Would you like me to lapdance?

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So I had to spend a couple more days at Barre de Navidad than I’d planned to, quarantining myself in my hotel with the shits but it soon passed and I made my way to Guadalajara.

You know when I said Mexico City rocked? I think I must’ve meant this badboy! I just had an unbelievably cool week there. The city’s quite modern and alive with music; during the day you can hear it coming from every shop, car and plaza but the place is something else after dark. There’s a couple of hundred thousand students too, so there's plenty of energy around.

Found incredible live music almost every night I was there, from Barrio Zumba (a crazy four-piece Manu Chao-esque outfit) to Brazilian reggae to Cuban salsa. I even went to see Israel’s most popular group in concert, The Idan Raichel Project who combined traditional folk instruments with a synthesizer and some Ethiopian-Israeli singers - all very impressive! If anyone’s after a hostel in Guadalajara, I’d strongly recommend the Hostel Guadalajara Centro, as they were very good at organising nights out.

After that concert I was out with an Israeli and a Mexican from the hostel and a bunch of 20-odd students we’d invited us to a birthday party miles out of town. Getting a lift over there, this was actually the second time in three nights I’d been pulled over and frisked (“What’s that you say, Officer? Four in the back? And the driver’s drunk? It’s not her car and she doesn’t even have a licence?! Well perhaps you could take these twenty pesos and treat your good lady wife to a little something special this Christmas and we’ll just be on our way…!”)

That was a seriously cool night; unbeknown to me everyone had chipped in a couple of quid and at 3am, a bunch of ten mariachis turned up at the house and played in the street for the birthday boy! Once some of the students started going home, the party carried on with his mates and family around, drinking and dancing with me quite flattered to be in their house. (Beware, English twat abroad, something along the lines of “You’re a Mexican and I like curry… let’s have a chili-eating competition”)

Other highlights of the week included the obligatory trip to Tequila and getting a lapdance from a ladyboy on stage in an almost empty cabaret club, in a rather “Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!” moment, though that’s a long story…

Last Wednesday and I dragged myself kicking and screaming off to Puerto Vallarta a huge bay on the Pacific coast. It's an overpriced trashy shithole of a place that’s overrun by loud obnoxious tourists. I hadn’t planned to go there originally but a group of gapyear students who were doing a few months’ project work in the area (who I’d briefly met in Guadalajara) had said I was more than welcome to stay with them. Clearly I was in a mood for pushing my luck!

I was quite relieved that I managed to have a good night out there before I left, much of it down to regressing about ten years and drinking off the streets with the billions of people who all descend on the town every Saturday night.

Am now making my way back to Mexico City (not a lot better at budgeting than when I left) and have just stopped off for a couple of nights in Guanajuato en route.

By the way, remember me saying I thought all Mexican food was the same? How wrong I was! Now that I’m virtually Mexican myself (tan, Spanish…) perhaps I could enlighten you with this cut-out-and-keep guide to local food:

• Tacos....................Beef sandwich
  
• Enchiladas..............Beef roll
  
• Fajitas...................Beef wrap
  
• Quesadilla...............Beef (and cheese!) butty - occasionally deepfried
  

Amazing! And so healthy too… I wonder how many seats I’m gonna have to pay for on the flight back home.

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Photos

Around the José Cuervo tequila distillery
Me, Micky, Amber & Maya presumably all toasting the very drink that's laid waste to vast swathes of my young life...

The girls from Puerto Vallarta
Everone from England comes from London when they're travelling. There's Cornelia and Abby from Surrey ("London"), Sarah from Brentwood, Essex ("London") and Charmay from Manchester ("just outside London").
And no, I have no idea what they're doing with their legs.

Comments

[Rob]

Cockneys
TWAKILA....IT MAKES ME YAPPY....TWAKILA....AY FEEEEEEEEL FYYYYNNNNNEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!! YO ! Hows it going ? I like the picture of the Cockney Chicks ! I dont know !? You fly half way around the world to score with some of your fellow cockneynies !? Did your meeting go something like this? 'in the background' - 'Fancy another apple and pears guv'nor' GRAHAM: 'Whats that I hear...the sound of bow bells? Right here in Old Mexico City Town? I must investigate me, I must.' Perkins goes off to invetigate. Some girls with their pyjamas on and their knick knacks showing eating Jellied Eals in the corner singing Mary Poppins songs.... ...Graham - 'Alrigh gals'? Cockneys - 'your not a dirty Northerner are you?' Perkins..-'nah - cockney me, I is' Cockneys ' thats good, we aleady have one dirty Northerner with us already, we cant have two, the place would stink of bread and dripping' Perkins 'Thats alright, Im a Cockeyney like, and I likes some of those Jellied Eals. I know Little Mo and Sonya me.' Cockneys - 'come and join in our traditional cockney singalong and eat our whistle and flutes' All Cockneys together including Perkins sing the Eastenders theme tune...DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM....DER DER DER DER DER DEEEE DERRR....etc... Having a good time? Ill tell you a story of things that have been happening here. Woke up this morning and it started raining. Think that happened yesterday and the day before too - what fun !!!