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June 26th 2011
Published: June 26th 2011
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Ok, so this is the beginning of my great adventure. I fly at 6.45am tomorrow - which means 4am wake-up. All i have to say is ergh.

I have spent the last few weeks in various phases of denial, sadness, excitement, apprehension and/or terror and now that my departure date is practically here - my overriding feeling is that everything was too abrupt. 4 days ago i was in Durham, carrying on as normal - even working the bar (a 14hr shift has never felt so long) and since then everything has passed in a flash.

I barely remember packing - probably because my small army of helpers took care of most of that and my nan, mum, herm and annabel probably all deserve a mention for that. I love you all. The goodbyes were an intensely emotional experience which i really hadn't been expecting. I thought people would be blase - just a hug and a have a great trip but there were real tears and emotion which made physically leaving and getting in the car just that bit harder. I then made some very unladylike snorting noises during my small cryfest immediately after departure, my grandad looked minorly startled in the front seat.

Home was lovely. The polish lady who blew at my *** during my bikini was appt was slightly alarming but other than that i was a content bunny. No time to annoy anyone or vice versa so i think everyone, including myself was slightly more peturbed by my imminent departure than they would have been in +7 days. A few more days would have been handt though - my mindset matches my post perm hair - frazzled and a bit kooky. As usual i have no idea what is going on - but i haven't really had time to collect myself and gather my thoughts or make one of the little lists i love. There was enough time for 2 separate 1hr episodes of You've been Framed though - fantastic - when are they bringing out a box set?

These last few days make me feel capable of imparting a few words of advice

1) Never pack alone - you can wander off and do something minorly irrelevant and maintain a steady denial of the fact that you will shortly be leaving for an extended period of time whilst someone else does the boring 'pick up clothing, place in suitcase, readjust, add more, fit in random shoe stuff. '

2) If your breasts are a DD or larger don't bikini shop on the high street unless you exude confidence - i have never tried on so many 16's in my life - the 12 was dangerously similar to a nipple tassle and side boob is never attractive.

3) Once your children are mostly grown - get a pond - this seems to occupy my parents for most sundays of their life - my mother is weirdly attached to the fish/ weed. (Mama - Listen to Rob and get rid of more of it!)

Thats about it. I'm terrified that as of tomorrow my french has to leave the classroom for the first time in ages. Actually since a french exchange age 15 when i fell in crush with a boy called Nick - no idea why now - got accidentally drunk at a wine tasting and embarassed myself fully in front of my vintage car enthusiast host family by falling over in their shower, grazing my chin, cutting my knee and trashing their bathroom - which caused untold damage to the shower head - unsurprising as that i believe was the perpetrator of my huge purple and green upper thigh bruise which took ages to disappear ( i tried to use it to rescue myself - unfortunately nothing to hold on to in a wet shower cubicle).

Anyway sorry for the ramble. I'll try and keep it more concise next time. Off i go!!!

P.S Having a bet with self that my employer /airport picker upper tomorrow is slightly overweight, late 30's /early 40's, brown hair and has a messy car - no idea why this is my mental image. Does anyone get a different vibe out of the name Fabien Cecchini?

Love to you all xxxxxxxxx


5th July 2011

DD's? Nice. Sideboob? Nice.

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