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Published: January 31st 2007
With International Staff at Project Manager Induction
Is this the first sighting of a Flatulent Fairy in Costa Rica, or indeed Central America?Our road trip to San Jose was brought about as Julian, our country director, is currently hors de combat following a bodyboarding accident involving a disagreement with the sea bed and some pointy rocks. As a result Julian has sprouted an alarming number of pins sticking out of his right arm and shoulder and is not allowed to travel: therefore if the mountain will not come to brief Mohammed, Mohammed must go to the mountain to be briefed. Mark was a little fragile after our night out and swore blind that it was the effect of the kebabs we had on the way out of Charlie’s. I did warn him about eating the third one…
This was also the chance to complete the in country driver training for Ian (known as Jeremy Clarkson as he’s a big lad and a complete petrol head) so Mark, Ivan, Ross and I strapped ourselves in for the journey. The standard of Costa Rican driving is similar to that documented in my Balkan ramblings, and the roads in an equally parlous state. Some highlights of the Costa Rica highway code include indicating that there’s a breakdown ahead by chopping down a tree and placing
Calling Back to Field Base
...And I'll have a pepperoni double cheese... it in the road (presumably machetes are as important car kit as warning triangles in the UK); indicating seemingly randomly (for example a car indicating left is probably suggesting that you are free to overtake, but sometimes is actually intending to turn left, and will do so just as you overtake); and of course driving by the horn whenever possible. So hazardous are conditions for all but the local or suicidal only specially designated drivers are allowed on the road at all and even they’re banned from driving after dark except in life or death situations. Saying all this the journey was as picturesque as the bus trip from San Jose, and as we were in a pickup truck going in a different direction I got a new perspective of the countryside. In every village en route the locals were coming out of church or playing fiercely competitive games of football. On pitch was next to such a steep slope that there was a great incentive to keep the ball in play - putting it in touch would have meant something like a 1,000-foot climb to retrieve it.
After a pit stop in Cartago for a McDonalds (yes, I
In the Jungle
Taking it easy during the Australia Day quiz. know, but no rice and beans were involved and it’s crucial to take any opportunity to have a meal not involving these staples) we got to Julian’s house and prised a white-faced Ian’s hands from the steering wheel. My part of the meeting flashed by and I was duly authorised to operate the Raleigh bank accounts and ready as possible to take the helm of the financial engine room of Project 07B. I expect this bit was as comprehensible to the others as their conflab about the various techniques that would be used with the young people attending the project was to me. I’ve done some management theory (and practice) in my time but the Raleigh participants are going to be hit with not both barrels but a complete volley, and I had missed all the introductory training weekends for staff where the mysteries of the organisation are revealed to the uninitiated. Were the Staff less grounded people I’d worry this was some kind of cult as after all they do request a fair sum of money from one to take part and then take passports, cash and tickets home for safe keeping on arrival in country. Meeting over we
Bashas
The luxury bedspaces on Jungle Camp. returned to Turrialba with Mark at the wheel doing his driver assessment. Feeling better after the “dodgy kebab” incident Mark got us back just in time to Field Base before dark and before the truck turned into a pumpkin.
