Baa!

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A leisurely start today as we are going on an organised tour and they always wait till it’s baking hot to take tourists out. We have breakfast and are waiting in reception at 10am as instructed.

The minivan has arrived. We are last pick up...just our luck, the van is full and we are on the back seat. We prepare ourselves for a bumpy ride. We are sharing the seat with a German couple, Marcus and Sebastian, so we enjoy some interesting conversation and have joint groans at every speed bump as we are rocketed to the ceiling each time.

Our tour is taking us to the Tlacoluoa Valley and, whilst we could have attempted it independently, the distance covered might have been a bit of an ask in just one day.

Our first stop is at Santa Marie del Tule where there is a huge tree reputed to be over 2000 years old and, so we are told, one of the largest in the world. That said, I am sure we were told much the same thing about a tree we saw in Bangalore! We have been promised an English speaking guide who turns out to be the van driver. He leads us to a tree with an altar in it...it really doesn’t look very large to me!

We wait patiently whilst the guy gives his spiel in Spanish to the Mexicans in our group and can’t wait to hear the jokes that have been causing so much mirth. Suddenly the Mexicans disperse heading off in the direction of the pretty town square. We look towards the driver/guide expectantly. Vintey minutes he says. It’s clear he can’t speak a word of English but manages to convey that we have 20 minutes free time!

We spend a while looking at the square and Ian states that, according to the guide book, the tree is in the churchyard! We make our way towards the church and, sure enough, there is a huge tree in the corner. Well it might have been good if the guy had taken us there, even if he can’t speak English. I always thought that the whole point of these tours was that we all followed like sheep?

Anyway, we are now being barred access to the churchyard. Eventually we suss that it’s because we have to buy a ticket. But since it’s clearly visible from this side of the fence it seems a pointless exercise. The other lambs have gone to the ticket office and are now filing inside.

Our next stop is at a town called Teotitlán del Valle. It’s an artisan town famous for its weaving and use of natural dyes. Here we are met by an extremely articulate bilingual guide who expertly explains the dying process in interwoven Spanish and English. The master weaver is demonstrating the skills and techniques alongside him. We learn about how each colour is produced. The local sheep are white or brown - when mixed giving a range of natural colours. Black is achieved by mixing in crushed berry seeds of some description and the yellow range is taken from marigolds. We are shown a cactus leaf infested with a parasite, which eats into the leaf (eventually killing it) and then the insect pupates, spinning a small cocoon. This cocoon of the cochineal insect is then crushed for the red dye.

Finally, we are treated to the usual hard sell technique that we had previously been joking about with the two German lads. It’s all in Spanish but the usual demos of how small they can fold the woven products for ease of transport or the courier services available. We note several credit card machines and calculators are sitting on the side, ready for use! We leave the Mexicans at their mercy and take the opportunity of free use of their loos. They obviously haven’t sold too many carpets lately as there is no loo paper, soap or even running water from the taps...fortunately I have all three.

Now we are off to Tlacolula de Matamoris to sample their local speciality: Mezcal. It’s the local fire water. We are given a guided tour of the production process before being whisked off to their ‘free bar’. Well we all know that there is no such thing as a free lunch but it’s not a very hard sell. It’s far too early in the day for me and I’m really not keen on the real hard stuff. Ian samples a few but they are not to his taste either. They range from the just distilled, to the casket-aged for eight years. One you could drink or power a car on, and the other just seems like petrol. They even include a caterpillar to illustrate its proof - the caterpillar has not rotted! Now they move on to the flavoured liqueurs - less alcoholic...well it’s not hard to get less than 80% proof is it? I sample the passionfruit, coffee and strawberry. Quite nice but I’m not lugging a bottle of liquor around in my bag for another 4+ weeks...if it were to last that long. :-) Maybe I will indulge in the duty free at Cancun!

It’s gone one and the sun is strong. Ian suggests an ice cream. It is more like a sorbet. We have no idea what the flavours are so I point to an orange one...they give me a taste - I don’t know what it is but it tastes nice so I go for it. It turns out to be carrot and just what we needed as we are now all stuffed back onto the minibus bound for Mitla.

