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Published: June 25th 2006
Moscow
The first two legs of our journey have been fantastic. To prepare you for a longish entry, we've assembled some key Russian words to help you if you're ever in Moscow. Try to sound out the proper pronunciation for each of the following words using the
link we sent in the previous post:
Russian spelling:
(1) Роял
(2) Стоп
(3) интернет
English pronunciation
(1) Royale. To me more specific, РОЯЛ ЧИЗБХРЕР is pronounced "Royale Cheeseburger." (Sorry, gentlemen, they sell beer, but no porn cheesburgers at the McDonald's in Russia.)
(2) Stop
(3) Internet
Post-Soviet Capitalism & Entrepreneurship
From our vantage point as tourists, it appears that the businesses of Moscow and St. Petersburg have mastered all of the essential elements of capitalism, even if some of the particulars could stand to be polished by American standards. As discussed last time, customer service is still a growth industry, but other areas (such as merchandising, mark-up and mass-production) have been honed to perfection in the sixteen short years since the fall of the Berlin Wall.
For example, around even the most modest attractions there are lines of tables and carts selling unofficial matroishka dolls, bejewelled boxes and t-shirts to help visitors remember their visit. In most places, the commercialism feels almost as pure and overpowering as at San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf. The most-savvy merchants spotted us immediately as Americans and tried to sell us their fine cotton t-shirts. Merchants worldwide seem to know that Americans haven't really been somewhere until they own a t-shirt to prove it.
One particularly-good example of new capitalist enterprise is the "Peterhof" castle of Peter the Great outside of St. Petersburg (the self-described 'Versailles of Russia'). Here, as in most of Russia, foreigners are charged about 10x what locals pay to enter and are charged an additional fee for the right to take pictures. However, they never attempt to get your money all at once. Instead, visitors are enticed upon arrival with beautiful "freebie" fountains that lead up to the first booth collecting admissions/photo pass payments. Afterwards, you're captive inside the gardens where you're charged Disneyland prices to walk through the Disneyland-style fountain displays "inspired by" the original Peter the Great castle. (The entire complex is actually a reconstruction, since the grounds were almost entirely demolished during WWII and then neglected during the Soviet era.) Renaissance-dressed ladies will pose for a picture with you for a few hundred rubles, or you can dress up as Marie Antoinnette yourself in the Russian version of an Old West photo for just 1,200 rubles ($40). The most Disney-esqe aspect of the park is the castle tour, which more-than doubles your park entrance fee and consists of a brief guided stroll through the reconstruction, ending in a vast mall of a gift shop.
As final proof that communism has made room for unvarnished capitalism, the All-Russia Exhibition center in Moscow (a vast fairground built in the 1960s to showcase the bounties of Socialism, similar in scale to the Washington mall in DC) now houses a different type of mall, selling everything from digital cameras to leather jackets and toaster ovens. Several stores even feature the ultra-hip CCCP (USSR) brand label, which seems to be like Levis in America. The only lesson that Russia has left to learn is that the market for all these products would be much larger if they just relaxed a few of the miserable hurdles placed in front of foreigners who attempt to visit.
Russian Hospitality
Upon our arrival in Moscow, we were greeted by old friends we'd never met before. Back in the states, we'd heard that Russians are incredibly generous, welcoming people in spite of their outwardly-stalwart appearance. This certainly appears to be true. Over the past several days, we've been getting a tremendous personalized tour of Moscow from sisters Olga/Anastasia(Nastya) and Alex (Russian friends of one of Steph's friends back home). Although they'd never met us before, they've moved mountains to show us Red Square, introduce us to Georgian (the country not the state) cooking and to get us (significantly underdressed) into arguably the finest restaurant in Russia where we were treated to delicious Borsch & fine wine, and given a personal tour of the premises by a stately concierge. He regaled us with stories of the political guests who'd eaten in our seats (Bill Clinton/Madeleine Albright!) and of the Russian writer, Pushkin, who wrote many of his stories in and about the surrounding area. Since then, we've been treated to an evening out at a hot Moscow nightclub (where we were also significantly underdressed) and a trip to the banya (a classic Russian steam bath house where we were massaged and fanned with palm fronds in a brief bit of relaxation before our Trans-Siberian departure).
