paris, france: vous le vous cu blah blah blah?

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this was the longest drive of the whole trip - 500 miles. man, we began to hate that damn bus. it was so frustrating watching T sound asleep all comfy in her corner while my big mongolian ass was trying to find a comfortable position. i couldn't decide which position was more comfortable: my knees against the chair in front of me, or my body twisted with my torso facing forward and my legs in the aisle. i didn't sleep much. big surprise.

so we stopped in southern france and by this time, T & A were sick of european food. i mean, the food is good, but damn we wanted something different. so we decided to eat at burger king! i was excited to order: "one Royale with Cheese and one Le Big Mac". I giggled. The girl looked back at me and her eyes nearly burned a hole through my face. "This is Burger King, not McDonalds. What do you want." (oops)

ahhh, we finally arrived at our final stop - the City of Lights... and it truly was. people say paris is the most romantic city in the world, and we saw why. we arrived at night and headed straight for the eiffel tower. it was really zzzooo spectaculaire zeeing all ze lights of the eiffel tower. we went up top and looked at the City of Lights lighting up the sky with its... er, lights (rrright).

the next day we woke up kind of sore and sick. it was evident that our trip was wearing on us. but hey, one last day in europe so we hit the streets early. our bus rolled up in the central paris, and T & A crawled off the bus tired and sore. and there we were, hunched over in front of the notre dame (nyuk nyuk... drum, drum, cymbal). that church is awesome! amazing stained glass windows.

then we went to Hotel des Invalides, a huge church-like structure with Napoleon's tomb in the center of it. Man, this guy was such a cocky little bastard. He had his own coffin made for someone as big as Shaq even though he was a tiny little man. Talk about making up for his lack of manliness. I'm surprised he wasn't the one who designed the Eiffel Tower.

next we went to the Louvre Museum, most famous for the Mona Lisa. did you know that if you looked at each piece of art inside the Louvre for 30 seconds, it would take your 2 months (non-stop) to see everything? well guess what, it took us 30 seconds! (to see the Mona lisa that is). You know, we don't know why that crappy painting is so famous. we literally ran through the museum looking for it, and when we finally found it, i wanted to slap a museum worker. that thing is so overrated. oh well, we also managed to see the Venus di Milo and the Winged Victory (Nike) statue.

then we went to the arc de triomphe. another edifice making up for napoleon's lack of manliness. climbed 250 steps to the top of the arc -- damn renaissance french didn't believe in elevators. but nevertheless, awesome views from up top. the arc de triomphe has a circle road around it and 12 major streets in france shoot out from it in artery-like fashion. you can imagine the traffic problems!

last but not least... one of teresa's favorite events in france - we went to the Moulin Rouge! it was an awesome experience. all kinds of freak shows, acrobats, and of course the can can girls. i think after going to the moulin rouge, and also mardi gras (4 weeks ago) i've seen over 9 million boobies. enough to last any man for a lifetime... maybe not.

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