Another Top 10 List

---

Three long years have passed since my last big trip, to Spain with stops in Paris & Amsterdam, and what I've learned is that three years is far too long to wait to travel . . . and I'm not talking a "vacation" or a long weekend out to B.C. or even a lost weekend in Vegas. I mean honest-to-goodness travel that expands your mind, your horizons, your perspectives, and if you must, your wallet.

So three weeks from now as I sit on a jet flying over the Atlantic (hopefully next to somebody who lists personal hygiene in their top 10 important things in life), thinking about the five weeks ahead of me in England and Greece, I will probably be contemplating the following deep, thought-provoking topics that most world travelers find weigh heavy on their minds:
(1) Will I get run over in London if I step off a corner whilst thinking that a car is coming in the "right" direction?
(2) Will I be able to use my prowess and convince a guard at Buckingham Palace to make out with me while on duty and, of course, wearing the big, furry hat?
(3) Will Jeff hump my leg, and the legs of every other human in a 10-metre radius of him, after he has a few rye & cokes?
(4) Will I get stuck in the vortex of the traffic circle near Big Ben/Parliament a la the Griswolds in National Lampoon's (. . . and if the traffic circle is anything like the one that encompasses the Arc du Triomphe in Paris, I say yes!)
(5) Will Kate have a glass of red wine waiting for me upon my arrival in Chester?
(6) Will I remember to ask for the "toileta" and not the "meros" when in Greece (shout out to my sis, Roula!) . . . and in addition, how much will my "Gringlish" show, wherein no Greek person will possibly have a hope in hell of understanding what I'm saying because, as we've been telling our parents for years . . . "these are not real Greek words; you made them up!!!!"
(7) How much porridge can I possibly eat in Greece? If that's all I'm fed while there, I am a happy, happy girl!
(8) How many times will I be asked (insert a Greek lady's accent here, along with radical hand motions) "why aren't you married?" (If anybody would like to place bets on this one, I'll give you 3:1 odds that the number will be close to triple digits!)
(9) Will God shine a light on me and make sure that I do not see one single freaking snake in Greece, and that if a snake is thinking of coming near me, a man with an axe will be close behind to ensure that it is chopped into a million little pieces?
(10) Will I actually close my eyes, plug my nose, and force myself to eat an olive (perhaps after half a bottle of ouzo and three-quarters of a pack of the harshest cigarettes known to man)?

Ahhhh, what fun we'll have!! Now I just need to pick away at my "to do" list for the next three weeks before the mind expansion begins!!

---