5 months in

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Well I seem to start all of my entries this way but I am sorry for not writing for over two weeks. I realized yesterday that I have officially been in Istanbul for five months but in some ways it feels like I just came yesterday. I found myself thinking about why I came here, what I had hoped to get out of Istanbul, and what I have actually accomplished. It kind of seems like a mixed bag from where I am sitting right now. I initially came because I wanted to learn Turkish (which I really could have done anywhere in the country). The other reason I came is because when I had come the time before I had really liked the city and wanted to explore it more. Well I have spent the last 5 months exploring this one city, and while I have definitely seen more than most Turkish people living here, I am still perplexed. I have completely improved my Turkish which is not great but I understand most things now and I can speak like a child - which is better than it was five months ago. I have seen almost every neighborhood intimately except G.O. Paşa, Eyup, several places in Asia, and a few other places on the far south end of the city. Right now I am feeling a little antsy because I have been in one place for such a long time but at the same time I can really see my improvement and the changes in myself as a person. I am currently planning on leaving in about two or three months to go to the south. I have been saving up money so that I can stay as long as possible there, hopefully through the summer.

In some ways I am really disappointed with myself that I got sucked into this city for so long because my original plan was to come here for two months and then go straight to the Southeast. However I have really gotten the opportunity to become a native of this incredible. city. I will never actually be a native but by knowing what it means to be one but still keeping a spectators distance I can hopefully understand the city better. I have seen a lot but the one thing that keeps coming back to me is the phenomenal wealth gap that exists here. I speak to my friends both Turkish and international about this regularly because I find it so fascinating. I was talking with Leyla about it today at work and she told me here experience speaking with her father on Skype the night before. He was telling her how lucky she was because she was able to live in this beautiful and amazing city. She on the other hand was trying to explain to him how everything in this city and especially how people view this city is based entirely on money. When you are a tourist is natural that you see this city as wonderful because you see the sites in Sultanhamet, you may walk up along the Bosphorus or along Istiklal Street, but you stay in the wealthier parts of town. You only eat in more expensive restaurants and don’t see the poverty or the depression. If you are wealthy you can drive your own car, take a taxi, or have driver to get around. You can stay in neighborhoods like Nişantaşı, Bebek, and Cihangir; eat in expensive Europeanized restaurants; and never see how people struggle to get by. If you are middle class or lower you can really have a hard time in this city - it just swallows you up.

Yes I know this is more or less the same in all countries but what amazes me is the difference between Istanbul and the rest of the cities and towns in Turkey. I know I haven’t seen the country in a year and a half and I was a tourist then but there is such a huge difference. Even people I speak to who were born in other places and move here for work say this: the poverty of Istanbul will never remotely be on the same level as the poverty in country. Yes people are poor in the rest of Turkey and yes there are really wealthy people in the country but money is not nearly so essential there. If you have it you have a much easier life but if you don’t you can still get by and comfortably. Here if you have no money you can barely survive. I don’t want to sound as if I am idealizing the country because it is definitely not easy to grow up impoverished no matter where you do happen to grow up. I do however want to stress how important money is in this city and how it will never be nearly as important in the rest of Turkey as it is in Istanbul. Not even n the other large cities like Ankara, Izmir, or Antalya. Anyhow, I am sure I will write more about this subject when I start heading out of town. I will be going to Izmir with Hatice for Bayram in December so we will see what I have to say about that city. I will also upload some photos soon, both of Izmir and of Istanbul. I will write again soon (at least sooner than I did last time). I hope you are all doing well and keep reading!

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