Like The Deserts Miss The Rain

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Driving across the Mojave Desert approaching the Nevada state boundary in the early 1990s, I never figured that I would have the same level of anticipation driving across the Lincolnshire Wolds 30 years later. Las Vegas is the gambling capital of the world. The neon lights of the city would soon appear, rising from the desert floor in a bid to capture your attention and more importantly, your money. At the southern extremity of The Strip - just to the west of the old McCarran Airfield (now apparently the Harry Reid International Airport) - sits the "world famous" Welcome to Las Vegas sign. "Welcome to Fabulous Las Vega, Nevada". The ultimate piece of neon design was installed in May 1959. A lady called Betty Willis, an employee of Western Electric Displays, came up with the design and it has been on lease to the local Clark County, Nevada ever since. This area of Las Vegas is officially in Paradise.

Fast forward 3 decades. We head east from Lincoln on a bright, sunny morning. The weather is unseasonably mild. The BBC weatherman says there is a dip in the jet stream. Warm air is flooding up from the Continent. The temperatures will allegedly hit 20 degrees. The roads start to deviate from their straight and narrow course, as the Wolds appear. We skirt their southern fringe. I note some very competitive fuel pricing at the village of Partney and make a mental note for our return. The road forks near Orby and I take the more northerly branch. It is a popular route. The local residents are crying out for a bypass. Placards line every part of the village to repeat the message to anyone who cares to listen. We are now approaching the soon to be world famous Welcome to Skeg Vegas sign. " Welcome to Fabulous Skeg Vegas, Not in Nevada".

The Lincolnshire model is not of the 1959 vintage. The replica size copy with the same font and the all important neon was added to the roadside in the summer of 2022. This version is the brainchild of the Skegness Raceway at the Marsh Lane Stadium. There was no Western Electric Displays this time. RD Signs of Sheffield installed the Skeg Vegas copy of the original at a cost of £36,000. The "design" in 2022 is according to the people behind the Raceway to put a smile on people's faces. It certainly does. The reverse of the sign bears the usual "Drive Carefully. Come Back Soon". This area of the greater Skegness area has never been known as Paradise, but it just perhaps it might be in future.

Skegness is taking all the credit, but the management at Skegness Raceway deserve all the applause. Their location is effectively just off the main road leading into town and Marsh Lane is more of a direct route to neighbouring resorts, Ingoldmills and Chapel St Leonards. There are many who will be now taking that slight detour to see the sign, of which quite a few will have been unaware of the existence of Skegness Raceway or certainly, the location. The location will now be broadcast by thousands, who record their visit on Instagram or other social media. Priceless advertising, at a time when all businesses need to save a few quid. The residents of Orby might not be amused by the additional traffic and therefore in the minority who are unhappy with marketing coup. After our own individual photo shoot - Vera needed her snaps too - we pressed on down the road.

The road from the Skeg Vegas sign leads firstly to Ingoldmills and then onwards towards Skegness itself. Ingoldmills is a tiny village with a big place in UK seaside history. It was here in 1936 that Billy Butlin opened his first holiday camp. He went on to open others around the UK, of which only this one and those at Minehead and Bognor Regis remain. He came up with the idea apparently, after an unhappy experience he had on a childhood holiday in Barry, South Wales. The Butlins empire in Ingoldmills was joined in 1955 by rival, Fantasy Island. Fantasy Island competes March to November with 30+ rides and an indoor market. Butlins is a year round complex and does a roaring trade in what you could define as retro weekends for adults. Drink to excess. Relive your youth. Forget about the heating bills. Butlins Skegness has a vast array of live events coming up in 2023. Absolute 80s, We Love the 70s, 90s Reloaded, Festival of the 60s. If you were wondering what happened to or whether they can still hack it amongst the Bay City Rollers, David Essex, Heaven 17, Fine Young Canibals, Go West, The Real Thing, the answers are all to be found in Skegness early in 2023. Book early to avoid disappointment, as they say. A number of the kids in the East Midlands were on an extended 2 week half term, so the village seemed remarkably quiet. There were clusters waiting for a bus to go into Skegness, but no visible congestion in any of the car parks. My eye was taken bg the sheer volume of caravan parks either side of the road. Row upon row of static caravans, as far as the eye could see. It was time to what Skeg Vegas had to offer.

