(There's) Always Something There to Remind Me

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December 31st 2016

Published: January 9th 2017

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John Miranda

Crystal

......practicing her George Vancouver pose from the last blog

Life goes full circle. We have another year of travel under our belts, but at this time of the year we almost always revert to our roots. I didn't really manage to pack in that many trips this year, but I console myself with the ventures to the obscurities of Kosovo and Transnistria. They were never in the atlas I poured over when I was a kid. A shade over 12 months ago to the day, I wrote a blog about homecoming of a sort. I remain in many respects as far away as ever, but it is never far from my thoughts. The soundtrack of Sandie Shaw plays in my mind. I sit in the same pub. I chew the fat with the same friends. What has happened in the respective worlds of Montreal, the East Midlands, southern Spain and Paris are up for discussion. There is talk of the tennis world in Spain being turned upside down by recent results. Sea coal features, but more of that later. The poetry of Linton Kwesi Johnson crops up - watch out for a new paper on the subject. It could even feature a credit to the Vista Research Centre, just to

Saltburn

Surf is up.....The North East Premier Surf Resort

give students of Jamaican dub poetry a bit of a challenge. Linton seems to have more in common with the hinterlands of Teesside than he would think - the grocer's daughter from Grantham seemed to have it in for us too! Brexit gets more than a mention. It is often perceived as one way traffic inbound into the UK, but everybody else around the table apart from myself and the Other Half have made their lives in foreign lands. What problems, if any, will a hard Brexit bring for them in 2017? How much further can the £ sterling collapse against other major currencies? As we prepared to join the "Common Market" at Christmas 1972, was there as much optimism about joining as there is pessimism about leaving? We will possibly never know. Reality returns with a bizarrely early call for "Last Orders". How very un-continental in a bar with a pseudo continental name! I'll call it a bar. A pub it is not!

The weather has been bright and breezy this festive season and the North East Premier Seaside Resort has looked just that. The crowds have flocked in, keen to walk off over indulgence in

Saltburn Pier

turkey. Despite a calorie excess, many cannot resist a good fish and chip meal. The Man from Montreal admitted he was seriously tempted in the interests of research, despite having already eaten a lunch. The extended premises in the White Elephant are doing brisk business in both restaurant and takeaway. A healthy queue has formed on the bottom prom for both. The "new" upstairs was full. Indeed, another queue had formed at the new competitor along past the pier. A small dog of my acquaintance investigates both as she passes in the interests of her belly, if possible, and keeping the town tidy. The surf is up and the numbers out on the water show testament to the quality of the waves. A fleet of camper vans has descended on town to take advantage of the days off work. Competition for suitable parking spaces for the said vehicles will be fierce and for those with different tastes, a boutique hotel now awaits. Hawaii it is not, but we cannot be far away from renaming to Premier Surf Resort. The bungalow halfway up Saltburn Bank is being transformed into Burnsyde Beach Cottage or something similar - the ideal location to check

The Alex

the swell from your bedroom rather than your camper van. The luxury will no doubt come at a price. Saltburn - the new Croyde? A sign in the window proclaims the photos of the transformation are available on Instagram for your inspection.

The town hit national television this year with the screening on ITV of Joanne Froggatt (of Downton Abbey fame) in the mini-series, "Dark Angel". In the minds of the location crew, Saltburn doubles as 19th Century Seaham and the Ship Inn is transformed. The serial killer central character is seen regularly returning home to "Seaham" and walking the golden sands towards the pier. Ms Froggatt, in character of course, was also featured having a "good time" underneath the said pier. The chill in the air today would have rendered that an unwise move! The TV series might have had a rather gruesome storyline - mass murder by arsenic poisoning - but any publicity is good publicity, as they say! A quick glance at a search engine suggests plenty looking to follow in the footsteps for a brisk walk on the sands or perhaps that "good time".

The golden sands were mingled with

Saltburn House

black gold today. Sea coal was once a regular occurrence, washed down from the waste of the pits further north in County Durham. We had reminisced in the pub the night before of lorries out on the beach collecting the stuff and of cones of newspapers being filled to provide a cheap source of heat. There would little demand now without the once common open coal fires. The dog looked suspiciously at the substance under her feet. Where has he brought me to now? It had been a hectic few days for my 4 legged friend, but with a consolation that she made another 2 social media appearances on the Non League Dogs’ website. Check her out. Crystal. Norfolk Terrier. Football fan. A dog who won't chase a ball on the beach is transformed and completely transfixed, once inside a football ground. It is possibly just as well that she would be banned at Awesome Park or she would be sound asleep with the Aitor tactics on offer. Boxing Day and she kept up her 100% record of never having seen Guisborough Town lose or Marske United win! In fact, she is still waiting to see Marske score a goal!

