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Published: June 14th 2012
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Istanbul
The Ayasofia and the city skyline. Got to Istanbul a few days ago and found it to be the most awesome city I'd ever been to. If anyone asks me what makes it so awesome, I would have no answer. I can't pick anything specific about it. Everything is just...right. The food, the people, the sights, the bars...
After spending a few days in Istanbul, I checked with other travelers that I met in the city and it seemed that the next logical destination is the ancient city of Ephesus. To get there, I would need to take a 12 hour bus ride south from Istanbul to Selcuk. I'm no stranger to long bus rides having taken many in South America and New Zealand but I was a little apprehensive about this one. Everybody said not to worry. The buses here are really comfortable. There's AC. You get your own personal entertainment system on the back of the seat in front of you, just like on a plane. The seats recline way back, better than on a plane! And there's free Wi-Fi. Wi-Fi! I can sit on a bus for days if there's free Wi-Fi. My friend Kenji sent me a link to a website that lets me watch all the movies and TV shows for free. I figured I can catch up on my favorite show, The Borgias. It's about a corrupted Pope during the Renaissance. It has a lot of violence and nudity. But I like it for the dialogue.
I got to the bus station at 10:30pm. The bus was supposed to leave at 10:45pm but we didn't get going until 11:30pm. Normally, I would get really agitated with that, but I was okay this time because there would be Wi-Fi! We started rolling and I couldn't find anything to connect to on my laptop. Asked the bus attendant (or whatever they're called) and he said the Wi-Fi is not working. That was the worst news I'd gotten all year. I felt like crying! I checked the entertainment system in front of me and there were 8 TV channels and a few movies, all in Turkish. Even the titles were in Turkish so I didn't know what movies they were. Crap! What was I going to do the whole time? It was too dark to read. I popped a couple pills of melatonin to knock myself out. That normally does the trick. I tried to put the seat back and it only reclined a little. Shit! What else can go wrong? I started to hyperventilate because it was so hot. So I called the bus attendant again and asked him what's up with the AC. He told me some old lady was getting cold so they had to turn it down. I don't think it was down. I think it was completely off because it was blowing out hot air. When it rains, it pours! I wouldn't have minded a literal pour then. At least it would be a bit cooler. The melatonin wasn't working.
Chatted with the guy next to me. I forgot his name. I think it was Mohamed or Ali. Everybody here is either named Mohamed or Ali. (It's kind of like in Vietnam where every other person is a Nguyen.) I'll just refer to him as Ali since it's shorter. He was a nice enough fellow until he asked me what religion I was. I told him I don't have one. He looked startled and said he is Muslim and asked me if he gives me a book that proves the power of God would I read it. I said no. He seemed really disappointed about it and kept trying to get me to agree to read the book. I kept telling him no so he finally dropped it.
He then told me about the hammams here, which is a communal bath house, kind of like a spa. People go there to bathe and get massages. He told me he recently had a massage at a hammam. He said the guy that gave him the massage was a bit "heavy handed" but he gave an excellent massage. He was grabbing his body all over when he was telling the story, showing me how the masseur handled him. And he had a blissful look on his face the whole time he was doing it. I wondered if he was gay. I don't know if liking to get massaged by a man is an indicator for gayness. My friend Marcus likes to get his massages done by a man. He said it helps his body recover better after long hikes. And he's not gay. At least I don't think so. Now that I think about it, I did hear that he likes to kiss men when he's drunk. One night he got plastered and kissed another friend, Florian, on the mouth. The next day they both had the herpes on their lips. Not quite sure which one of them gave it to the other.
Ali then suggested that I go to a hammam to get a massage. I asked him if I can get massaged by a woman there. I don't like to get massaged by a man or a heavy handed person. I don't really like to get pressed down on when I'm getting a massage. I just like the masseuse to put oil on my back and rub gently. I like that sensation. Marcus once told me that there's a kind of massage where a woman oils you up and gets naked and massages you with her whole body. That's more like my kind of massage. Ali said that it's a cultural and religious thing that men and women go to separate hammams and get massages from people of their own sex. I told him I'm not interested to go to a hammam then.
Ali then asked if I had any interest in visiting him at his house. I thought it was a very friendly offer but figured if I go he would just try to convert me to Islam or try to convince me to go to hammams and get rubbed down by men. I declined. I don't like it when people try to convert me. I had an ex-girlfriend who tried to convert me into a vegetarian. She said I eat too much meat and it makes my farts really stinky. I told her that that's my identity. Everybody knows me as the guy whose farts really stink. If my farts don't stink anymore, I would have an identity crisis. I think that's why it didn't work out. Because of the converting issue.
Ali seemed a little disappointed but not long after that he drifted off to sleep. My melatonin still wasn't working. I was hot, bored, and my back and neck were crazy sore! If that wasn't bad enough, Ali's head started to drift towards me. It was almost on my shoulder. I wasn't liking that one bit. I gave him a little nudge. He woke up and readjusted himself. But it kept happening every few minutes. Head tilt, nudge, readjustment. After a while, he went into deeper sleep and wasn't responding to my nudges. At one point, I nudged him for about 10 minutes without a response. His head was only a couple of inches from my shoulder and I could feel his breath on me. I get grossed out when people breathe on me. So shoved his head the other way with my hand. It swung that way, but it didn't stay there. It swung back like a pendulum and the momentum pushed it into the side of my headrest. He woke up startled and looked around all surprised. A little boy on the other side of the aisle saw and cracked up. Ali looked confused but just closed his eyes and went right back to sleep.
The bus made a stop somewhere and some people got off. I found two empty seats next to each other and moved there. First good thing that happened to me all night. The melatonin started to kick in and I was able to get a little sleep. We got to Selcuk at 8am which was a blessing. I don't know how we got there 3 hours ahead of schedule but I didn't complain. Checked into Attila's Getaway which was amazing! It was like a cross between a summer camp and a resort. The rooms were cabin-like. There was a pool in the middle of the cabins with a hammock hanging close by. I had breakfast and fell asleep by the pool. Things were finally looking up!
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