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October 6th 2009

Published: October 11th 2009

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CalmingContradiction

Trebenice, Czech Republic

This is where the car stopped... the hood was up, but it blends in with the sky.

We found ourselves driving out of Prague with an Alternator warning light on and happy dispositions looking forward to the first hotel we actually booked and paid for in advance in Berlin, Germany. Now, remember that the last time we were going to go to Berlin our Car Battery died and we were unable to get a jump in time to make it to both Berlin and Warsaw in a timely fashion and so chose to forego Berlin for the time being. As fate would have it, once again, we would not make it to Berlin, however we did make it to a wonderful little town called Trebenice about an hour north of Prague where a detour on the main highway led us. Now, something that you should know about the Czech Republic, there are numerous road closures and few directions as to which way the detour is meant to go. They simply divert you off the road you are on and let you guess how to get to your chosen destination. Lucky for us the road was a small one and we chose the wrong directions for the detour so few cars happenned in the direction of our untimely breakdown.

Trebenice, Czech Republic

Della hates this picture...

Try not to judge us, but being the particular personalities we are, not many things fazed us to the point of having to truly pay attention to them as the general consensus was shit happens and then you deal with it. We first noticed that something might be wrong (other than the fact that the warning light had come on), when the radio stopped working on the highway. It was disappointing, but the thought was we'll look at it when we stop for petrol. After about half an hour when we had passed the only town we came across on our little detour, the car started bumping and then it too stopped. Della was able to pull the car slightly off the narrow road right before a bridge before it quit rolling entirely. Now, this was something that Della had planned for as she had an orange triangle warning thing in her car as well as bright yellow warning vests, which let me tell you were truly the most fashionable accessories we had worn the entire trip. Della sprung into action and pulled the vests out and made me put one on though I felt ridiculous, but everytime I

Trebenice, Czech Republic

took it off she would remind me that if the police came we would get ticketed. I didn't really feel it all that necessary in this particular predicament to tell her that given the only cars we had really seen were tractors pulling carts of cabbage I highly doubted the police were going to happen by any time soon. After sitting for about half an hour to see if by some miracle the car would start again, we came to the realization that we really were at a dead stop in our wayward adventure.

As the window was down and the car inoperable we decided to gather the valuables and stick the rest in the trunk and make our way back to what we remembered to be a town somewhere back on the road. When we started walking I decided to take the yellow vest off, as it really did scream "I'm an idiot!" Della neglected to do so, so we still stood out like a couple of sore thumbs. After about two miles we came to the turnoff we remembered having seen and started walking into the little town of Trebenice with absolutely no idea what would happen

Trebenice, Czech Republic

The mechanics were looking at me like I was crazy, but I was really bored.

next, as all the signs were written in Czech and everyone we talked to at best smiled and nodded and kept walking, and at worse simply avoided eye contact like an obstinate dog. One boy we spoke to who was probably about 20 answered yes to the question "do you speak english", but when we said "our car is dead" he nodded and laughed. Again with the excellent sign language I was perfecting I made the sign of my throat being slit while pointing at a car, to which he smiled and started walking in the opposite direction as us. We saw the letters A-U-T-O on a random sign with a lot of other letters spelling words we couldn't even pronounce and decided it was as good a lead as any to find a mechanic. Luckily for us, whether the sign was pointing the way to a mechanic or the way to the next town (as I believe it was) there was a mechanic that direction!!!

Ahhh...! We felt that our troubles were over, but how incorrect we were. Upon entering the mechanic shop everyone avoided us (I'd imagine because Della was wearing a Safety Vest.) We finally got

Trebenice, Czech Republic

Our room in the hostel, beautiful view, thought we'd document that we really were there.

an old woman to talk to us, but when we asked if she spoke English she said "no, no..." and walked away. After about ten minutes she came back with a man and we asked him if he spoke English, and he laughed, said "NO!!" and walked away. The lady then pointed out the door and we realized that was the universal sign for go away, but if you happen to find someone who speaks English feel free to come back. So... we left the mechanic and continued walking along asking everyone we saw if they spoke English. We eventually came across a business where the man told us to wait and came back with a woman who spoke about 15 words in English including the words "Only a Little." By either Miracle or Fate they did have a 17 year old daughter who spoke amazing English. The man walked us back to the mechanic and called his daughter who translated over the phone between Della and one of the mechanics, we arranged for him to drive us back to the car and tow us back to town. He used his one English word "moment" before walking away and leaving

Trebenice, Czech Republic

I felt much prettier than I look.

us to sit for about an hour before taking us back to the car and towing us back to town.

