London and the Good Luck Coma � 26th August – 3rd September 2011

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Saturday 3rd, September

So here we are in sunny, yes I said it, sunny ol’ London! The last few days have been beautiful! I think I may have actually gotten sunburnt today, but then again a high wattage light globe has the capacity to do that…

Flight to London was… well… boring! After going nonstop this was the first extended period of time that I have been by myself and I wanted to be entertained!! To give you some indication as to the extent of my boredom here are some of the excerpts from the conversation I was having with Henry the HP laptop during the flight:



3 HOURS TO LONDON!!!!!

Why do they feed us so much on long haul flights… more importantly why do I keep eating it?!

BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED!

It is currently minus 23 degrees Celsius outside… that is cold…

We are currently flying over Kiev… I like kievs… nom nom nom

I spilled Pepsi all over my socks, I mean ALL over my socks, and it wasn’t even diet Pepsi cos they ran out of diet Pepsi so my socks are going to be sticky… I’m going to have to clear customs with sticky socks.

It is impossible to travel for more than 5 hours without smelling like a Yeti… this is a fact.

I think the chick sitting next to me is a vegan and is disapproving of my pringles… it isn’t going to stop me from eating them…

Yeah so I was bored… any who I survived the flight and double win at Heathrow: not only did my UK passport work (no stamp tho boo!) but… UNKY WAS THERE ON THE RIGHT DAY! Hurrah!!! Hee hee (:

I spend the first few days catching up with my Unky Wunky and the beautiful Hilary! Which mainly involved them trying to keep me awake during the day (jetlag was NOT kind to me) and spending vast quantities of time at the Royal Hunt and Forrester’s, two fine typically British establishments… both of which have already learned what I drink… oops (: and generally chilling out for a few days!

Phil has been chauffeuring me around everywhere like a good little Unky helping to get everything set up for the ‘new life’ in London and been an amazing help. All of them are trying to fatten me up with some amazing dinners… seriously best Yorkshire Pud’s ever Hilary!

I have been warmly welcomed into the local pub as during my first experience watching a soccer (sorry can’t call it ‘football’ just yet!) game, Man U v Arsenal… the result was an unheard of 8/2 victory to Man U… apparently now I’m a good luck charm and can’t go anywhere (:

Phil, Chris and I headed down to Windsor for the afternoon which was lovely, checked out a couple of pubs (I swear more has been happening… but we do spend an incredible amount of time in the pubs… they are just so pretty, old and cool dammit!). Had a bit of a look around the Eton College area which despite the description by a passing tourist that it is nothing but a “special school that has something to do with the queen”, is pretty much the most exclusive school around and very quickly reminded us of our social standing (:

Now I’m not sure if I was a monk in a past life, if I somehow switched karma with someone or if the universe has just decided to cut me a freaking break, but the most amazing things have been happening on this trip, so many in fact that it has left me wondering if I have actually hit my head and am in a coma in Perth somewhere and this is all just a dream…

First of all having the time of my life in Thailand, meeting amazing people there, creating unforgettable memories, having the great fortune to have such generous family who welcome me into their home and lives, as well as help me get organised AND take the time to show me around town … and then there have been the last few days which blew my mind…

So my favourite W’s, Jen and Katie, stopped over in London for a few nights and I went up to see them, we didn’t have many plans but the girls tell me that we have booked dinner with their Uncle ‘Big John’ and his wife Cathy (apologies if spelt with a K… guaranteed whichever one I chose it would be wrong!). So we meet up with them in… yup you guessed it, the pub! Now I had already been warned that these people were possibly the nicest people you would meet, understatement of the year! They were the sweetest people, so warm and friendly! You know some people you meet and instantly like? The meanest most cynical puppy kicking douchebag couldn’t say a mean thing about these guys, just lovely!

After a couple of drinks we headed to Chez Gardens in Covent Gardens… one of the nicest restaurants in London and it did not disappoint! The meals were delicious and we actually had more wine than we could drink (well, that isn’t entirely true… there was a lot… but we didn’t leave any). I finally got the chance to have decent snails and really liked them… and then got to tick something off my Europe list! I got to try truffle!! It was on top of possibly the yummiest steak I have ever eaten in my life and I pretty much went into a happy food coma. We didn’t stop chatting all night and at some point we brought up how every time we went out we would somehow wind up at karaoke… well Big John disappears for a moment with his mobile… then comes back to announce that he was reserved a private booth at a karaoke bar for us.. and the DRIVER was waiting downstairs to take us!

Yup starting pinching myself right about now… gourmet food, amazing people, karaoke… DRIVER?!?! Nope can’t be happening! But yes off we go as Charlie the driver takes us to an amazing karaoke bar. Not only do we have a private booth… but there are props! Wigs, hats and wait for it… a tambourine! This may not sound too exciting to you, but trust me… everything is better when there is a tambourine involved. Oh and if this couldn’t get ANY better… the booth has a ‘thirsty’ button, which means you need a drink and you need it now, ninja style service delivering beautiful champagne straight to our booth of awesomeness! I think that everywhere should have a thirsty button… everywhere… So we sing the night away topping off an absolutely brilliant evening!

