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Published: October 16th 2005
Hello people! Im sorry about the severe lack of blogs over the last couple of months, I have been so busy having adventures that i havent had time to write about them. well actually, that isnt all true, ive spent the best part of the last week laying in a hammock and playing cards with my travel buddies. However, everytime i sit down to write a blog i suddenly get writers block. Ive written brief notes about things ive been doing but i havent written anything worth publishing so i intend to work my way back and fill in the blanks so the next few blogs youll receive wont exactly be in chronological order! However after requests for a blog by many of you (especially aunty vic) I thought Id get on and just blog what ive done recently.
So anyway, Im in Nicuragua just now and I only have 4 precious days left before I leave Latin America and head to California. Im so excited about going back to the states and seeing all my friends and having a hot shower and cars with seatbelts and paved streets and nice dogs (not rabid or scabby) and being able to
drink out of the tap. However im really going to miss speaking spanish and just being completely absorbed by a different culture and although it rains everyday Im going to miss the hot weather and my siestas! Im sure as hell gonna miss steak dinners for 1.50gbp and beer for 50p. Believe it or not im really gonna miss all the crappy reaggatone music they play in the clubs here (the stuff that used to make me crazy in Peru) I even tried to buy some in the market today but didnt know the names of any songs! I tried to sing some to the guy on the stall but he just looked downright scared of me!
however sometimes things here will go all wrong and i wonder what it is i think i will be missing! For example, this morning i finally broke free from Granada. I had originally intended to stay for 2 days but ended up staying a week! It was just so comfortable and relaxing (ill blog more about that later) I bid farewell to my travel buddies Lenni and Sandy and headed here to San Juan Del Sur on the Pacific coast. I had a monster hangover (i may have still been drunk) after staying up til the wee hours drinking rum in the hostel and after traipsing across town with my backpack in the blazing sun I arrived at the bus station to be told that the bus to Rivas (the big town where you change buses) had left two minutes ago and there wasnt one for another 4 hours. Taking the later bus would also mean changing buses in Rivas in the dark and then arriving in San Juan in the dark which i wasnt too thrilled about.
Generally when you arrive at a bus station in Nicaragua theres always a bunch of people fighting over you trying to get you to take their bus. So I was stood asking 3 or 4 guys who seemed to work on the buses. however i can never tell which ones actually work on the buses and which ones are beggers. I had an embarassing incident yesterday where i gave an old man 1 cordoba because I thought he was begging and then when he asked for more I gave him a horrified look then realise he was the guy taking the bus fares and I owed him 5 more cordobas! whoopsie! Anyway, I was asking them if there was another way to San Juan and the response went something like this:
me: whens the next bus to Rivas?
toothless guy: theres not one until 3pm
me: really? oh no, thats too late, theres none any earlier?
shoeless guy: yes theres a bus to Rivas at 12pm
Me: really!? theres a bus at 12pm?
shoeless guy: no
me: ok is there another way
shirtless guy: you can take my bus to managua and change there, that
will be much faster (managua is 2 hours in the opposite
direction)
me: no thanks
toothless guy: but theres no more buses to Rivas today
Me: but you just said 2 seconds ago that theres one at 3pm
toothless guy: yes there is
me: arrgghh!
little boy: where are you going?
me: san juan del sur
little boy: this bus goes direct to san juan del sur
me: really? direct?
little boy: yes direct
toothless guy: yes direct to san juan
shoeless guy: its the express bus, much faster
me: but the road goes through Rivas so this bus has to
pass Rivas so this is a Rivas bus then?
shirtless guy: yes it is
little boy: direct to San Juan
lady peeling kumquats: tell the truth boy
little boy: i am
toothless guy: no, hes right this bus is direct
kumquat lady: thats a lie, dont tell the gringo lies
me: so this bus isnt for san juan
little boy: no
shirtless guy: no there isnt one until 3pm
me: aarrgghh!
This conversation lasted about 5 minutes and we went in the same circle about three times. Sometimes I feel like the girl in the film Labyrinth when shes talking to the scottish playing cards and trying to work out which one always lies and which one always tells the truth.
I didnt want to stay another night in Granada so I decided to ask a taxi to chase the bus. The road out of Granada is atricious with hundreds of potholes so I knew the bus would be going super slow and Id done this once before in Bolivia and it worked so i thought itd be worth a shot. So I flagged a taxi and he drove super fast to catch up with the bus. When we reached the first bus stop outside of town he pulled over to ask an old lady at a fruit stall beside the bus stop if the Rivas bus had passed. she said no, its on its way so I thanked the taxi driver and hopped out. However, the second he´d driven away the conversation with the people at the bus stop went something like this:
fruit lady: the rivas bus is coming soon
old man: where are you going
me: rivas
old man: theres no bus to rivas
me: but she just said it was coming soon
fruit lady: no, not til 3pm
me: bloody hell!
stern lady: no, it will pass here in 3 minutes
(they all snigger and talk amongst themselves)
little boy: (who could speak english) what bus you want
me: rivas
little boy: oh no theres no rivas bus
fruit lady: no its broken
me: aarrgghh!
little boy: they might fix it
(they all snigger and talk amongst themselves)
me: are there any others
old man: yes in ten minutes
fruit lady: yes thats right
me: and its going to rivas
old man: yes
fruit lady: no
stern lady: theres not another rivas bus
me: but you said it will pass in three minutes
stern lady: no, theres one at 12pm
fruit lady: yes 12pm
(they all snigger and talk amongst themselves)
me: (to the little boy) are you waiting for the Rivas bus also
little boy: yes
me: so there is one
little boy: yes
2 minutes later a bus with RIVAS in big letters painted across the windshield comes trundling up the road
little boy: Wow! did you pray for the rivas bus to work?
so anyway, Ive made it to San Juan in one peice. The hostel im staying in is like a surf bums doss house. When I arrived the guy said there was no rooms because he couldnt be bothered making up the beds! I told him Id emailed and made a reservation for a room and surf lessons. so then he was like "oh man! well, if you dont mind waiting ill have to sort a couple of things" I think he was stoned. After showing me my room (basically a shed on the balcony with a corrugated iron roof and gaps in the floorboards that are big enough for Vanessa Feltz to slip through) he gave me the grand tour. The house is pretty cool but obviously maintained by boys. I was told I couldnt use the fridge because it was full of beer for the party tonight and then he asked if i minded if they had a party! After I gave the party my blessing he seemed really pleased and promptly invited me. The house is chock full of surfer dudes who are far too aware of how cool they are and use the term "dude" far too frequently. Ive just left them all watching surf videos at full volume. So the party tonight should be interesting although my head is still a little sore from last night and all the bus confusion this morning. So ill let you know how I get on. Party On Dude!!
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Chris_topher
Chris Hellman
awesome
have fun surfing! You will be able to surf and speak spanish in california. and who is vanessa feltz? ill have to look it up.