Chapter 1 - Anicca

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Chapter 1 - Anicca

Pali was said to be "a common language of culture among people using different dialects in Northern India, used at the time of the Buddha, and employed by him." Much of the teachings of Vipassana Meditation are based on the Pali language, and translated as closely as possible into other languages for non-Pali speakers, which is just about everyone in the world.

Vipassana Meditation is a non-sectarian practice taught to all people, regardless of religious affiliation. It is said to be the purest teaching of meditation taught by the buddha some 2500 years ago. It was practiced by tens of thousands in the area which is now south asia, including Northern India and Burma. According to the present day leading lay teacher, S.N. Goenka, the pure teachings of Vipassana were all but lost in India following centuries of interpretations and sectarianism, but that they remained preserved in what is now the country of Burma. S.N. Goenka is a part of a lineage of Vipassana teachers, and is responsible in large part for the re-introduction of Vipassana teachings to India and to many other countries around the world.

The word "Anicca" in the Pali language literally means "inconstant". Everything, within us, and outside of us, is undergoing constant change. In the teachings of Vipassana, we are taught to acknowledge, and diligently remind ourselves of this as we sit and meditate. As we sit, observing our bodily sensations, thoughts, and emotions, we can see that they are changing from one moment to the next. At times we experience pleasant sensations, at other times unpleasant. We are taught not to judge these sensations, or to have preference, aversion, or craving for any of them. Rather, we are to observe them as equal. Or as the teachings protest, "equanimously". Easy right?? Well, the truth is, the practice is so simple. You just sit in silence with your eyes closed and observe...that's it! Most people will find that in practice, it is just that simple. However, it requires a tremendous amount of diligence, patience, and discipline to practice properly.

What is the ultimate goal? What is the point of it all?

The ultimate goal is Nirvana, or "Nibana" in Pali. Enlightenment. Complete dissolution of the ego. What would the world look like without egos?? People would argue that egos are a natural part of human existence. Noone could deny that nearly every human being on the planet has an ego, some larger than others, and that the influence of the ego on our planet is immeasurable. But let us suppose for a minute that people did not live their lives day in and day out serving their egos, inflating them, suffering with them, and wearing them like a thick cloud, or a filter around themselves. What if we could remove hatred, animosity, greed, envy, fear, and lust from our lives? Would we become flat, emotionless, and unproductive? Or would we live in a state of peace, harmony, and objectivity; A state of being free and unrestricted by the limits of the human mind?

Ok, get to the point Scott...here's where my Chapter 1 really begins.

The past two years, especially the last year, were extremely hard on me. As you know, I bought a house and I compulsively worked on project after project...it's my curse and blessing wrapped into one. I was constantly exerting pressure on myself to finish things and to do them "the right way". I learned an incredible amount, and accomplished more than I ever thought possible. It did take it's toll on me though! The house projects, in combination with the chaos of work - huge caseload, disorganization, and an unskilled ETF, culminated in the most stressful time in my life. By mid school year, I hardly knew which way way up and which way was down, I just ran on autopilot. It was hard for me to enjoy nearly anything in my life. I delved into meditation, and spent time with my best friends who are also my spiritual brothers and sisters, searching for answers. I haven't got it all figured out, but I'm getting on the right track. Around mid-year, my RTW trip was beginning to look like an escape from the madness of my life...but I soon realized that I couldn't just run away from it all, that it would follow me. So I set out to work on myself for the remainder of the year, and reminded myself that the trip was about slowing down and living. I improved over the rest of the year, but still by the start of summer I was a mess. My final days in Boston were a whirlwind of responsibilities and stresses. I could hardly even appreciate the love and well wishes from my friends as I departed. My trip started off with a feeling of freedom and liberation, knowing that I'd taken the first step on a long and important journey. I hooked up with a couple from France on "Craigslist rideshare" who were driving up to Montreal, my first stop. They turned out to be quality people and so I couldn't help but invite them over for dinner and drinks at my friend's place that night.

3 days until meditation would begin.

