It Was a Trip I Will Never Forget

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It was a trip I will never forget. My roommate Will and I decided not to go with the flow and do our own side trip. The rest of the foreigners were to invade Slovenia for a few days. We, on the other hand, were headed to Budapest, Hungary by train.

Buda and Pest, two of the cities across the Danube River united in the late eighteen hundreds. It has a phenomenal architecture in Gothic and Neo-gothic styles. It is home to my favorite Parliament Building, completed in 1904.

We only had a weekend there, so we tried cramming in as much as possible. After an exhausting first day, we got some local stew and went out with some new people we met at our hostel. We’ve already had a few drinks at a local dive bar, saw a live band there, partook in free roasted peanuts that adorned every table, and drank fine beer out of frosted mugs. Patrons were allowed to throw shells on the floor, so the floor was completely covered in them. It was all part of the feng shui of that very fine establishment.

We walked for a while, stopped and bought more beer on our way. A man stopped us in the middle of a wide walking street lined with shops and told us we were invited to his strip club free of charge. We didn’t even have time to think about it when we realized we were following this stranger to some sort of dungeon tittie club called Flashdance Bar (Google that shit, apparently I’m not the only one with a bad experience there).

The corner booth of a basically empty club was ours. We watched the strippers from there. Later on, those strippers were lap dancing on us in exchange for some red wine that came in a grape-shaped glass. We didn’t know how much those drinks cost since they never provided us with a menu. We ordered a round of Heinies and whatever the ladies wanted. After only half an hour or so, we were brought a handwritten receipt with lots of zeros on it.

We didn’t have that kind of money on us, at least I didn’t. And this whole situation seemed a little shady. I tried stalling by telling them that we are not leaving yet and shouldn’t have to be asked to pay. But they wouldn’t budge. My friend handed over a hundred euro bill to cover his share and I asked to use an ATM outside nearby. I told my buddy I wasn’t ready to be ripped off like that just because they were intimidating. Every man for himself. At least I thought I said that. It could’ve all been in my head.

I got escorted to the ATM near a McDonald's but was unable to withdraw any cash due to the incorrect pin number I punched in on purpose. I told the gorilla in a tracksuit I forgot my pin code and needed to talk to my brother to get it. I asked for a cigarette to buy more time and to calm my nerves.

My plan was to break away and run for my life. I knew he would break every bone in my body if he ever caught me. When I told him I couldn’t reach anybody, he offered to visit a twenty-four-hour bank in which I could withdraw cash as long as I had my passport on me, which I didn’t. I told him I was staying in Marriott, which I remembered seeing earlier that day. I told him we needed to go there.

After a walk through medieval alleys and cobblestone streets with a six foot tall Eastern European tittie club bouncer trailing behind me, we finally reached a well-lit lobby of the hotel. As soon as we got there, I felt a certain sense of relief. Sounds of a familiar language being communicated among people there, gave me enough balls to go straight to the vestibule and sit down in one of their comfortable leather sofas.

The bounced was pissed at me at that point and stepped on my foot as hard as he could. He called me a “fucking arrogant American”. I calmly explained I couldn’t take him to my room for the fear of being raped and robbed. I would go alone to get my passport and be right back, I told him.

To my surprise, he agreed. I took off towards the elevator, walking at first, then running to catch an elevator already in a process of closing. And just like that, I was gone. I got off on the fifth floor, where the pool and fitness room were. I turned my coat inside out, so it looked black instead of brown. I went through the gym into the fire escape stairwell. Went down a few floors and saw the bouncer outside of the front doors waiting for me. I went the other way. Frantically navigating the fire escape, I left the building through the back door triggering the fire alarm. Then I ran like my life depended on it. Until I stumbled upon this boat bar docked at the boardwalk. I went in for a drink, to catch my breath and make sure I wasn’t being followed.

Stumbling out of the bar, I tried figuring out which direction was home. In a time without smartphones and GPS, without a map in a new city, the task was not easy. I followed the river and it somehow led me to an area that I recognized and could navigate to find our hostel.

On the way there I heard someone yell my name. It was Will, they roughed him up good when they saw I wasn’t coming back to pay my bill. They spit on him. Demanded more money, but he didn’t have anymore. Then they told him they would call the cops. Go ahead he told them. He told them he didn’t really know me that well, and that we just met. They threw him out of the Flashdance Bar.

He caught up to me and we walked back to our hostel. Happy that we were both okay. Early the next morning I woke up to something wet. I immediately felt my crotch, but it was dry. Piss was dripping from the top bunk. Will pissed on me. Fuck! That asshole was going to pay for this! I jumped out of my bed, yelled something that made no sense and disappeared into the shower. It was much needed. The rest of the night I spent passed out on a couch in our lobby since my mattress was soaked. I unwillingly greeted the new arrivals, who showed up way too early before their room opened up, so they took over my lobby. Needless to say, I could not sleep very well with a bunch of people talking around me.

The next day we went sightseeing some more. We kept on using the subway for free, but it was time to get even. Our last stop was the train station. At the end of the escalator stood a fat woman in a dark blue uniform, notepad, and pen in hand. She demanded that we show her our tickets. We had none. It was hard to argue since she didn’t speak a word of English. She wrote out two fines that we had to pay immediately, cash in hand. We had no other choice. We didn't want to deal with the local police. Karma I thought.

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