A Spider in the kitchen and a superhero with a secret

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The morning started in an odd fashion.

Yours truly was feeling a bit fluish. So Kris being the champ he is decided to take it upon himself to cook up some eggs for breakfast.

This was to preceed a rather odd event.
Read on.....

I layed in bed thinking of what amazing concocution Kris was preparing (would it be the omelete of the century? eggs benedict? or something untill this time unknown to man). I waited in anticipation looking at the peeling paint on our 4 by 4 metre dogbox room.

I heard a faint murmur from the kitchen 'Kahleed what should I do about this'? It seems that Kris had burned the crap out of the oil and managed to set it alight. This sent our friend Kahled into the most grotesque mental tailspin I have ever witnessed. He pretty much lost all control of his tenuous grip of the english language. His eyes grew to about three times the size of his head and all we could get out of him was erratic, ridged movements of his limbs and the following sentances as he proceeded to pace up and down the hallway running his hand through his hair and looking with mortal dispair at the now blackened pan
'ohhh; problem me now manager speak; you speak manager me problem'
a quick look at the irretrevablely black pan and
'argh; problem pan black; me speak manager'

and so on and so forth as me and Kris stood in a bit of a daze while Kahled whirlwinded around us.

The upshot was we offered him some cash, which evedently wasnt enough to replace the 35 year old pan and we pulled the pin. Feeling a touch guilty about leaving him in such a horribly distressed manner, but well the pan had seen more dinners than than Barney Gumble has drunk Duffs and we had to get on our way.

So we hammered it out of Beruit on our way back to Batroun to pay a visit to the Superhero. The traffic was delightfully crazy and I had a bit of fun weaving in and out of the paths of buses, trucks, cars, and other motorised contraptions. Its a bit of fun to try and weave in and out of all this mass of slow moving traffic with the trailer of death attached, I only wish I had a pair of fuzy dice on my flag.

We met Saed at a cafe (after I had two bloddy punctures along the way) picked up Kris's now partly repaired front wheel and went to Saed's place.

We took tea and biscuits on the verandah and proceeded with sparkling, champaign conversation.
Until Saeds eyes narrowed a touch, they glanced sideways to check that the verandah door was closed, his face tensed just a little bit and he leaned forward to get closer to us.
In a whispered voice he uttered
'can we talk like men'
anticipating something we both leaned in for it, nodding in unison
'I like to watch'
'I like the spanking. I like to watch girls spank each other, I like lots of things like this'
wholly sh-t the conversation took on a hillarious 90 degree turn and over the next half hour our Superhero proceeded to unveil all his sexual fantasies and secrets.

He enquried of clubs in Australia were this activity coult be echanged for dollars. When we said there were such things he enquired about the costs of visiting Australia.


In a matter of minutes this diminuative forty something out of work accountant (but part time superhero) had revealled something that we truly werent expecting. But something that shouldnt have been truly unexpected. Who knows what our neighbours, acquantences, collegues hold close to their chest???!

So the Superhero had reavelled his secret. What a pisser!!!!

It was dark by now and we had to get digs. Saed said his place was full so we checked into a hotel (damn $50 US a night).

Got some food went to sleep feeling pretty average.

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