I set off for my meditation course at the Vipassana Center some 2 hrs from Montreal. I had signed up months ago (because of demand) to sit as a student for a 10-day course, and 13 more days as a server, immediately following. The first 10 days I sat as a student for 10 hrs of daily meditations, in silence. I'd done a ten-day Vipassana course before, and I think my cockiness about being an "experienced" meditator got the better of me. Day one was alright, but by day 3, I was feeling the burn. I was beginning to wonder, "What the hell did I get myself into??" And that's when the reality of it hit me, just like last year when I did this. This is no easy ride. No matter, I signed up for this and I know whats good for me! Time to buckle down and get into it. Wait, I'm staying at the center for 22 days!! SHIT! Nevermind, back to work.

By day 5 or 6, I began to really feel the benefits of my inner dissection. Waves of ideas and emotions washed over me...some of which were not pleasant . Sitting for hours at a time on a little cushion on the floor with no back support can get preeeeetty uncomfortable. Sometime around day 6 is when the hour of "strong determination" begins, in which you sit competely still for 1 hour. THats when the stabbing pains in the knees, hips, and upper back begin...when you can feel the heat wash over your face and sweat drip down your brow as you grit and bear the pain. I know, it sounds like torture, but I swear to you it is one of the most rewarding feelings to sit through them. It's also said that this is when many of the deep-seated "sankharas" come to the surface as pain, and then are shed off as you observe them and let them pass. it truly is remarkable to witness the kind of pain you feel without reacting to it, and to see it just drift away. As the practice calls for, maintaining equinimity is all that matters. Any sensations you feel, whether pleasant or unpleasant, are experienced equally, with no preference for either. Yes, much easier said than done, but in meditation that's the only yard stick with which to measure one's progress. 10 days of practice gave me a good kick start, but much work still remained. I spent the next 2 days at the center helping to run a one day course for students. After the course, I decided to take on the role of "Mr. Fix-it". I started repairing sinks, windows, doors, and showers. Most of them were things I'd noticed during my tenure as student - thats what 10 days of silence does...you start noticing things that ordinarily get a pass.

Then the next 10 day course was to begin, in which I would be a "server". Being a server means that you cook, clean, organize, and look after the 120+ students who are there for the course. As it turns out, the service was MUCH more demanding than I had imagined. We worked our asses off day in and day out, and meditated together in the hall 3 hours per day. We also had daily meetings with the head teacher. Around the 2nd day of service, it was beginning to lok like there were too many hands in the kitchen, so I set off to do projects again. By the 4th day, I had people coming to me several times a day with one thing or another to fix. Meanwhile, I was trying to build room dividers and privacy curtains for the Male servers quarters. I had the project designed and halfway finished before an "administrator" came back from a week off and told me not to do it during the course...this proved to be a great challenge for me. I had been there busting my ass getting shit done, while also making sure that the kitchen did not need me, and this guy comes along and pulls the rug out from under me with no explanation. I took it hard, and I observed how much it affected me for the afternoon. I spoke with the head teacher about it. He leveled with me, and we sorted out a resolution. The following day, the "administrator" came to me and asked to speak privately. I went to his office and he apologized for his approach and for hurting me. I took responsibility for my part in not communicating with him about the project. It felt great to come to a resolution like this. It ended peacefully, with no grudges or hard feelings. It was a big lesson for me to have this experience. To realize first-hand what it is like to communicate openly, with egos set aside, in the workplace. The result was greater efficiency on both sides, and mutual respect and understanding. Throughout the remainder of my ten days of service, I continued working on projects and in the kitchen, and developed some great friendships with the other servers. It was so great to be in the company of others on the same path, and to feel the freedom to be open and loving to others, with little fear of judgment from others. The daily stresses of working on a multitude of tasks, and interacting with countless people, also presented me with a challenge. I would feel the stress and pressure mounting inside of me as I worked...it felt so familiar...only this time, I was learning to feel it, without judgment, and without trying to make it go away. Slowly, I was learning the art of self-observation and acceptance for what IS. This observation, combined with 3 hours of daily meditations, really helped to create a more solid foundation for my spiritual self. It also inspired me to continue progressing on my path and dedication to meditation. it opened the door for me to take part in other courses throughout the world on my trip.

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