Della and I tried to explain to the man that it was the alternator by pointing at the area of the timing belt where we imagined the Alternator to be. Eventually the man said "yes alternator," which made us laugh because it would have been simpler to just say the word as he understood it anyway rather than trying to mime alternator with jabbing finger pointing. By this point school was out and Barbora, the angel of Trebenice, came to the shop to translate some more for us. They didn't really explain a whole lot of what was going on to us, but they did give us a quote, 4000 zlotys, which sounds crazy, but is really only about $200. They then pointed at a car, which we got into, not really knowing where the car was going, but not really having the heart to argue as they had our only means of getting back to Western Europe and drove us to see some woman who jabbered at us in Czech then grabbed a key and ushered us into

Trebenice, Czech Republic

I really want to reiterate how important Della thought the safety vests were.

a building, up some stairs and into the best room we had been in since Della's parents house. Turns out there was a three room hostel by some miracle in this little town, and apparently we were staying there. Bad news was we had absolutely no cash on us as we were planning to be back where Euros worked, so Barbora agreed to go get her Grandpa to drive us to the next town where she believed there was a bank we might be able to get money from. After dropping us off in the town about half an hour drive from where our car was with the promise that they would be back in one hour, we found an ATM, got cash and had some pizza.

As luck would have it Barbora and her Grandfather returned with Grandma! to drive us back to Trebenice and our room for however long the car would take with instructions to show up at the mechanics sometime after lunch. That night we decided to drink Czech Beer and check out the local bars, which were lacking... and filled with old men who just stared with suspicious eyes. So, we had one beer

Trebenice, Czech Republic

Cool building in the town that Barbora and her Grandpa took us.

at the local bar and went back to the room to drink Czech beer alone and play Phase 10 dice. The next morning, though we had absolutely nothing to do, we agreed to have breakfast, which Della was able to get pushed back to 8 though the woman wanted to bring it at 6. Feeling obligated to be up on time, we awoke far earlier than we needed to be to eat breakfast which turned out to be a picnic basked full of the best breakfast we'd had in at least a week. We then got ready and set out on the town to see what it had to offer, which turned out to be a Garnet Museum with beautiful jewelry pieces and postcards, which we decided to send to friends and family so if we never called again at least they would know where our journey ended.

We headed back to our hostel after we reached the edge of town to pack our things and head over to the mechanic to see what the verdict was. Upon arriving at the mechanics we saw that our car was in the same place it had been in before with important

Trebenice, Czech Republic

The ONLY sign in English... anywhere here.

looking parts strewn about the floor... obviously the car was not ready. After sitting down next to the car for a while the mechanic came out and pointed at the house where the man had blown us off yesterday. Without a word spoken we followed him in to what appeared to be a waiting room, and without a word he left us there to wonder what the hell was going on. We sat in this room for about two hours taking pictures of our eyes and staring off into space before we got bored enough to go outside where the car sat in the same place with the same important looking parts strewn about. Not wanting to leave without someone attempting to explain to us what was going on we decided to sit on the sidewalk and people watch. As the town had a population of about 500 people we didn't really see a whole lot of people, however a number of male drivers seemed to drive past us one too many times to make it a coincidence. We sat on the sidewalk for about three hours planning our trip and getting more and more bored when finally the mechanic

Trebenice, Czech Republic

I don't know who it was, but it was cool.

came over to us with a part in his hand and a smile on his face and said "moment." We sat for another hour and the man came back and gestured at Della, walked her into the office and gave her a bill, again, speechless, but glorious!! To the relief, I'm sure of the six or so men working whom we had intruded upon in our whirlwind of Westernness (I can just about guarantee you that I was the only American these people had ever seen, and I'm sure the English don't really think to holiday in Trebenice) we were off back to the hostel to get our bags and pay our bill there.

We decided that it was necessary to buy much more Czech Beer as obviously it was a sign from God, and decided we might as well leave some beer for the mechanics before once again we were off in the direction of Heidelberg, Germany. Though it was unplanned, Trebenice turned out to be one of the most unique places I have ever gone, and both Della and I made a friend in the ordeal. Once again, Barbora if you are reading this, you are an