The next day we are feeling a wee bit sorry for ourselves and can’t really do much more than stare blankly at the TV… admittedly there was some pretty addictive soaps on, we do a quick shop run for hangover supplies and resume the carpet picnic… until it’s time to get glammed up again… now we needed to get glammed up as we were heading somewhere very special… somewhere not many people can get into and for the life of me I don’t know how I ended up so incredibly fortunate to be one of the people…

There is a building in London that is lovingly referred to as ‘The Gherkin’… it is the huge glass building near the Tower Bridge and looks… well like a Gherkin… not sure..? Google it, you’ll know it (: So the observation deck of this building is only open to club members and guests… and it just so happens that Big John is a club member and takes us up there for cocktails!!!! Yup are you starting to understand the coma theory? You can’t just go up there or make a reservation, I’m so unbelievable lucky and grateful for this! After running around like a child taking pictures and video’s I sat down to join the others who were sipping glasses of Bollinger Champagne (and yes they did have to explain to me this was a good thing hee hee, certainly not the Yellow or clean skins I’m used to! I kept calling it Bolognaise…) and take in the breathtaking 360 view.

After a little while the waitress comes over to advise us… that our table is ready for dinner… this is pretty much when I internally lose my shit and convince myself that yup, sorry Em you are well and truly in coma land and just hoping the doctors aren’t doing weird things to my feet or calling dibs on my major organs. I contain myself until I get to the bathroom then jump around and scream my head off with excitement.

The restaurant is one level down from the top and looks over the Big Ben/London Eye side and this place is so fancy there aren’t even prices on the menu… if you have to ask then apparently you should just discreetly leave the building and head down to the local Nandos… not that there is anything wrong with Nandos… but you get the point

Master Chef eat your heart out! To begin with we have a BLT… doesn’t sound too fancy? Well it is when it is presented in, well I guess only way to put it is in ‘desert form.’ The tomato is jelly, bacon is a crème, and the lettuce is a sauce drizzled over the top! But they all taste right! It was so freaky but just divine! Then pig on toast for stater which was totally drool worthy and then pigeon with escargot garlic risotto for main… yup I had snails two days in a row! Hee hee (: Then a cheese platter for desert which we were too stuffed to any more than stare longingly at. With a different bottle of wine to suit each course, including desert wine, we were gobsmacked, stuffed and happily sloshed! One more bottle of Bollinger back up the top of the Gherkin we decided to call it a night as really… could it get any better? After an amusing photo session and hilarious taxi ride home we hit the hay. Thank you thank you thank you Big John not only for an amazing, divine, out of this world dinner, but more for a truly amazing experience that I never expected in my wildest dream!

After a very slow and sorry morning we had to check out… FYI it takes three hung over chicks exactly four hours to get showered and pack… and somehow lose a hotel room remote along the way… bloody mary’s and a pub meal took the edge off a little but we couldn’t really do much but stare blankly at the table… I think Jen read the Tube map for about 35 minutes…. And then it was time for ANOTHER BLOODY GOODBYE!!! So I can now add Earls Court Tube station to one of the public venues I have bawled my eyes out at. I love my Jennifew and it really sucked saying bye, thank you so much for a brilliant couple of days and the dinner was amazing, you really are so generous and a beautiful person, don’t be too sad you know I’ll be back… who else will stare creepily across the office at you? Katie… please don’t kill me in Dublin… if this was a preview then I am in trouble!!!

Back to Ascot to Unky’s house we go! Darling Hilary comes to get me and confirms the notion that I am officially the worst backpacker in the entire history off travelling… as she picks me up in her convertible with the roof down (: I am a lucky lucky LUCKY girl!!! The off to the Hunt for a few pints and to watch the soccer… Phil and I may have almost gotten into a fight with a prat who stole Phil’s chair… but it was worth it to hear the term “Silly Old Git” used in a proper disagreement, seriously even the arguments over here are so darn polite! But we behaved ourselves…. (:

We went to the British Airways open day today, which again with my coma luck was brilliant timing as they haven’t done this before! We went inside the A380 which, by the way, if you aren’t sure what to get me for Christmas, one of these would totally fit under the tree! It was a beautiful day again and we got to see the type of plane that my Grandad used to work on, go into the cockpit (hee hee) and a crash course (bad taste?) in Plane Flying 101. They had some amazing stands telling you how they repair the hulls, what happens during lightning strikes, saw all the uniforms through the airline history (some interesting choices there…) and how your sense of taste and smell is different at 30,000 feet… weird but fascinating! The first class seats are so amazing I could quite happily live in there, actually I would quite happily live in the business class seats… do you think they would notice…? Anyway a big nerd day but we thoroughly enjoyed it!

Tonight we are hoping to see the hedgehogs that are living in the garden… if no pictures show up of these then it confirms that Hilary has been holding out on her stash… (:

So that sums up the last few days, I'm stupidly happy! I think happiness resides in your ass and thighs because i've already outgrown one pair of jeans in the pursuit of joy (:

Now just have to organise an interview to get a UK version of Tax File Number… I keep forgetting the name… not a good start… anyway, get that done so I can start contributing to this fine country, but first… looking forward to Dublin shenanigans with Miss Katie! Sorry in advance liver… (:



Thanks for reading y'all!

Em xox

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