The Un-Quiet American

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We arrived on Isla Colon thirsty for our first taste of the idyllic white sand beaches and torquoise waters that are associated with the Caribbean. We decided to base ourselves in the laid back Bocas Town, the largest settlement on the Archipelago. Bocas Town had everything we needed, good restaurants and bars, excellent accommodation and good transport links to the rest of the island and also to the surrounding islands. We only had one problem - we had no beach!
The nearest beach, Playa El Istmito was located 2 miles north of the town. I am being very complimentary in calling Playa El Istmito a beach, a sewage pit would be a better description. The only other beaches on the island lay a good hour to the north, so we would have to content ourselves with the sandy roads of the town.
The nightlife in the town more than made up for the lack of a beach. On our first night we decided to head to Mondu Taitu, a popular backpacker hostel churning out cheap beer and good tunes. Myself and Clare sat together close to the bar enjoying a few quiet drinks. When I went for the first of about 40 trips to the toilet, I returned to a familiar scene, Clare getting chatted up by a fellow backpacker. We find this is a very effective way of meeting other people. It can get a bit awkward when I come back and they are kissing though!!
Anyway this particular night the man in question was Tomas from Berlin who was a really nice guy. He sat with us for an hour or so and then invited us to sit at his table. His table consisted of a mix of nationalities, two lads from Holland, three very nice lads form Utah in the States (one of whom asked us how we learned to speak English, knowing that we were from Ireland) and a few other people who I can vaguely remember.
After about an hour a noisy American from New York decided to butt into our conversations. He seemed genuinely intent on offending as many people as possible. He hurled abuse left, right and centre at anyone who would listen. The three lads from Utah got sense and left.
When he found out we were Irish he announced that we have the ugliest women in the world and that our men are gay. Very mature. As the abuse worsened I turned to Clare and said - ´That lad is lucky I am in a good humour and that I bruise like a peach, otherwise I would kick the living shit out of him´.
We left soon after and went home in tears, well I did, Clare acted strong for the both of us.
I woke the next morning to my first hangover of the trip. My head was thumping, my stomach was a bit nauseous and I promised myself that I was off the drink until Thailand. I got out of bed and threw on the first thing I could find. I was in bad need of a Coke and I was getting no sympathy from Clare who was delighted with herself because she didn´t have a hangover. As I moped down to the local supermarket I realised that the clothes I was wearing were truly embarrassing - a bright red polo shirt, plain beige shorts and worst of all runners and white socks. Some of the people I passed looked at me, with my head down, sulking to myself and actually asked me if I had lost my golf ball. I knew at that moment that it was time to bin the outfit.
We spent 6 days in total on the island, and even managed to stay up until 1.30 one night, by far the latest night we have had. We did not see many beaches during this time but the relaxed (and I mean relaxed!!!) atmosphere of Bocas Town made it a very enjoyable few days, bar the hangovers

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Photos

Sunset on Bocas
This picture was taken just after sunset from the balcony of our hotel

Dolphin Bay
I actually snapped about 40 pictures of the dolphins and this is the only respectable photo

Wizard Beach
This is the nearest beach to our hotel, a 5 minute boat ride followed by a half an hour trek.

The Albino
Here is Clare showing off her milk bottle legs

Dark & Mysterious
This is an excellent photo of me as it hides most of my face