The next few days passed as the first - more learning of systems, issuing of cash and finally my first introduction to the bank as an authorised user of the accounts. I was briefly a colones millionaire having drawn more money for the petty cash. Several of us even managed to fit in a daily swim, and combined with our healthy diet and the fact we go dry for 3 months once the participants arrive in early February I hope to be considerably fitter and if not to have lost weight (my trousers are already becoming loose) then to have rearranged the lumps by my return to the UK in late April. The only changes from the norm were the gradual appearance of the Project Managers (PMs) who will lead the Alpha Groups (our name for the project teams who will work on the ground); the increasing quality of evening meals as each pair of duty chefs tried to outdo
Father Ted's Mobile Confessional
The confessional hits the Jungle - unfortunately Brendan didn't give me any stock to sell. the last; and my turn on house cleaning duty which involved the rather unpleasant task of cleaning the lavatories, unpleasant as arrangements for disposal of anything not eaten previously would be familiar to anyone who has spent any time in the Greek Islands. Finally, after eight days in country, the Staff team was quorate and training for the expedition itself rather than support to the expedition began. This started gently with introductions and a reiteration of the rules for the next few months, and of course more synchronised drowning. I also opened the Project bureau de change as concurrent activity and spent a most pleasant afternoon in the sun giving out colones to anyone prepared to accept the exchange rate I am authorised to give. The next session was on use of the High Frequency radios which we will use to communicate with the remote project sites. I assisted in delivering this training but must remember for the future that the intricacies of antennae and propagation are of as much interest (if more use) to everyone else as my finance package. In succession came our first period of Spanish language training, medical emergency briefs and an introduction to Jungle Camp
Fr Ted's Confessional (With Dougal's & Jack's in the Background)
LI Flag to the fore, Foggy tries to ignore that his A-Frame is not self-supporting (note string round tree in the back!) which was due to take place over the weekend. In the meantime Ian and his driver oppo Fraser (known as Ray Mears as he’s a bit of a backwoodsman, although how he practised this in his previous career working on oil rigs as a mechanical engineer is a mystery to me) had spent the last few days cutting bamboo for use in the jungle. We’d been told this was a dirty and exhausting job and this was borne out by each evening’s return of the dynamic duo, fit to drop and covered from head to foot with grime. Each day they added items of protective clothing until on the final day they appeared dressed for an audition for Brokeback Mountain II, complete with cowboy hats, neckerchiefs and rather fetching chaps. Indeed there has been an outbreak of mad hats as time has progressed.
Jungle Camp was an opportunity (or more realistically and offer we couldn’t refuse) to get out into the bush, learn and relearn some techniques to pass on to the Participants, and experience what they will have to put up with for the duration of the Project. It started early (although not as early as Mark would’ve
The River Crossing Site
Why we had to do synchronised drowning. liked as getting us all moving was a little like herding cats) with a hike through the CATIE grounds. Even though we were on our way by about 7:30am it was already hot and humid, and as the crops by the sun-baked paths were so high, really airless. On the way we did sessions on map reading for those of the PMs who were rusty and I was delighted to pinch some sugar cane to chew on as I had been told my Grandfather did as a child while walking to school in Bermuda. Eventually we reached the edge of the jungle and slipped and slithered our way up a very narrow, muddy and steep track to the place that was to be home for the next couple of days. It was at this point that I regretted that I had volunteered to carry the radio and accessories as they brought my pack up to well over 50 pounds which isn’t a lot of fun on a 45+ degree slope in tropical temperatures and humidity with no breeze to speak of. At least there was no rifle, helmet or body armour to worry about, although I did live out my
Expedition 07B Staff
Self in centre, atop rock, in Brokeback Mountain hat. Indiana Jones fantasies by having a dirty great machete strapped to the side of my bergen. Nor did the work cease once we had struggled to the top of the hill like a tropical retreat from Moscow. All the bamboo lovingly cut by Fraser and Ian had to be carried by human chain up self same narrow, muddy and steep track. For those used to garden canes more mature bamboo, especially when cut in bits up to 9 feet long, is a bit of a surprise. In some cases as thick as my upper arm some bits were surprisingly light but others, which had trapped water between the growth joints were very heavy and there was no way of telling which was which until they were passed along. Chris, a midwife and another expedition medic, was challenged to estimate the weight of each and in baby terms what sporting career they would be likely to pursue if born at that weight. Verdict ranged from failed chess player to “sumo wrestling twins”. When this palled a massive game of Chinese whispers kicked off, although some of the results cannot be mentioned in a family publication.
