Saving Souls

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“I had always felt that the Devon School came into existence the day I entered it, was vibrantly real while I was a student there and then blinked out like a candle the day I left.”
-- John Knowles, A Separate Peace

For “Devon School”, read “Zurich Professional” and the “Aloha Camps” and you might have a sense of what I was feeling this weekend.

On Friday, I went into the City to have drinks with some of the ZPro crew as one of our alumni was in town. We had a lovely evening laughing about the old days and telling stories of the times we were less than professional. I had chats with the people who were there about what was happening, both in the company and in the market. I found myself oddly removed and disinterested. Not in the people, but in the environment in which they found themselves.

On Saturday, I went up to Manchester to attend a reunion for the Aloha Camps. Keeping in mind that it has been thirty years since I was involved with them, I wasn’t sure what to expect. For those of you who know me, it might shock you to discover that I am extremely shy. It is hell for me to walk into a room where I don’t know anyone and strike up a conversation with a stranger. My friend Laura is brilliant at it - I’ve always envied her ability to it.

But, enter the room I did and within seconds had met people and, I do believe, made some new friends. They were thrilled that I could talk about the old days; I was thrilled that they could tell me what was happening now. We laughed, told stories and (of course) sang camp songs. Amazingly, I remembered most of the words. The mind is a wonderful thing.

On the train ride home today, I was thinking about the difference between the two experiences. (I had a lot of time to think. British Rail was up to its usual tricks, so it took me seven hours to get home!)

I loved ZPro - after all, it was my baby. I had helped to take it from an idea on a piece of paper and build it into a substantial company. I have made dozens of friends from all over the world. No matter what I do next or where life takes me, I will always know that I can build a company from nothing.

I loved the camps. They were where I learned how to sail, how to build a fire, how to drink coffee, how to smoke. It was also the place that I fell in love for the first time in my life. Camp was the first place that I had responsibility for other peoples’ lives and I learned how to teach - still among my favourite things to do.

But, there is now one fundamental difference. My very first boss in the insurance industry was a woman called Flora (who, bless her, subscribes to this blog so is STILL supporting me 22 years later). I remember sitting in her office one day in tears because something had gone horribly wrong (I have no idea now what it was). She leaned across her desk, took my hand in hers and said, “Chris. This is only insurance. We are not saving souls and we are not saving lives.” I’ve never forgotten it. I’ve had a great run in the insurance industry, have worked incredibly hard and been extraordinarily successful. But in what? I’ve made money and I’ve made friends, but I have not saved souls and I have not saved lives.

At camp, however, I was able to change people - both myself and others. I have learned and taught the joy of being in a boat under full sail. I have learned and taught the joy of sleeping outside during a Vermont moonless night, when the stars are so close you can touch them. I have learned and taught that the only thing to be afraid of is not trying.

So, the realisation hit me hard. I think the insurance industry has truly “blinked out like a candle”, at least for me. In the next incarnation of my professional life, I will need to find something that allows me to save souls. Because, no one lay on his deathbed thinking, "I wish I had spent more time in the office."

PS - this is my 50th entry for this blog. Thanks to you all for the support, suggestions and good wishes. I love doing it and am glad that some of you love reading it.

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