At Mitla, we are led off to see the Zapotec archaeological ruins. Here we are met by an extremely good English speaking guide. This is the place that the Zapotecs moved to after they abandoned Monte Alban. No one knows why they moved and there is not much left of it today as the Spanish demolished many of the structures and used the materials to build their church which stands next door. It is most important for its geometric designs which are masterpieces given that they had no metal tools.

The one, mostly intact and restored building was a temple used for funeral services. Not pyramid shaped for once, it still has the steep steps to its front face, with several stout sandstone columns that would have supported a roof. Inside the courtyard are rooms at each cardinal point containing examples of intricate stone carvings and inset mosaic work in the same geometric designs. We finish with a visit to the next courtyard, where they have excavated some of the tombs.

From here we move onto lunch, this is a ‘stuff yourself silly’ buffet so we decide to give it a miss. We order guava juices which are very nice. Now we have come to be serenaded by a group of Mexicans. We pay them some money to go away.

Our final stop takes us off and up into the mountains, first over multiple speed bumps and then on a dusty dirt road. It’s hell sitting at the back. And to top it all, one of the passengers has just got up and turned off everybody’s individual air con blowers. Unbelievably rude! I won’t say which nationality he is as we shouldn’t blanket label people...but no prizes for guessing. He gets to mine...which is actually nowhere near him...and I tell him no! I’m cold, he grumbles. Well I am hot, I reply. Oh dear, another problem with tour groups - there is always one...!

Though bumpy, our trip through the Sierra Madre mountains affords stunning views and at the end, a petrified waterfall. We are back to our driver/guide for any explanations so there are none. We gather that we have an hour and if we want to know the way we can ‘follow him’ - he points to another guy who will show us th way...oh, and we can tip him if we feel like it. The driver could easily have dropped us by the sign posts which come into view as soon as we climb the slippery, dirt mound where we were dumped and are on the proper path...so actually we don’t feel like it!

One hour is not enough time to spend in this place so it’s a shame we had to have the long lunch break but we knew this would come parcelled up in a van tour day out. We have to choose between swimming in the pools or walking down the steep path to see the waterfalls properly. We choose the walk.

The waterfalls are between 60-90m above the valley floor and were created by warm fresh water springs at the cliff top, super-saturated with calcium carbonate and other minerals, flowing over the edge of the cliff. As the water flows down and cools, it loses much of the excess calcium carbonate which is left deposited on the rock. Over time this has produced a ‘petrified waterfall’ look, much like that of a candle where the wax has overflowed from the wick. The particular colours of each section is due to the presence of other minerals such as silver, barium or iron.

Finishing our walk, we arrive back at the pick up point, but no one else has returned. We wander around the stalls and find fresh fruit being sliced and sold in plastic cups. Now this is what I would have really liked earlier - we buy a large pot and share it for our late lunch. Ian is a bit complaing that one of his bits of ‘fruit’ turns out to be cucumber!

It’s getting on for 6pm and the sun is setting over the mountains. Our group is all back now - 30 minutes later than we were instructed. Oh, I do hate it sometimes that we are soooooo British! Why didn’t we take 90 minutes, then I could have had a quick swim!

We all pile into the van for the long journey back...though not so long as it took coming here. The minivan is speeding along at a rate of knots...pretty much ignoring most speed bumps and breaking all speed limits. It’s now pitch black and the lights in the towns and villages are twinkling below. It’s a bit like the view you get on a clear night from an aeroplane.

We arrive back at our hotel at 7.45pm. We are, of course, the last drop off! Ian shoots off to collect our laundry...he just about makes it before they close.

We decide to eat in a Mexican restaurant tonight - a small local place just round the corner from our hotel. We have chicken tacos in the regional mole sauce and yes, I admit it, a huge plate of chips. The chips come with a bottle comically labelled ‘Catsup’, which is nothing more sinister than tomato sauce...well at least we hope it is!

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