Back in Europe

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So I have to recap on what the hell happpend to me since the last time I really wrote. I have One half hour, so i'll do the best that i can.

After taking the train to Novsibirsk and getting out without knowing a damn thing, I made my way to a hotel and spent WAY too much money on a crappy little room. A room with a shower was double, so alas another day spelling like myself. I ventured out into the -30C night and found my way to the center square with what I assume was a Lenin statue. I had fast food because to be honest it's all you can possibly afford in Russia. I then found the Internet cafe and attempted to write a few emails, but i got caught up in the coversation around me and got myself (after a few obvious hints) invited out for the night by a group of econ students. Two spoke "english."

We walked a few blocks and paid an enormous cover charge, dropped our coats off and enjoyed the rest of the night. Russian women are what you would expect them to be... cold and gorgeous. But it appears many have taken a liking to Americans, specially Americans who seem to be passing through a not-so-popular tourist destination in South Central Siberia.

The Russian paranoia that I've spoken about I first saw on the train with that boring guy Vlady. He was paranoied about everyone that came into our compartment (from here on in refered to as our kupe). At the bar the group of students I was with seemed very weary to accept the invitation of another group at the bar. They wanted to offer me a vodka or 10 and teach me about real Siberian customs. Again two spoke English. All econ students...

By the time I returned to the original group I learned that they were convinced that the other group wanted to rob me by getting me drunk, asking me if i wanted women, taking my credit card and pin and not showing up again. Appearantly the only way to meet women in this country involves the credit card. Not just prositution either, but real Russian women are said to only go with the very very rich. Or Americans. Same thing.

So after meeting some Italians and getting into their Taxi because we were convinced we had the same hotel (it was about 2 letters off, and about 30 blocks apart from each other) I went to the wrong hotel.

The receptionist tried to assist me in getting another hotel but before they could get me into the cab a Mercedes SUV pulled up, 5 military policemen climbed out and offered me a ride (after searching me for drugs and correct ID). They made it clear I had no choice but to go with them. So we piled in and pulled up to the station where the held me until well past dawn for no particular reason. The searched every inch of my body and threatened to hit me, push me, etc.. all in front of a bunch of other cops. They kept saying FBI? FBI? FBI?

My only defense was to keep repeating that I was going to call my embassy and I kept asking for their ID. Obviously my broken cellphone wasn't good enough.
If any of you Italians know how I can recharge a TIM sim card from the internet please let me know?

Lucas? Mauro?

Sapete ricaricare un telefonino TIM dall'estero?

Allora.

So i made it home around 7 or 8 and finally just slept all day. Was happy not to go outside until my train left the next day at 4.40am MOSCOW time! That's like saying new York time for a bus schedule in Boise. They have to though seeing as they are dealing with 8 times zones on the Trans Siberian.

The train from Novisibirsk down to Kstan was good enough. Only one other person in my kupe instead of 3 others, and we got by on my horrible German, her horrible English, and the now 20 words or so i can ruble i mean mumble in Russian.

All was good until... THE BORDER.

About 24hrs into the Trip we approached the border crossing into the Republic of Kazakhstan. What i didn't know was it was only the first border crossing, as the train snakes in and out for some stupid reason. Citizens of those two countries have no trouble, but it's the rest of us that get screwed. So about 5 or 6 in the mo rning they come down and wake us up. The border guards have come onto the train to check documents, visas, and vacum the acmerican.

And VACUM they did.

Not only was it the most bizarre and surreal experience getting off at some shitty siberian border crossing at 5 in the morning with only a phrase book that says how to say fuck you 4 diffrent times instead of real words that might come up... it was dark and there was a blizzard. You couldn't see more than 3 feet in front of you, and they wanted me to get out of the friggin train.

I spent a little bit of time in the border station, and they were nice enough. They said I couldn't pass through here I needed to go to another border, and they would drive me the 8km to that border.. for 10 Dollars! Fine. What else could I do. i would've paid one hundred.

So they drop me off in front of some guard towers about 8km away and point towards Kazakhstan. Of course I assumed it was Kazakhstan.

It was thankfully, but at this point iwas truly confused. I walked about 2 km to the border where I could get my exit stamp and waited as they inspected my documents. thankfully i had no hassle (except the blizzard outside) and they pointed towards another abyss which they expected me to cross. So I set out. and Out. and OUT.
I walked through the fences, past the trucks waiting to do customs in the morning, past the snow which had piled up between the trucks, down the road and about 1km in, when i STILL DIDN"T SEE THE FRIGGIN BORDER. I then slipped on the ice in my new Mongolian goat hair boots, and fell flat on my back with all my things.

At that point I went back, knocked on the door of the border station, and begged to wait until the blizzard passed.

They took me in, let me put on my long underwear (i was in a jacket, torn jeans, and a tshirt) and gave me coffee. At this point i hadn't lost the phrase book so the various ways to say fuck you came in handy with the male border guards. WE laughed and relaxed until I started pantomining that I wanted to find someone to drive me across to the border, or further. They called a taxi and he wanted $50 to go 2.5KM. I used my phrasebook.

Eventually a three-hundred pound man named Sasha with a BFO beard and BFO stomach offered to drive me across. He had a 1.5L 4 speed Lada. Picture a small civic that has THANKFULLY not been pimped out. Only it's russian, not japanese or wherever civics come from.

It took over 2 hours of pushing, digging, manuevering and weight moving (thankfully there was enough weight to move). We made it through the border, and he drove me onto some small city full of kazaks and dachas.

More on how I found Sara and went to Ridder, and then my train ride across Kazakhstan.

I"m now writing to you from Moscow, where I just arrived a few hours ago and will be staying for at least 3 nights. I'm safe, happy, and surprisingly warm after Monoglia. it's only -3C here!

I've also finally met other backpackers and I think some of us are going to see the Nutcracker in the natinoal theatre tonight off of red Square. I think first I'm going to stop off at MCDonalds and get a big mac and eat it in front of the kremlin and Lenin's tomb. If i do that I'll make sure to spill some fries on the Great Leader.

There really is a MCDonald's right off of Red Square. It's gorgeous. We really did win that cold war didn't we?

Hope it feels like xmas there. It's starting to here i think.

Mwwwaaaaah

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