Up the Lazy River

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As we drive through the dusty little streets of Lanquin the shuttle driver asked us whether we were on our way to El Retiro, the hostal we were planning on staying at. We smiled and nodded sheepishly knowing what predictable gringos we were.

Dropped at the top of the small hill we made our way towards the thatch-covered roof of the main building. The place was a series of small wood bungalows some with private porches and hammocks everywhere. On our way down the small path we passed horses and roosters that roamed free on the ground. The place overlooked a green river that reminded me of something out of the Crocodile Dundee movies. On the opposite bank cows and sheep grazed. In short, the place was perfect.

We dumped our bags and were shown to one of the small cabins (with a porch and a hammock of course). Very cute, looking right on the river. Since our drive had only taken half the time we were expecting we decided to use the time we had gained very productively...drinking. We had signed ourselves up to take a tour of the Lanquin caves at dusk and needed to keep ourselves occupied till then. At 4h00pm we jumped in the back of a pickup with a local guide and made our way down to the caves. This entire network of underground tunnel is apparently so big that no one has managed to map them all yet. It feels good knowing that there are still places in the world like that. Depths of the ocean or journeys into the earth that mankind, despite all his technology hasn't been able to conquer.

Parts of the cave are lit up and handrails and paths are provided for a limited distance, but you can stray from the path into the dark. We scrambled over slick, mudcovered rocks with direction from our guide to see a massive underwater lake and a huge cavern full of quartz stalactites and stalagmites, some named after the shapes they've come to resemble like the Tiger or the Bearded Man. I love this kind of exploring. You would never find this kind of tour in North America. It would be considered far too dangerous and a definite liability risk in terms of insurance. We've lost all our sense of adventure, won't take responsibility for our own security and it's crippling us. Sometimes the only way to experience something is without any of the luxuries like handrails and pathways. You have to get your hands and but covered in mud and risk twisting your ankle or scraping your elbow to really see the good stuff.

Somewhere around 5h30 we left the cave and sat in front of the mouth waiting for the bats, which were the star attraction of this tour, to come flying out of the mouth of the cave by the hundreds. I don't know if they were just having an off day, or whether the descriptions we had been given were grossly overembellished, but I've seen more bats by lakes in Knowlton and the Laurentians. Kinda disappointing, but the caves were cool and tour was pretty cheap, so all in all a do.

Back to the hotel for what they've termed "family-style" dinner. Lots of hostals down here do this. You sign up for dinner by a certain hour and are either given a set plate or dishes to choose from buffet style. It ends of being a great way to meet the rest of the guests and forces you to come out of your shell of travel companions (very important when it's just the two of you for two and half months!). We finished up with a couple of new drinks at the bar called Quebec Libres. We couldn't belive we'd never heard of a drink that was named after our own province. A Cuba Libre, which is the mixed drink of choice down here, is a rum and coke with lots of lime. It's so named because Castro was drinking one on his balcony when he uttered his famous "Vive el Cuba libre!" Turns out a Quebec is a rum and Canada Dry gingerale with lots of lime, great stuff. We drank more than a couple of these over our stay there.

The following few days were taken up mostly by laziness. Some internet and writing time, a tubing trip down the river through the jungle. The guys who worked at the hostal were coaching a local soccer (futebol) team that was having a tournament on Saturday so we went out to cheer them on with the rest of the village.

Most nights were spent at the bar during happy hour, lingering over dinner and a few more drinks and then turning in early because the roosters in the yard would wake you up bright and early.

The only other thing I distinctly remember about El Retiro (this is kind of weird) are the toilets. The place dubs itself eco-friendly and so has toilets that don't use any water and won't pollute the river. There are two compartments, you pee in the front and poop in the back. When you're done with your masterpiece there's a bucket of limestone powder next to the can that you dump on your little (or big as the case may be) pile. I was amazed at how efficient this was. Ususally you can't help "hole in the ground" latrine style toilets from smelling. These were pretty damn close to stank-free.

On Monday the 14th of March we packed up and headed for Semuc Chempey and a cave tour that would take us up underground waterfalls with nothing but a candle...

More next time.

Much love from the south.

Vanessa

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