I go on record at this point by saying that we are naturally biased towards the sea and by association, the seaside resort. We were both born and grew up in one and despite spending a quarter of a century living about as far as it is possible from the coast of England, it is never far from our thoughts. We miss it like the deserts miss the rain. It was never by choice that we left, but employment prospects and simple economics can focus the mind. The Conservative Party hadn't yet invented the myth of "Levelling Up". At that point, they hadn't worked out what figure to daub on a red campaign bus to make Brexit seem a great idea either! In fact now that economic necessity no longer drives our world, seldom a week goes by that relocation back to the coast isn't a topic of conversation. The Other Half would call that a serious understatement. We head into Skegness by a slightly diverted route. Roman Bank was closed off due to roadworks, but fortunately led us to a copius supply of on street parking without the need to hunt down a car park space. Skegness was once the domain of the 9th Earl of Scarborough. The diminishing returns on the area around the fishing and farming village prompted him to release land to speculators, all with a keen eye on exploiting the new leisure and holiday time available to the working classes of the East Midlands. The development of the railways coincided. The railway arrived in 1873. The pier was added in 1881. The boom arrived in the 1890s and the decade and a half leading up to the First World War.

We set off to walk along the northern promenade towards the town centre. The old Town Hall was all locked up and closed down. I subsequently note it has now been sold to a local businessman, but the details on its ultimate destiny remain at best unclear. The tide was high and the beach was limited at this point. Business looked slow at the Natureland Seal Sanctuary. The boundary is described on a map as the "Castle Ruins". The medieval nature of the old walls looked extremely doubtful with a construction daye more likely in the 1960s or 70s. The new kid on the block can be seen offshore. 75 wind turbines lie 5 miles from the beach, installed at an estimated cost towards £1 billion. The turbines have a planned lifespan of 40 years and will provide jobs from the maintenance depot at Grimsby. Whether cheaper electric bills will materialise for the masses from such projects, is another matter.

Skegness Pier headed out towards the turbines - just not very far. At the time of construction, it was the 4th longest pier in the UK at 562 metres. In Victorian times, size of your pier really mattered and admission charges were the order of the day. Day trips by steamer would take punters from Skeg across to Norfolk. I suspect it would remain the speediest way to reach Norfolk - the roads leave a lot to be desired in these parts. The current structure is a mere 118 metres. Storm damage and drifting ships have taken their toll. It arguably looks shorter. On the southern side, the sand level is high and only the last few pylons towards the water's edge are raised to any degree. The sand on northern side seems of a much more agreeable texture. South of the pier, the large flat expanse seems artificial - like a platform of building sand. I am sure that it is ideal for families with room to spread out, but it would no doubt raise a few eyebrows if it won a Beach of the Year contest. The pier does a good number on self promotion. The advertising sums it up neatly. "Skegness Pier. What A Great Idea", the sign pronounces. Whilst the pier seems to stretch only the 118 metres, the pier approach must be at least double. The approach houses a multitude of ways to spend your money. Captain Kids Adventure World. Skegness Bowl. If the adults are thirsty, there is the Hollywood Bar. If that is not sufficient, the Pier Beach Bar could be more your taste. I have to admit I wasn't expecting Camel Racing, but it is also an option. One thing that Skegness is not short of is tattoo parlours. The pier's contribution to inking is Skeggy Dave's emporium. Skeggy Dave offers the full range..... custom, traditional, bold, fine line, oriental, lettering, black and grey. Something for everyone. If it was a decision in haste, cover ups and fix ups complete the menu.

Skegness Pier is a very small area compared to the expanse of fun just opposite. The Pleasure Beach opened originally in 1927. It was once owned by Butlins earlier in it's existence, but has been under the stewardship of Bottons since 1965 "providing all the fun and thrills of the traditional funfair". The park offers anything from simple dodgems to the Big Apple rollercoaster .... well it does, if you are taller than 1.1 metres. A number of rides have height restrictions for safety. It ain't cheap though .... in peak summer season, a day pass wristband will set you back £25.

