And so it begins...

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First stop: Moscow! Wednesday 23rd March

Well technically it was Riga for a stopover to make the flight cheaper, where the plane suddenly changed from shotputters to women adorning themselves with fur and rather scary looking men.
As we arrived late at night we had pre booked a taxi to take us to the hostel. Our driver took us outside to a very snowy -7 and indicated that we should follow him. As we followed him along highways, through alleyways, through dingy car parks and derelict buildings our hearts began to pump; partly due to our packs being laden down with high heels, straighteners, hairdryers and make up but mostly because we were being dramatic and thought it was going to be our end by a member of the KBG...on our very first day!
Having finally got to his car and unsuccessfully dodged a foot deep puddle it was clear he had parked so far away as to not pay for parking. We were presented with a maroon 1980s escort that had have the water removed from the front seat foot-wells before we could set off. As the driver continued to scoop water from the front, Michelle and I sat nervously in the back - not knowing a single word of Russian; well except Spasiba....a word that I only know due to a waxing scene from Sex in the City.
The drive to hostel was a breeze for the driver and all in all he was lovely...all though he did rock out some Blondie for us - certainly not my cup of tea at any time of the day let alone midnight!
On arrival at the Hostel we are presented with a 25 stone Texan who explains about the registration costs; every city you visit in Russia you have to register...clearly a practice from the Soviet days as even the Russians have to do it! Apparently we get a discount as we were doing a tour with a sister company of the hostel....sounded like a con to me so we declined and did some research. It turns out the hostel/hotel sets the price of the registration and it only has to be completed if you are staying at the place for longer than 3 days during the week. CON CON CON. Already paid £76.40 for a visa to get into Russia and then this!!! Bloody cheek!
Lesson 1: Don't go to Russia without speaking Russian and an extensive phrase book.

Day 2 - Moscow! Thursday 24th March

We armed ourselves with thermals, cameras, hiking boots and a map and trepedously stepped outside to the bitter windy Moscow. We get lost. Royally lost and saying anything in English just greets you with a very angry blast of Russian and a signal to bugger off. Four hours later we make it back to the hostel, have to remove all the layers of clothing as the Russians like it hot and have to take a nap!
Second time out we get some advice and realise the Kremlin was 20 mins from our hostel. Kremlin is amazing and Saint Basil's Church looks like a pop up book. Kremlin isn't open so we walk along the river and are greeted with young soldiers. Apparently it is an offence to take photos of the services, that said we sneaked a few of them practicing their drills and leisurely strolled around the city. We then got yelled at by a policemen for trying to cross the road in the wrong place and decided we best go home! Caught with photos of the army, without registration and just being able to repeat Spasiba didn't sound too clever.....when we got back, we bought the registration.

Day 3 - The Vodkatrain Ruski Huski Transiberian tour begins....Friday 25th March

We meet out tour guide Elina who took us to Old town - turns out we could navigate it better than her at points - having spent 4 hours of the previous day lost within it. She takes us to a bar and have a MAHUSIVE shot of local Vodka for 89 Rubles...very very strong. Tooooo strong for me!! I was almost skating home!

Day 4 - Saturday 26th March

We shared a room with the tour group last night - once I'd finally passed out from the smell of boys feet, Ed came in and began to snore. Like a frait train. He also stripped to his underpants and had everything hanging out. Not pretty. Michelle climbed down from the top bunk almost delirious and said she wanted to punch him in the face!
Travelled by tube to the flea markets today and spent ages trying on fur hats. Elina said to haggle but the only one I liked (and the only one that fitted!) the vendor wasn't dropping the price so no hat for me for the Siberian climate. He did offer a cheaper hat to me....it had a tail! Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr NO!
We have an afternoon departure from Moscow train station to Irkustk. When get there it reminds me of some of the scenes from some Nazi films...probably shouldn't have just written that! We enter a 2nd class birth cabin....4 people in a cupboard. The excitement kicks in and we all boast about how "epic" the journey will be. On departure the heating is cranked up to 30+ and everyone strips down to vests and shorts. At station stops we often run outside in flip flops just to cool down. Our neighbours are a Turkish work force and a little Chinese boy who we name "Short Round." Short Round provided plenty of entertainment and took hundreds of photos of us and often came in with a toy guy and knee capped us. It was then we realised he was actually Russian! Michelle all the while saying Pikachoo to him - Japanese! Haha! Dinner: Noodles and crackers.

Day 5 - Sunday 27th March

On the train. Breakfast: Noodles. Lunch: Crackers. Dinner: Noodles and crackers. Snacks: Biscuits. Activities: Cards.

Day 6 - Monday 28th March

On the poxy train. Breakfast: Noodles. Lunch: Crackers. Dinner: Noodles and crackers. Snacks: Biscuits. Activities: Cards. Whiff factor: 5/10

Day 7 - Tuesday 29th March

On the bastard train. Breakfast: Noodles. Lunch: Crackers. Dinner: Noodles and crackers. Snacks: Biscuits. Activities: Cards. Whiff factor: 10/10

Day 8 - Wednesday 30th March

On the f***ing train!! Breakfast: Noodles. Activities: Cards - am now named "Ultimate Transiberian Cheat Champion."
Have MAJOR cabin fever. Absolutely crazy. The couple we are sharing with have provided very little entertainment, possibly saying a maximum of 100 words to each other on a daily basis. My whiff factor is through the roof and you could fry chips in my hair.
Transiberian is meant to be the worlds greatest train journey. It isn't - its horrific! It is called the greatest because it is the longest. I was going crazy!! Then the horrible train attendant wouldn't let us off...he let all the Russians line up to get off but told us we had to stay in our rooms. He had major SMS and I probably pissed him off being British and towering over him. I've also decided I hate people that use the word epic.
Oddly enough all train journeys in Russia are set to Moscow time...so we were gaining hours here and there and our body clocks were all over the place when we finally got off in Irkustk, Siberia. Local time 10am, Moscow time 5am.
We meet our Honcho Lina who transfers us to buy yet another registration and then onto Lake Baikal. The driver was sensational...ice on the roads probably 8-10cm thick and had absolutely no problem until a car was parked in his turning circle by our accomodation and had to drive precariously close to a cliff edge!
I raced to the shower and desperately tried to undo the hobo look. We then walked 4km along Lake Baikal (on the ice!) to do some snow tubing. Walking on the ice was very nerve - wracking...even though you can see 4x4s in the middle of the lake it still went against every feeling I had to be on it.
In the evening we had a traditional Russian Banja - basically an extra hot Sauna where you initially take a break to have a cup of hot herbal tea...no ta! Then you go back in and a crazy man in a woollen hat starts to whip you with what can only be decribed as a bunch of basil leaves and Christmas pines. You are then meant to go jump in the snow. I got whipped in Siberia!

Day 9 - Thursday 31st March

We went Huski sledging today. It was absolutely brilliant. I was pulled about 5k through the snowy woods by 7 dogs who were so excitable and actually couldn't wait to get out and run. Will definitely be doing this again!! The boys got a little drunk today and Ed decided to get naked and run around outside screaming "I'm naked in Siberia!" Wasn't big or pretty.

Day 10 - Friday 1st April

Explored the lake a bit further today and went to see all the tourist crap for sale, we were then transferred back to Irkustk for evening departure to Ulaanbaatar.

Much Love x x

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