Bamboo moved we set to work building our group camps. After about an hour we then had a guided tour of each to admire each others’ lavatories (a hole in the ground with soil to “flush”), drainage systems for washing up (a hole in the ground with leaves in to filter out the bits from the washing up bowls); sites for radios; and camp beds. The group leaders were highly enthusiastic estate agents as we vied with each other to sell ours as the best camp. Making the camp beds also provided some comedy value. I insisted on making an A-Frame a la Army jungle course (bedecked it with my London Irish flag which caused puzzlement to some of the group as to why I had bothered taking it with me) but while it looked the part, thanks to lack of experience and sub-standard lashing it was a bit rickety so I tied it to a tree hoping no one would notice. Use of this type was vetoed, however, on the grounds that it was a bit heavy on the bamboo. Other types included hammocks (which looked good, but later caused the occupants to be deposited firmly on the ground if they moved during the night, or to sleep folded up like concertinas) and ingeniously linked end-to-end beds which saved on the bamboo no end. The rest of the afternoon was spent enjoying a most welcome fresh lunch brought out from Field Base and further jungle training including how to use machetes without inflicting amputation on oneself or anyone in the vicinity. We then divided into our groups to cook our beanfeast and rice dinner which was nicer than expected but could become a rather boring diet after 3 weeks at a time on projects. In the evening we had a visit from the mobile shop to deliver drinks and stickies and settled down to Bella’s Australia Day trivia quiz. This was a lot of fun, but as very few of us had any knowledge of that august nation and the questions were predominantly about sport it was Ling (another medic) and Lucy’s team who stole the honours, largely as the L’s had not long returned from long periods on medical attachments out there. And so to bed. It was tremendously relaxing to lie in the pitch dark in my basha listening to the sounds of assorted jungle beasts. In fact it was considerably more peaceful than sleeping in the field base bunkroom where the sounds tend more towards snoring and the aroma is most definitely not that of the fresh outdoors (and that’s just the girls’ room, or so they tell me.)
The following morning after a breakfast of porridge and tea we struck camp and set off to hike to the next bit of training in how to cross rivers safely. Again this caused much hilarity as we splashed about trying not to fall in or drag each other over. A quick group photo taken we moved on to the casualty evacuation exercise. As Group Zulu, my team were last to leave and therefore our “incident” occurred the furthest possible away from the rescue vehicle. I think the Zulus were very glad that Lucy was the “casualty” rather than me as part of the exercise, once we had stabilised her notional injury, involved carrying her the best part of a kilometre on an improvised stretcher. The difference between a 5’2” casualty of light weight and one 5’11” and of more weight than I like to admit could have been the difference between our successful completion of the exercise and the need for the teddy bear retrieval and repair kit. Having successfully rescued the “casualty” and received our tea and medals we hiked back to camp. I again regretted taking the radio and to an extent my bravado in keeping my pack on all the way home rather than putting on the Landrover, but at least this contributed to my fitness drive even though my shin-splints, bergen rub and aching back for the next couple of days did not make me feel completely ready to take on the world. Back at Field Base we cleaned and returned kit and had a post-exercise wash-up. Many lessons were learnt but the thing that still puzzles me is why, if before coming they didn’t like lavatories that are holes in the ground; the outdoor lifestyle; an element of risk and danger; and the assorted bugs, beasts and creepy crawlies to be found in the jungle did some of the PMs volunteer for Raleigh in the first place, generally giving up jobs and houses, and paying large sums of money? At least Jungle Camp gave everyone a taste of things to come and the confidence to face them in the future. Admin over we all trooped off for showers and a change of clothes and a trip into town, which coincidentally also marked the eve of my 35th birthday.
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Bren..
non-member comment
I see the kit.....
I see the kit you have is a bit better than the MOD. All quiet at LI at the mo, well apart from going to see the Bible Code Sundays last Friday night (was the Caile the band at the cwe shed) in North London, Lynn, I, Loobs and Eek. Got s faced and lynn and I slepted at me mums in Barnes so we could go to Sunbury on Saturday for Beefys Breakfast! Did not go home till after the two games and was s faced. Did not stop. Sunday down the pub to see more rugby then to a Superbowl party and a surviors breakfes on Monday. Got s faced at that as well.