Saltburn Railway Station

Attendance 384 plus 3 Non League Dogs. In the previous week, she had got far too close to some Toyota airbags, had an unscheduled trip in an ambulance and become the star of the show at the Emergency Department of Pontefract Hospital. Crystal is content this week to visit her favourite places - the meadow under the viaduct, the woods, the Italian Gardens, the beach and if she is really lucky a trip to Camfields! Illy coffee for her is not the attraction. She has reunited with playmate, Willow, enjoyed a long walk with the Man from Montreal and even made an out of season appearance at the Beechwood Cricket Academy. How that tree has grown!

There is another new development on the bottom prom and we are not talking mini-golf here. The new chalets have been unveiled. Red. Yellow. Blue. The tardis like structures are an exterior of plastic weatherboard but, from the description of the developer, seem to offer cavernous accommodation complete with all amenities within. I remain somewhat confused about the leasing and renting terms, but regardless it is a sign of the town being on the up. The former chalets at the Hazelgrove

The Zetland

end seemed to slip quietly into oblivion on a mudslide of boulder clay. The bungalow above Camfields renovated. Brockley Hall now a boutique hotel. The signs were all positive. I was pleased to see that the missing roof sections on Marine Parade had been replaced. However the two executive flats in The Alex were still up for grabs - one with a killer view - shame about the price. The "window" now draws the focus of the eye on the front of the building. The story has featured on a “tour” of Saltburn and is hopefully still remembered in the far north of Canada. I still remember it as a hotel. Manchester United used to stay there if they had need to visit the old Ayresome Park and trained on the beach. George Best and Bobby Charlton on the beach. Can you imagine it? Ibrahimovic or Pogba would no doubt insist on the removal of all stones before they set foot down there. What would they make of sea coal dirtying their boots?

It was the festive season, so alcohol planning featured. We collectively decided against a New Year’s Eve session and agreed on an afternoon /

Saltburn Pier

early evening the day before. As a big city dweller of many years standing, I have become used to wandering out to find a fairly regular bus to the required destination. This appears to be an alien concept in a less urban environment. The situation was compounded by a Saturday service being in operation. We tracked down a bus and duly caught it for the princely sum of £2.50 single fare. I was looking for value for money here, so instead of getting off directly at The Ship we stayed on and went up the bank into town. Saltburn Bank fools many a car driver, so I was keen to experience how the Arriva bus tackled the 2^nd bend. There was a viral video doing the rounds that shows the said bus racing up in snow, when other less confident souls were floundering. It was a shame that the windows of the bus were so dirty, making it difficult to tell exactly where you were.

We walked back down to The Ship. It was evident that money from the above TV production had been pocketed by the brewery. There was no sign of any reinvestment inside the

Yarnbombers

pub. We relocated to the new pub in town – the Guns Bar – which has borrowed the name of the old drinking establishment located underneath the Milton Street end of the Zetland. I would like to draw a comparison, but was never brave enough to venture into the old version. The new Guns was aimed at a more upmarket section of the drinking community. Craft ales were the order of the day. The street level of the bar was quite compact, but the new venture had expanded into the basement of the former Northern Lights premises. There was talk of one of the rooms being converted into a small cinema. A member of the group with an over active imagination envisaged East Europeans chained to radiators in the same space, but we’ll move on from that one! In amongst a conversation that concentrated on the old days, I secured a literary proof reader. Fees to be discussed on top of the initial purchase of a pint. Can I afford a man who has written a novel? It remains to be seen whether this will see a return to the literary levels, once achieved in Diable Rouge – that former

Saltburn

The North East Premier Surf Resort

monthly publication on all things Belgian football, now sadly only available to intrepid investigators and collectors of football fanzines.

We wandered off into the early evening, some to secure fish and chips, some to make excuses to the cat why they had drunk so many glasses of wine and others to ponder the strength of the Blue Moon!

Appendix 1

Ebac Northern League Division 1

Monday 26 December 2016

Venue: GER Stadium, Mount Pleasant, Marske, North Yourkshire

Marske United FC 0 - 1 Guisborough Town FC