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Published: September 26th 2008
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yeah A lot of the positive feedback I've gotten about my travelblog has been about how some of the really stupid things I do are comical. Well, sadists rejoice! you are in for a treat because I may have made my biggest boner to date during this last adventure! Sit back, and enjoy my recounting of a trip that covers all the bases from slap-sticky harr-harrs to creamy sentimental gloop.
I was sitting with a group of international students on the Alte Mainbrücke overlooking the Main. It was Stadtfest Friday, one of two days of a city-wide party involving music and laughter, and I was thinking about my upcoming trip to Berlin. Sometimes people tell you very wise things when you don't even ask, and, most of the time, because you didn't ask, you don't really listen. My Slovenian friend Tommy told me such a thing. "Berlin's got soul," he said. For about 3 seconds, this was the wisest thing I heard all day. After a 3 second pause, Tommy looked away from me, away from the group, off into the distance. Maybe he was watching the Marienburg Festung, the fat cherry to Würzburg's cake, but more likely, his gaze was
directed inward. "I got soul," he said, "but I'm not a souljah." Truf.
The trip sort of came about with very little of my input. My train ticket gave me free reign of the country for another week, and thanks to the goodwill of my friend Larissa and her au pair family, I had a floor to sleep on. I pretty much just had to show up and, oh yeah, tell Larissa when my train would be coming it.
In the end, that proved to hard for me. Subtracting 12 from 13 in the conversion from 24-hour clock time to AM/PM time somehow yielded 12. Someone would have to pay for that lost hour, and it ended up being Larissa, who had to wait in the train station, alone, probably cold, definitely in tears. Sorry...
Despite my ineptitude, we left the station in high spirits. The train station is in a pretty good location, and we walked through the government district where you can see the old Reichstag, embassies, and places of, you know, government stuff. We the oh-so-topical Brandenburg Gate, the Victory Column, and countless beautiful buildings (see figures).
Berlin, as Larissa would tell me, is (as far as European cities go) fairly new and has a very funny air about it. The scent of renewal after the Cold War era dominates. Thickets of cranes peaking out over rooftops, scaffolding vining its way up old building fronts, and webs of construction tape are visible in ever corner of the city, giving it an electric excitement of progress. Still, there is a palpable shadow of old East Berlin, and in some places stand some pretty stark reminders. I'm pretty sure that Berliners do this on purpose, and I think I agree. It's a way of sorting out a very, for lack of a better word, unique history.
Berlin has seen some pretty dark things. Two big ones pop into mind, the Holocaust and the Cold War. It is impossible to visit Berlin without being reminded of both at various times, and it's definitely an intended effect. New monuments and old reminders stand side by side in a city that struggles to balance history with moving forward. One of the first things we visited was a Holocaust memorial. It consisted rows and rows of dark concrete blocks for about 150 square yards in the heart of the city. When I approached it, I didn't quite get the point, but then you walk inside, and the sounds of the city vanish. Everything vanishes. You are in the middle of a city of millions, and completely alone. You can't get farther than a dozen steps into the monument without feeling it. And in the middle of the city, it can't be ignored. Very moving.
Berlin has fun things too. There's an entire museum district that demands to be visited sometime in the future. Night clubs. That night, we took the train in from the suburbs where Larissa's host family lives and, while some may dream big of rave parties and drunken techno electronica punk fusion 72-hour bubble party extravaganzas, we got slightly distracted by a place with wine and, best of all, deserts. The place was a tiny Austrian cafe with funny abstract paintings of the city on the walls. The wine was red and plentiful. The dessert was what can only be described as "huge yeast dumplings" (Larissa 2008). And while Larissa's description will never grace the cover of anything meant to incite appetite, it is really the only description I can offer. I guess I can add that they were warm and delicious and perfect.
On Sunday, we did some more walking and I had my first dönner, a delicious Turkish greasy meaty sandwich that pretty much fills the same niche as a late-night burrito. Then we headed to the train station, checked the departure times, and bid each other farewell.
According to the travel information counter, the train was completely booked, and having a seat would not be guaranteed. A put on my serious traveler face, and waited for the train to pull up. The clock read 3:18, and my train was schedule for 3:20. Over the PA, a German said something in German that I vaguely recognized as "something something Track 13 throat-sound something late." Track 13 was my track. So the travel gods were going to throw me a curve-ball. Not today, travel gods! At 3:24, a train wormed its way into the terminal. Door after door after door sped past me. Which one would be mine? Jump the gun, and I end up chasing after a door, bound by its loyalty to inertia. Excessive prudence, and I'm the last squinty cubling squabbling for mama's pap. Either one would have me sitting in front of the bathroom door, Enschuldigung-ing fat bladders for 3 hours.
I diverted all my mental resources to PREDICT DOOR LOCATION. To appease the gods, I performed a human sacrifice, letting one "Die alte Frau hat weißes Harr" board ahead of me. Balance is all.
Fifteen minutes after the train started moving, I realized that I was on my way to Copenhagen. "Copenhagen," I mused, "is in Denmark. Denmark is north of Germany." This astute geographical observation led me to have a minor panic attack. I was headed to Copenhagen, through Hamburg. I was on the wrong train.
If you ever want to have a really big laugh, go find a map of Germany. Locate Berlin, and put a big star on it. Now find Würzburg, which is in between Frankfurt and Nürnburg. Circle it. Now for the kicker. Find Hamburg. You'd be best advised to disregard to spatial locations of the previous marker, because SURPRISE! Hamburg is at the other end of the country! Hahaha, oh silly Robert!
During the three hour ride-of-shame, my mood alternated between detached amusement at the clearly humorous series of events and total frenzied panic about my uncertain future. The metaphoric meaning of my error was not lost on me. Man finds himself in a strange place, is completely lost, makes efforts to orient himself, has mild success, makes efforts to control his environment, receives SMACKDOWN of poetic-justice-proportions. In the end, what is there to do but take the spoonful of modesty with grace and move on? or a more apposite visual, What is there to do climb the barrel of modesty and keg-stand it until it is dry then fall asleep against the recycling bin in the front yard? It was in every way typical
Homo sapiens, and sort of beautiful.
To give a little bit of closure to the whole thing, I wound up in Würzburg no worse for the wear. My language class ended with a bang this week, and I learned today from Christine that I may have passed it. Here's hoping. Tomorrow, Oktoberfest with the French kids.
In the end, as great as Berlin was, the nicest part of the trip was simply kicking around with Larissa, a fellow Tucsonan. I've been in Germany for about a month now and have made wonderful, fascinating friends from all over the world. We get along very well. The number of things we share always surprises me, and the things that are different are fascinating too. Still, sitting and chatting with someone who's lived in your town, being able to relate to familiar places, people, things, simply sharing a common foundation is something I never expected I would crave during my study abroad. It is a warm and comforting thing. It's chocolate chip cookie warm. It's huge yeast dumpling comforting.
<3,
Robert
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