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Published: March 31st 2008
Backpack Smooch
Mike, Jenny and "the kids"Here's a riddle for you. What's the one thing that no matter where you travel, what monument you see and how much money you spend, you can never find it. You'll never see it on any map. Every plane trip, boat ride and bus ride takes you further away. Everyone has been there, but it's always a different place.
The answer is home.
No, we didn't return to the glories and spoils of Southern California. Home decided to pay us a little visit along our way. Boy howdy were we ready for it. We had just come from our incredible week in Egypt. (in case you didn't catch our last blog, allow me to summarize: Egypt Sucks.) We were haggard to a level that we've yet to reach on this adventure so far. Not only were we leaving Egypt but arriving in Italy. In all our many travels, we've spent the majority of our time trekking through the third world with the occasional stint through the second. So we were more than ready for the cleanliness, convenience, safety and toilets of the first world. We hopped a quick flight from Rome to Cairo. Out of the frying pan and
into the hot tub. Though the flight was only three hours, we couldn't made a greater leap in lifestyle. We hit the ground with a well-dressed driver holding a placard with Jenny's name on it. We cruised into Rome in a car (no a Mercedes) that had cushy leather seats on roads with lines drawn on them driven by a man who had definitely showered in the last 72 hours. Quite the transition.
We arrived in Italy with the promise of a rendezvous with the Childers clan. We did however have to kill a few days in Rome until they arrived. Jenny's Dad was kind enough to save us the trouble of finding a hostel by booking us a room at the hotel a couple days early where we would await their arrival. I have no means of describing how incredible our alone days were in this hotel room. I can give you an idea by telling you about robe day. We spent a full 24 hours sitting in our amazingly comfortable bed, watching TV in our robes. That's it. No rooms to book, trains to catch, food to hunt down, or foreign barrios to navigate. We've yet to
Beanie Buddies
Jenny was blacked out by this point "a baby, a human baby?" have a more relaxing time on this trip and it came on the back-end of probably our most difficult week we've had. All of this luxury didn't overshadow the most exclusive perk we were awaiting, a visit from Jenny's family (and her brother's lovely girlfriend Sarah thrown in for added excitement). It was a reunion the likes of which only expert criers like Jenny and Joni can muster. When you go for months dodging eye contact with strangers and constantly absorbing the unfamiliar, nothing gives you more of a jolt than a welcome gaze into the known.
We pulled ourselves together and hit Rome hard. In two days we visited the Colosseum, Trevi fountain, the Pantheon, Vatican museum, Sistine Chapel, St. Peter's Basillica, the markets of the Camino Corso, and a number of other things that only Sarah (an art major) could name. All the while we sampled the incredible cuisine (pizza, pasta, GELATO!!) that the combination of our meager bank accounts and a dollar with the strength of a vegan bodybuilder had kept outside of our price range. After our crazy whirlwind ride through Rome, we hopped in a van (massive by Italy standards, still barely capable of
Childers Clan
In one of the ever present moments of indecision housing one American family's bags) and headed north towards Sarteano. Go ahead, find it on a map, i dare you. Sarteano is this adorable little Tuscan town about an hour south of Florence. We tried to do more sightseeing with day trips to Florence, Montepolciano and Mantalchino but (while those were worthwhile) we found that the most fun to be had was just sitting around the villa while eating incredible food, drinking wine, and playing shithead (with our help, that game will conquer the world). Consequently the other couple staying at the villa absolutely hated us because we were being your stereotypical loud Americans and they had stereotypical sticks up their French asses. Sadly, though, our time dwindled down far too rapidly and we were forced to separate. After more tears and 6 months worth of hugs, Jenny and i hopped a train to Florence while the fam headed back to Rome and the eventual flight back to T-town. It's impossible for me to express how grateful we both are for the visit. Not only the lavish pampering we were given, but the loving conversation. Thank you a million times over, it was certainly one of the highlights of our
Getting Creative
I also took one with the tower between my legs, but Jenny said it's not net appropriate trip.
After parting with Ma and Pa, Jenny and I decided to venture into an experiment. We attempted an alone week. After over five months of being in eac hother's presence for 24 hours a day every day, we thought it'd be a fun little test to take a week unto ourselves. Try out the whole "solo" traveler thing. Assert our independence. We wanted to prove to ourselves that we were intelligent, capable people who absolutely could travel without our significant other holding our hand and stroking our hair the whole time telling us "everything's gonna be alright schnookems." This turned out to be disgustingly untrue. When left on my own, it takes maybe 20 minutes before all of the crazy things that go through my head start to build up. When Jenny's around I can verbalize all of the random insanities that pop up there and they'll be purged so the pressure in my head will lessen and i can maintain a facade of sanity. When I'm surrounded by strangers, these things build up. I can't approach a random Frenchman and ask him "If Christmas is Jesus's birthday, how come everyone else gets presents?" I need Jenny around
Strike
There's no translation for Badass to occasionally release my mental spit valve. Jenny on the other hand, like a komodo dragon, lacks the ability to produce her own body heat. She needs me to keep her veins from freezing.
So we split up. I hopped a flight to Paris to meet up with my sister Jenna. Jenny stayed behind in Florence to further explore Tuscany while staying at her good friend from home Stacy's sister Shannon's spare apartment in the tiny town of Barberino. This girl, having never met nor even heard of us, offered up her place to Jenny for as long as we wanted. Her hospitality has been absolutely ridiculous. She and her charming Italian husband Leo have been entertaining and cooking for Jenny (and me when i got back) without the bat of an eye. I can't however speak too much of what occurred during this week in Barbarino as i was not present for most of these events. To try and describe them in my typical dramatic style would be philanderous and I respect you far too much, fair reader, to lie to you. (though when asked Jenny depicts a wonderful week of laziness, Italian MTV, and babysitting Guilio, the
world's most adorable Italian toddler).
I can, on the other hand, offer sparklingly witty commentary to tickle your senses regarding my visit to France. Sooo......I went to France. It was fun. Jenna joined a couple of teachers from school (including my favorite ever Mr. Mullin) and 35 fellow history students for a whirlwind exploration of Paris and southern France during her spring break. It was a very quick and spastic reuniion as i am far too impoverished to pay for the scheduled activities that Jenna was signed up for. This meant squeezing in hours here and there between all of her tours. For me that resulted in an innumerable amount of metro rides as i chased her all over the city. When you go for 5 months without seeing anyone in your family, you couldn't give a shit about the Louvre, so the time was spent just doing the stupid crap that we would normally do at home. Namely that meant ice cream and bowling. Yes, the French bowl. They don't do it with the skill or drunken rage that Americans do, but at least they participate. (If the pins don't fall down by contact with the ball, they
Two Crazy Kids
Trying to stay warm knock them out with viciously smug ridicule and cigarette smoke). Sadly though, my time in Paris was fleeting and Jenna's tour departed for southern France. My attempts to chase after her were an unfortunately expensive failure. (Sadly our goodbye was slightly ruined by the fact that she didn't get my "We'll always have Paris" line. Maybe when she goes to college and takes a film course, she'll understand.) So I hopped an overnight train back to Italy and Jenny's frigid arms.
Next up, back to Rome for more at home style hijinx with Bacara cronie Amber. Followed by Venice, Como and the Cinque Terre. We also found a 0 euro flight to London on the 15th, not a bad deal. Caio, we've got to go spend 20 dollars for lunch. Fucking Euro.
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