To Nastya, Alex and Olga: Thanks so much! You will be missed!
Police, Pictures & Profiling
A word of caution: If you're ever in Russia, resist the urge to take a picture of the unbelieveably-beautiful Soviet-era subway stations . You will be detained, cited and fined immediately, since police/security staff seem to be everywhere. Apparently, photo-fining is seen as an opportunity to get a bit of extra cash from foreigners under the guise of anti-terrorism security. The reasoning is sound, since terrorists could theoretically make diagrams of potential subway targets from such photos -- but the implementation is an obvious scam. The on-the-spot 100 - 1,000 ruble fine is not going to stop terrorists, but it definitely helps to pad the station attendants' paltry salaries. To be honest, I'd be happy to pay a small fee up-front for the right to take subway photos, since the stations are truly works of art devoted to the stolid Soviet worker, but I'd prefer to deal with the law as little as possible. I got off with a relatively-small fine the first time, but the next station attendant might have preferred to fine me 10,000 rubles for the same offense -- and I really wouldn't want to raise a fuss for fear of being stuck trying to defend myself against a false terrorism charge in Russian courts. Sadly, the subways are for eyeballs only. (I was able to get one picture, though. See the photo at left.)
The one thing that Stephanie and I have going for us is that we're bona-fide pale-white Caucasians. The fine described above would likely have been significantly more serious if I had been a bit darker-skinned. Russian police don't seem to be particularly worried about accusations of racial profiling. In the past week, we've seen in-progress document verifications/shakedowns of only six people -- all black or Middle Eastern in appearance. Upon further reflection, we noted that we've only seen about ten such people total since we've been in the country. It may not be a crime to be darker in Moscow/St. Petersburg, but such people do seem to be treated like criminals automatically.
Bears! Bears? Bears??? No Bears 😞
We're now officially experts on the Russian circus. Unfortunately, we have to report that there are no pogo-jumping, tightrope-walking, or even just fish-juggling bears. We went in search of bears first at the State Circus in St. Petersburg and it was likely the most-authentic true-Russian experience that we've had (small-top show, single ring flavored with people sweat and animal stink. No AC). Although we saw a bouncing elephant, a fantastic Russian clown routine set to Britney Spears, and an amazing finale highlighted by tigers rolling about in unison on top of 8' mirrorballs, we saw no bears.
Much to Steph's chagrin, I insisted that I must see bears and so we tried again at the Old Circus in Moscow. Fortunately for me, the Bolshoi, ballet and most theater events are currently in the off-season, so there wasn't much else to choose from (and Steph didn't veto my circus! request). Unfortunately for me, the bears did not come out to play in Moscow either. Instead, we got a delightful mix of aerial acrobatics, prancing/pouncing pomeranians, dancing chimpanzees and, of course, more stupid tiger tricks. But no trick-doing bears. The only bear in the whole circus was the one outside the event that was chained to a toy jeep for our amusement (and for posed pictures). At least we were able to see one bear in Russia.... even if he didn't get shot out of a cannon or sent bouncing back-and-forth across a flaming teeter totter. We left with holes in our souls, aching for bears, but we were smiling the entire time.
We're off on the Trans-Siberian tonight, so we won't be able to type for a couple weeks. Also, future entries may be significantly picture-free, since getting these pictures resized and online has been a multiple-hour headache.
- Stephandel
Moscow
Cost: $3.7 / beer (100 rubles)
Arts & Entertainment: 0.9x San Francisco
Vermin: 1.2x San Francisco
English Proficiency: ~60%!<(MISSING)/i>
Technology: 19 iPods / 4 fake/off-brand iPods
Descriptions of each metric available at:
http://www.stephandel.com/travelog.htm
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Joe Krivan
non-member comment
Bears?!!
Bear country doesn't sound like a cozy place for x-Stanford types but glad youse guys are having a great time. Bit of a heat wave here in SF! have fun! Joe