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Published: November 29th 2008
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33oz
They also had $1 shots of Vodka at the Internet Cafe, but Tara wasn't having it Lisbon (lisboa)
The Portuguese 3 Keys to Eternal Happiness in Life: 1. Soccer 2. Have a good time 3. Soccer
When I was a kid, I loved trains. My father bought me a train set when I was 9 and I played with it all the time. By the time I was 12 I foresaw myself being like the guy in Beatle Juice with his adult train set, but with a hotter wife than Gina Davis. Than Harry Potter movies came along and I fell in love with trains again. I’m 29 years old now….fuck trains. All of em. Every twisty, turny, sickly motion they produced. I’ve found little to enjoy about trains, be it, price, company, food, staff, sleeping arraignments, atmosphere, I’m awaiting my fun train ride.
We got to Lisbon, or as it’s called here, Lisboa, around 8am. I was still drowsy from not being able to sleep the last 13 hours on the train. I know regret not restocking myself with Xanax before coming to Europe. Lisbon’s metro doesn’t really work yet so we took a cab to our hotel. Back in the days we would pay our cab drivers in Tijuana to race the
Sunset Dos
If not back to the castle by sundown, Tara turns into an ogre at sundown. other cabs our friends were in. Comparing those cab drivers to the cab drivers of Lisbon is like comparing Mario Kart to NASCAR. Our cab driver got out of the cab to fight other drivers on two separate occasions, he also made good use of his spit and middle finger, which in Europe is a backwards peace sign accompanied with a shaking fist. He also had a Saddam Hussein mustache that made him seem more fierce and menacing.
The Post Revolution Recovery
Lisbon is heavy on the Roman and Islamic architecture and seems as if it’s a 3rd world country by the look and cleanliness of the city. There are 7 hills of Lisbon and each of them is overwhelmed by houses that look like shanties, which wouldn’t survive a 1.1 on the Richter scale earthquake. From broken roofs to laundry hanging from the windows, you’d think you were in little Brazil. Everything here seems influenced by somewhere else, but it still has it’s own sense of self. I am well aware that it’s actually Portugal who has influenced most places like Brazil, but I saw them first and experienced here second. According to all the reading I
Thieves at Sunset
I'm really glad the guy who took this, didn't steal our camera. It was a 50/50 chance he was going too. did before I got here, Portugal has one of the highest quality of livings in the world and I would say it’s true. People here seem to enjoy what they have here and they seem to enjoy the simple things in life such as mid day conversation, recreation and good food. I especially enjoyed the little old man cafes, where you’d find at least 4-5 old men just standing around smoking and arguing. Just around the corner, you’d find the middle-aged crowd practicing the same tradition. Again I was amazed to find how many kids here in Europe play outside and they play outside a lot. Maybe it’s just my Chico and San Francisco mentality but there are so many kids here, regardless of the weather outside, running a muck and causing mayhem. It’s wonderful to see. I’m sure it comes from having little and making the most out of what you have, but it makes you feel good to see the freedom and happiness that these kids all have just from being outdoors kicking a ball around or climbing a tree. Before Europe, I hadn’t seen that in a long time.
From our hotel window, you can see
Bridge Sunset
Lisbon's Golden Gate the Lisbon skyline and it’s pretty amazing. We have a view of the 3 of the hills and a good look at the Golden Gate Bridge of Lisbon. I’m pretty sure it has another name, but it’s a near dead ringer for the Golden Gate, so we‘ve just called it that. It may even be a bit better, because it never has any traffic cramming it’s lanes and it also holds two metro trains at a time. Take that Golden Gate and your stupid yellow cone system. I’m 99% certain that the fall will kill you should you decide to jump. If you do decide to take your life off a bridge, don’t do it here or in the bay, cause the tuna may eat your remains and then I might eat your remains when I eat the tuna. Is that how you want to spend eternity, in my stomach or colon?
Honey, I’ll Take You To The Hospital Once the Soccer Game is Over and Then You Can Have the Baby
Soccer is the supreme religion here. The Sabbath is any day Christiano Ronaldo of Manchester United is playing and to speak ill of any Portuguese born
Cheap View
This room view costs $50. player, a Portuguese club team or their international team, will earn you a swift angry look. The same kind of look you would get for trying to cut in a California DMV line. No matter what happens here, if football is on, the world stops. It’s like tea time in England. Every place has a TV for soccer. On the seventh day, god created football. On the 8th day, Christiano Ronaldo killed god, took over and everyone started dressing and styling their hair like him. All hail #7.
My 3 favorite things about Lisbon were as follows;
1. It’s November, a week from Turkey/we killed and raped all the Indians day and it’s 80 degrees, clear and beautiful out. It’s like Miami except everyone here has real tits, the crime rate is 92% lower and I’ve only seen one man in a Speedo rollerblading.
2. The ocean water is clear as a freshly wiped window. You can see 4-8 feet down and the ocean is filled with sea life. It’s like a giant, well-kept aquarium that is too good to be real.
3. A liter of Australian malt liquor is only $1 U.S. dollar and it’s delicious.
Ocean Wall
Posters for your wall available before Xmas. See Chris Ganz for details I know it’s only 33oz, but you try finding 33oz of booze in the states for a $1 these days.
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Ganz
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Wow
I fucking spit water all over my monitor when I saw that pic of you posing with the naked woman...holy shit...THAT one needs to be blown up!