A Skegness icon sits in the traffic island at the intersection of Grand Parade and Lumley Road. The Clock Tower was added here in 1899 to mark the Diamond Jubilee of Queen Victoria. Further along the Parade is the Embassy Theatre. It was built as the Plaza in 1926, but reinvented as the Embassy Theatre and rebuilt following storm damage in 1978. It had another makeover in 1999. The Embassy describes itself as the East Coast's premier live entertainment venue. Butlins, with their retro weekends might dispute the claim, but for the capacity of the venue it punches above its weight in attracting artists. Retro is big in Skegness, so lined up for 2023 are a number of tribute shows. If you are looking for the originals, Showaddywaddy are in town in May. Oh and the double of John Cooper Clarke is serving in a record shop half way up High Street.

We crossed away from the seafront. The former hotel with a mock tudor frontage in a prime location opposite was now forging a living as the Three Monkeys Bar. A quick internet research mission suggests it should perhaps not be confused with the business operating under the same name on "the dark side of Pattaya" or indeed the sandwich bars in Lancashire. The Grosvenor House Hotel in which it is based comes up on a search as "permanently closed". I guess nobody will be treading the boards in what was the Imperial Ballroom anytime soon? A modest establishment a few doors down is still offering accommodation with a snappy slogan if the "difference is quality. Why settled for less". The vacancy sign was not illuminated, so I guess people staying beyond the day were not settling for less. Around the corner off Scarborough Avenue is the Tower Gardens, which are currently enjoying a new lease of life. The Tower Gardens opened in 1878, but has been rescued from oblivion in a total makeover in the last few years. A good job too.

It was time for food. We were at the coast, so the obvious choice was fish and chips. There was a time when Friday night was a trip to the shop on the corner of the terrace, as a cheap feed for the family. It is no longer the case and the dish has become somewhat of a luxury in recent years. I therefore resent paying top price for rubbish. We are used to "proper" chip shops at home - none of these all things to all men versions selling kebabs as well as your haddock or cod. Surely, there would be a decent venue here in Skeg given the proximity to Grimsby? There was indeed. A plentiful selection sprung up on the Tripadvisor page - most with a decent selection of reviews. We opted for the local Papas on Lumley Road near the Clock Tower. Papas has been on the go since 1966, but have now expanded beyond their Hull base. They have a restaurant and a takeaway here in Skeg, but as we had Vera with us we were restricted to the outdoor tables. It turned out to an excellent choice. The "special" of haddock, chips and mushy peas way exceeded expectations. A short delay on the service can sometimes frustrate some, but was well explained and it proved they were cooking the fish to order. In summary, it was good. We would have no hesitation in making a return visit. You can't say fairer than that!

We started the day at what might become a symbol of Skegness in the future - the Skeg Vegas sign. We end at another - the Jolly Fisherman statue. Well both the Jolly Fisherman. The Jolly Fisherman was originally depicted in an advertisement, commissioned by the Great Northern Railway in 1908. The painting earned John Hassall the princely sum of 12 guineas and appeared with the line, "Skegness Is So Bracing". Hassall had never actually been to Skegness at the time he conjured up the image. We found two statues on our walk. A large version with his suitcase sits out front of the Railway Station to greet the trippers. A smaller, more iconic version as seen in the original poster, danced around in the sun by the Grand Parade. The weather ironically wasn't bracing at all today - it could have been mid-summer.

In the fullness of time, both the Jolly Fisherman and the Skeg Vegas sign could become the joint symbols of the town. The words "Not in Nevada" will trip off the tongue, in the same way as "So Bracing".

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Photos

Skegness
Papas - Haddock, Chips & Mushy Peas

Skegness
Jolly Fisherman Statue

Skegness
Pleasure Beach

Skegness
Jolly Fisherman Statue in front of the Railway Station

Skegness
The Clock Tower

Skegness
Tower Gardens

Skegness
Jolly Fisherman Statue

Skegness
Old Town Hall

Comments

[Rainyb]

ahhhhhh wind farm!

[Rainyb]

Loved it. Thanks for sharing!'