On the Night Train, Baby

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In the immortal words of Ozzie Osbourne, “Alllll Aboooard.” As we waited in the station, we played out various scenarios in our heads: perhaps another Wilm experience (see post on The University Hostel)? some fellow English-speaking tourists? a young French madamemoiselle for Mike to practice his French on, and a friend for Joe? As we ran through these possibilities, one scenario we had not envisioned slowly came into view as the train entered the station.

Kids. There were lots of them - perhaps hundreds, perhaps thousands - and they were everywhere. The train hadn’t even rolled to a stop yet and one could witness the huddled masses pressing their hands and faces against the windows, like a gaggle of 650 urchins waiting for the candy store to open on Christmas. Fortunately for us (and ‘fortunate’ is a relative term here), we did not share a couchette with the kids themselves, but the terror set in as we realized we were in fact the only couchette without kids. Like a Napoleonic invasion, they surrounded us on all sides - including the passageway outside the cabin.

In an attempt to retreat from the tiny invaders, we proceeded to the cafe/dining car, only to discover the kitchen was closed and the snack bar could not make change. Joe inquired with the cafe attendant as to who to pay, unto which the attendant responded, “Eh, me pay? Nooo, you pay.” Ahh, that New York Italian attitude we know and love.

So, with weapons of determination, we returned to the bunks and gave sleep our best shot. Imagine lying in a coffin suspended by cables - in a room with five other coffins - on board a train winding through the Alps.

Thankfully, the kids’ sugar high wore off around 01h30 and we fell asleep “peacefully” (although ‘peace’ is again relative). Around 02h00, we were suddenly awakened by a knock on the cabin door, and a surprisingly energetic “buon giorno!” from the Italian national police. It seemed that one of the esteemed members of our couchette had “an issue” with his entry into the sovereign nation of Italy. After a heated, but direct 5 min conversation - in multiple languages and with animated gesticulation - the national police “invited” their newfound friend to join them outside the train... as the train then left the station. The grand result of this extraction was that the kids were now awake again and just as playful as ever.

Following a “restful” (again, relative) night’s sleep of 5 - 6 hours, we arrived at Roma Termini ready for la dolce vita.

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