Wherever I may wander..there's no place like home...thank f***

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So arrived back in Blighty...to the freezing cold...
last few days in California were great..managed to ruch straight from the Apple Store to Pixar to get a tour thanks to my good mate Paul Topolos.had a neat vodka on the veranda outside the main office Sully and Mike looked on disapprovingly..looked forward to returning to my three pints a week alcoholic intake back in UK...spent the day in Petaluma..one time home to Winona Ryder and Peggy Sue got Married and American Graffiti..had eggs, sausage and maple syruped corn cakes for breakfast...the Americans aren;t too fussy mixing their courses on to one plate.....watched Flaghs of our Fathers on my final night in USA very fitting...couldn't help thinking 'Iwo Jima' would have been a better title..I used to have that photo on my wall at Uni always knowing it was potentially staged but not knowing till watching the film how or why...part of the reason I left photography in the first place...Propoganda on a small level is still propoganda..you tell me the dfiference between doctored photos in Stalinist Russia and I'll show you an identical one in 'home of democracy' USA..anyway my last experience was getting on the coach and feeling like I'd had an adventure..the guy who drove the coach summed up what I felt of the Americans I met..genuinely nice, helpful as my old teacher Mr Stapleton would say "Eh..98%!o(MISSING)f you are honest, good, reliable young men...." he handed out timteables, asked if we anybody needed to stop, turned the air conditioning down as some people were getting too hot all this at 3am..a long flight later...watched Taladega nights..the ballad of Ricky Bobby..in between sleeping had wanted to watch Dead Man's Chest but got f***** off with the remote control that worked the screen above my food tray..progress...what's the point in hacing 20 films to watch..if the effing remote control doesn;t work...anyway tried to sleep..after the stewardess tried valiantly to keep me awake by smashing her cart into my shoulder every five minutes...briefly wondered if I could get arrested on attempted hijacking if I repeatedly beat her about the head with a paperback version of 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'..thought better of it and tried to sleep again...first experience back in blighty was b****** London Transport...the effing bus driver wouldn;t let me pay him on the bus and when I went to buy a ticke that took me all of twenty seconds the b****** drove offf.."Welcome to Britain..." I thought..b*****s...so I waited anotehr twenty minutes for the next bus got on and lo and behold two hundred yards later this f***** turfed everybody off the bus... w*****s..third time lucky I got home. can't complain too much as I had a quarter and 5p in my pocket when i entered the country and managed to jump the Gatwick express to Charing Cross before finally going to the bank...oh yes I can withdraw money with consumate ease in Barclays Bank Soho Square..you try doing that at Barclays Investment Bank in San Francisco..."I don't care if this is a corporate office and you don't hold any money here...I'm goddamn hungry..."...didn't feel too guilty as i helped a Danish Mother and Daughter getting to Russle Square...considered making a note of Karma points awarded and used on my adventure but realised I'd be in as much debt Karmally (is that a word..if not it should be like glarishness...) as I am financially...nah..I reckon I struck even...al that change to the homeless in San Francisco evened up the balance..
At the time of writing I'm on my way to my mates Ste and Susan's house to spend a night on the floor in a house with no heating (as the boilers getting fixed.there.) the reason the small matter of the goddamn police stakeout back home as they watch the bank next door..the police that is waiting for it to be robbed..didn;t fancy a night of SWAT, STAKEOUT and HEAT rolled into one as armed officers patrolled outside our flat..So what can i say I owe a huge thank you to Steve (formerly known as 'Moocha') and his now wife January (now known as Mrs Moocha) for inviting me to their wedding in the first place...my old friends Andy and Jo for letting me ride with them to Santa Barbara..and more old friends Mark and Michelle for letting me kip on their floor last night in Santa Barbara...my new mates Tim, Matt, Gemma and Caroline for letting me ride with them all the way to Vegas and all the to San Fran and for putting me up and putting up with me..similarly fellow Greek Mr Paul Topolos for the tour round Pixar and letting me crash in Petaluma...and finally thanks to you all..for listening..for reading..for your comments..apart from you Jake..you're a w****r.. I set off to the USA to seek a fortune in Vegas and I came away a richer man..where money doesn;t really matter and friendship does..where richness counts for nothing and happiness counts for everything...I'd like to thank the Zoltan machine for that...I think a trip to Oz is next in the offing...to find a girl I haven't seen for a long, long time..thank you and good night...till teh next time...

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Comments

[Steve M]

Good Times and Gambling
Well Abe it was another quality trip for the memory bank, I finally won something in Vegas after we left you, $15 on a slot machine, in the airport no less, so that would be a net loss of............a f**king lot, oh well it's in dollars anyway so it doesn't count right! Catch you somewhere-sometime-soon. Your friend and financier Steve