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Well well well…look who it is.
I know….I know it been a while since I have written a blog, and I know many of you have asked me to update it on several occasions, but I had things to do. Sure I don’t remember what those things were but they were important, let me tell you. Since it has been more then 7 months since my last blog I will be writing a two-parter dubbed.. “what I have been up to over the last 7 months”, a controversial exposé that covers the trials and tribulations of my life up to this point.
For those of you who have never lived with more then 8 people in a single room, you have much to learn about your fellow man. For when one exists in environments most feel are restricted to those of the Gulags of the former Soviet Union, you realize that you can now happily live anywhere on this planet. Playing games such as, “name that smell”, “where did all this mold come from?” and everyone’s favourite “whose taking whom to the hospital with infected bed bug bites?” can really get you prepared for a day when you may
find yourselves out on the streets. But living in a long-term hostel in Edinburgh wasn’t all-bad, for I did learn some very valuable life lessons. For did you know that having several inches of clothing and trash on your floor can act as an excellent insulator against the cold?…I thought not.
August 25th 2009
With more than 9 months without hitting a single ski run, I was frankly getting a little depressed about the whole situation. That was until my friend Ben mentioned a little known hill just outside of Edinburgh. Midlothian Snow sports Center was a ski slope with a difference…that difference being it didn’t have a single ounce of snow. Covered with plastic interlocking diamonds, this slick surface somehow managed to closely mimic that of real snow. Even more impressive was that the worse the weather became the better the material reacted to your skies, making it ideal for the rainforest of Scotland, ie Edinburgh
With my first visit to this ski hill, I hilariously decided to bring along my friends who had not only never skied before, but far more comically, had only seen snow when they got off the plane in the UK.
This was the golden ticket for an amazing day filled with great crashes and even a ‘yard sale’* or two. I even ended up falling a few times as I quickly discovered that this material contained all the elements of snow but one, the ability to catch your edge, which when properly used allows one to stop. This Achilles heel was first discovered when I went face first into a padded wall and 20kms an hour.
(*verb: def. To fall so hard, as to pepper your clothing/equipment/body parts over a significant portion of the hill)
The Edinburgh Festival
For little over a month each ‘summer’* Edinburgh turns itself into the greatest, though sadly, one of the most expensive cities in all of the UK. Similar in many ways to the Just For Laughs comedy festival in Montreal, this world recognized event houses not only the works of hundreds of comedians, but also some of the most entertaining shows on earth. Most astonishingly, many of these performances are actually free and are performed several times a week at hundreds of venues all across the city. By the first day of the festival, every street in the city became
clogged with thousands of people from around the world. Obviously the recession did little to hamper these people and every bar and restaurant became inundated, despite the fact that prices had mysteriously gone up overnight. Buskers also arrived in droves to put on street performances that ranged from illusions and side show acts, all the way to one individual I witnessed having a dance off with a vacuum cleaner. Though several acts were nothing special, there were many performances that were nothing short of spectacular.
The first and most well known is the Edinburgh Tattoo. Now this has nothing to do with Harley Davidsons and men and women covered from head to toe in ink and leather, and all to do with military bands from around the world. Word on the street when I first arrived in Edinburgh was that each and every ticket for this show was sold out, not something I wanted to hear when every person of Scottish origin told me that I had to see it. Luckily for me the average person who attended this show was born somewhere around the time of prohibition. Now why would that matter you may ask? Well people in
that age bracket often get sick and when they do a ticket magically appears in a scalper’s hand. So after 30 minutes of searching on opening night, I found myself front row center, having spent only 5 pounds more then the tickets original price…. not bad, not bad at all. The show itself was amazing and brought with it the best of the best in military band musicians. Not only were there hundreds of bagpipers from around Scotland, but also drummer from the Netherlands and military marching bands from Switzerland. Obviously someone forgot to inform China that it was a military Tattoo as they brought drama students who performed there show on stilts with wooden horses around their waists…interesting yes…but frankly I felt it would place a little too much attention on you in battle.
The other show, and frankly the best show I have ever seen, was an internationally renowned performance called Tao. Using the art of Taiko drumming these men and women played every kind of drum imaginable, even my favourite, the 20 foot tall war drum. These drums even when hit lightly would resonate throughout the whole auditorium, and make a sound you would never forget.
I have frankly never seen better professional drummers in my life, playing for more then an hour often as fast as humanly possibly… All in all, it was amazing
September 28th, 2009
After little over 9 months working behind the bar at Dirty Dicks pub on Rose street, I arrived to my final shift. I had mixed feelings about my time behind the bar, but overall I found it to be an great experience, despite the fact that my friends had woken me up on countless occasions, as they heard me calling out in my sleep, asking no one in particular what they would like to drink. Combining this with the fact that I still wake up thinking I have essays to turn in at Guelph University, and it would seem that therapy would make an excellent investment. But however I felt about my time at DD’s, the owner was sure to make my last day unforgettable. With my manager Helen also retiring from the bar the same day, the owners decided to close the bar early and have a ‘lock in’, just for the staff. Now my fellow bartenders, and even the Chefs were not what I
would call tea totlers, yet despite this fact the owners stilled proclaimed “drink whatever you want”, backing this statement by pouring my friend Reupert a triple Port Ellen Whisky. Now for those of you not up to snuff with your whiskeys, a single ounce of Port Ellen is 15 pounds!, making a triple worth 90$ Canadian! As long as you swear to keep this a secret, the staff and myself were no strangers to drinking behind the bar. Sadly…well not really, it made some of the most insanely busy nights I have seen at any bar tolerable for us…especially when you did not stop for more then 30 seconds over a 14 hour shift. Now just incase this gets back to Russell, WE ALWAYS PAID FOR THE DRINKS!, but on this night we could finally drink in the open in view of all the camera's, making whatever combos came into our heads… This was my golden ticket and Russell the owner was to be our Willy Wanka… but unlike Charley and the Chocolate factory we all woke to very hazy memories and a hangover that is up there with some of the worst I have experienced, but god was it
worth it.
Well that’s all I want to write for now
So Catch ya on the flip side
*(Oxford dictionary defines an Edinburgh Summer as a season which sees an increase in precipitation, coupled with a decrease in warmth😉
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