LISBON Where old worldy charm abounds

Coffee in a glass
Where on earth did you get the idea that some Aussies disapprove of this practice? It's very common here in Melbourne, and it does not in any way demonstrate a mindnumbing inabilty to select an appropriate vessel for the service of a hot beverage. It must be very sophisticated because they do it in Lygon Street.

Beggars can be choosers
What you might not know is that Portugal is one of the poorest countries in the E.U., and as a consequence, probably has more beggars than other member countries. The standard of living might be cheaper but there's a downside. My advice is to buy yourself a garland of garlic and a crucifix ... Hang on. I think that's only applicable to Transylvania.

the tower is not a tower
the tower ..,wich you depict in the blog is not a tower. it is an elevator. You can take it and enjoy the wonderfull view of lisbon

Travel and Food
Lloyd, I love your descriptions of foods you encounter in your travels. You paint a very vivid picture of tastes and textures that I can almost smell! Yet your decriptions are disarmingly simple. How do you do it? For example, here's how another blogger might describe eating a pizza: 'It's like no other pizza dough I've ever tasted. It's soft and chewy and yielding but incredibly thin. It's a doughy, strong, gummy, yummy, chewy, salty pizza paradise. On top is sweet tomato sauce that foams up all bubbly and creamy when it melts the fresh buffalo mozzarella.' But thankfully you, Lloyd, dispense with such unnecessarily florid descriptions. You simply say 'The pizza was very tasty. Went down a treat!' And that's what I like about your writing style. Very plain. Very stolid. Very straightforward with absolutely no bullshit. Keep on blogging as only you can, Mr Word Smith.

Illness
Lloyd, sorry to hear you're not well and cooped up in your room. This is one of the aspects of travel that unfortunately sometimes happens. You'll recall that ME was laid up on one of his many and frequent visits to Asia not so long ago? Eggs ended up missing his flight. He was a broken egg indeed! You've booked in for several days to your pension so hopefully your illness will pass soon and you'll be able to get on with your travels and your quirky blogging. Keep updating this journal as often as you can. It's a highlight for several of us back in Australia. I'm in Bali right now and I have to tell you that tourist numbers here are at an all time high. Bali tourism is once again running with a full head of steam and appears to have completely recovered from the effects of the bombings a few years ago. Building of new resorts continues apace and there are more swimming pools per square meter here than just about anywhere in the world. I have my own private pool here in my villa. I am trying to lose weight like you Lloyd and I am doing fifty laps a day. My villa also has Wi-Fi direct to my room and I am typing this on my laptop in my lounge room. It’s luxury alright but it doesn’t break the bank. This is one of the reasons why so many Australians flock here. I’m thinking about visiting one of the Bali Nine tomorrow at Kerobokan jail but am still undecided.

Illness
Terry is half right in comparing your situation to The Great Philippines Conjunctivitis Catastrophe, although I was not "laid up", and I did not "miss" my flight. I was completely mobile (though seriously vision-impaired) through the whole experience, and was on time for all three of the flights that I was refused permission to board. My main problem was being effectively trapped (while half-blind) for twelve days in a country I desperately wanted to leave. The real analogy here (this theme will be familiar to you, Lloyd) is with what happened to me when I got home. After about three days I got very sick, which I put down to the fact that my body gave up after having held it together for so long in such a stressful situation. I reckon that's what's happened to you. The bright side of it is that you do get better if you take it easy. On the other hand, if you're still sick after a few days, it might be time to see a doctor.

Blog Becalmed
Lloyd, your blog has suddenly become becalmed. I know you are not well and are bundled up in bed trying to shake the combined effects of cold, asthma and travel exhaustion. Rest is what you need. Make sure you get plenty of it. It’s no fun being sick while travelling, ask ME, who has graciously corrected me in regard to the finer points of his own travel history. Meanwhile, I have arrived safely home today from my Bali trip to good old Melbourne town. Tullamarine airport was the busiest I have ever seen it! Long, snaking queues in the Arrivals area were the order of the day as millions of Melbournians returned from overseas trips at the conclusion of school holidays here in Victoria. Our plane landed at 7:30 am but because there were so many planes coming in we had no gate available so the pilot simply parked the plane somewhere in the middle of the airfield and ordered a movable set of stairs so we could all alight to the tarmac below. Unfortunately moveable stairs were moving like hot cakes and it took more than an hour for an available set to arrive. Most passengers preferring to stand motionless in the (very) crowed aisle during this time clutching their hand luggage. The pilot apologied several times for the delay in getting the movable stairs which he was ‘reliably informed’ us were speedily on the way to our stationary aircraft. Finally, more than one hour after we had landed, a very welcome set of movable stairs finally arrived but sadly then there was a similar problem with the ready availability of transfer busses. None. But this was just a mere taste of things to follow as several arriving jumbo jets disgorged planeload after planeload of tired tourists into the tiny Arrivals wing. In the end, it took four hours from the time the plane touched down until we walked out of the airport to finally queue up one again at the taxi rank in freezing temperatures. Five hour flight from Bali, four hour processing at Tullarmarine! Ah, the joys of travel! Seriously, we here in ‘Comment Corner’ are on tenterhooks not knowing what your health status is, Lloyd. Please update status asp.

Lloyd... I'm concerned. Your Portuguese.. is it up to much? I only ask because... well..... the pregnant beggar. Are you certain that it was simply money that she was after? Was her conversation gently leading you to the question of paternity? Is there any question of this? Any possibility at all? You really must be more careful Lloyd Smith. You may take this advice on any level you wish. And Edgar.... Pah!! You say you were "seriously vision-impaired". Good lord man! Have you not been following the intrepid worldly travels of the one and only, the squinting, tunnel-visioned Smith??? Again, I say to you sir.... Pah!!

Your Photos Are Pixilated
Lloyd, some of your photos are pixilated and cannot be viewed? Not sure what the problem is but it's a shame for crying out very loud. Have you remembered to take the lens cap off while snapping away? Some of your photos work very well indeed. Your castle Jorge photos are particularly interesting yet you don’t mention visiting a castle at all in your blog? Did you actually go there or did you lend your camera to some Japanese tourists for the day? Actually, I was pleased to see a snap of your good self looking suitably pissed in a red T-Shirt. Looks like you have lost some weight, my boy. Keep it up! Must be all that walking and that liquid diet of yours? *smokes pipe* Remember, don't mock the Bock! *puff puff*

Word Count - 7,000
Lloyd, you've clocked up 7,000 words on Lisbon to date. This is well short of your TravelBlog World Record of 10,000 for Agadir. I suspect that you may be a tiny bit blogged out in Lisbon? OK, take a time-out from your blog. Get out there and just do it. No need to tell us your every little frustration in painstakingly sordid detail. Travel is for those who need to travel, not for those who need to sit in Internet Cafes. And yet, oh and yet! I feel that you can still summon up the blood for a 3,000 word final spurt to the finish line. Once you get a full head of steam there'll be no holding you back. Come on Lloyd, you can do it! Now put that glass of Bock down, wrap those fingers around that worn-out, old keyboard and start tapping away...YES! OH YES!

watch your step
Fuck the Kokoda Trail. Why don't they send some of our rough and tough AFL footballers up those mountainous inclines of steps in the pre-season? Guess there wouldn't be enough iron lungs in Portugal to cater for the carnage. I know Portugal has a small population, but where are all the people? Were they filming one of those apocalyptic horror movies set in the future? And as for you looking twenty years younger in one of the photos, admit it, Lloyd; Portugal is the plastic surgery hub of Europe.