was only when I was sunbathing
On The Beach
We did manage to drag ourselves away from the all inclusive to have some great walks along Cancun’s massive beach. at the self same pool that I noticed with horror that I could see the maids cleaning the glass in their entirety and that it was not mirrored at all!! (I thought I’d been getting some strange looks). Another embarrassing moment was when I was sitting close up to the poolside bar in an effort to get some shade and be able to see the laptop screen. Stupidly, I’d position myself directly next to a very big and very full overspill tank for the beer pumps - you can see what’s coming here, can’t you?
Unexpectedly, a strong wind whipped up and one gust was enough to tip the tank and its stinking, stale contents all over me. Uncontrollable laughter broke out from the onlooking yanks so I did the only thing I could in the circumstances and pretended nothing had happened. That was difficult as I’d been hit by a tidal wave of rancid alcohol and couldn’t see the laptop screen as a) it was awash with beer and b) so were my sunglasses. Eventually, when I thought enough time had elapsed, I skulked over to Angela’s sun bed (she’d missed the whole thing) and told her we needed to leave as I was going for a shower.
So now, at long, long last, the time had come for us to go to destination I’d been looking forward to the most in our year out - Cuba. The oldest Communist state in the western hemisphere, infamous for a questionable human rights record and the Guantanamo Bay prison camp. A country of great beauty, even greater contradictions and one that aggressively thumbs its nose at any of its detractors. Home of Bacardi, Havana Club rum and the world’s best cigars. Free housing and health care for all, a literacy rate of 97% and four decades of rationing.
This is going to be a very interesting next port of call................
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Darren Wooldridge
non-member comment
brings back memories
Hi Mate Wow! those photos certainly brightend me up on a dull cold winter day in donny! Brought back lots of memories from my trip last year. Hotel looks stunning even if the plumbing isnt finished yet! Good luck with your journey into the unknown of post Fidel Cuba I know you already do this - but try keep a tight grip on your wallet and dont smile at anyone carrying a machine gun! All the best Daz PS 'A tidal wave of rancid alcohol' ! youve changed on that trip - there was a time you would have been grateful!!