Mekong Delta

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The day started off early again, with an involuntary wakeup before 6:00 am. Nothing external caused this; I just can’t stay asleep.

Still tired, I got cleaned up and made my way down for breakfast - a fried egg, roll and black coffee. I rarely drink coffee - not because I dislike the taste but because I’m indifferent to it and I hate the rush and collapse it brings later - and didn’t order this one. It was brought to me along with my breakfast so I figured I should at least try it. It was very thick with the consistency of a runny chocolate syrup and a very strong flavor. I actually enjoyed it, which isn’t that surprising since I prefer a stronger coffee like an espresso over the weaker ones. This could hold up to any espresso.

Today’s activity would be heading to the Mekong Delta for a tour of the area. The bus ride out took about two hours with a stop by another Handicapped Handicraft workshop for a bathroom break. Our guide, Long (spelled phonetically since I don’t know the actual spelling) was a real character. While some of the participants used the “happy place”, he had some fun with me, having me pose for a picture with a cardboard cutout of Miss Saigon. The picture turned out very lifelike. If only it was the real girl.

We all boarded a long, narrow, motorized boat and set off along the Mekong to Unicorn Island, a couple kilometers away. On the island, we walked past numerous shops geared towards tourists and arrived at a honey farm. There, Long and one of the locals held a honeycomb with hundreds of live bees on it. Anyone who wanted could stick their finger past the bees and into the honeycomb to get some fresh honey to taste. I couldn’t pass this up and managed to do so, like everyone else that tried, without being stung.

We sat down in groups - mine consisting of a Spaniard and some Russians - to try honey tea, dried local fruits and rice wine. The tea was delicious. The wine tasted like cheap whiskey.

Before we left the honey farm, one of the workers came around with a large python that people could hold. Again, as reluctant as I was, I couldn’t pass this up. He hung heavily around my neck and started to slither up my right side. I was just waiting for his tongue to start tickling my ear.

We left the honey farm and walked across a bamboo bridge through the jungle to get to our next spot where we would do fruit tasting. As we tasted local pineapple, grapefruit, bananas, chico and papaya, a singing group performed local tunes in the background. Long got a hold of a farmer’s hat and a fruit transport device which he had a bunch of us try on. I looked good as a Vietnamese farmer. Perhaps I have found a new profession and could settle down with Miss Saigon.

After the fruit tasting we took a canoe ride through the jungle. I rode with two French Canadians and a guy from France. One of the Canadians ended up having to help with the rowing. He was a sweaty mess when we arrived at the motorized boat.

The boat took us to our next stop - a coconut candy workshop. On our way in we tasted a semi-sweet, sticky, gushy substance which was the coconut candy. Inside we saw the mechanized process of drawing the milk out of old coconuts (which I had done by hand in Bangkok), mixing it with malt syrup and sugar and cutting the hardened substance into squares. Two girls, who I dubbed Lucy and Ethel, were busy wrapping the finished pieces. These two were much better at this job than Lucy and Ethel were in the famous I Love Lucy candy making episode.

At the candy workshop’s souvenir stand - souvenir stands accompany each stop - bottles of rice whiskey with dead snakes in them were for sale. Apparently the snakes are real and are used as a sort of tonic elixir.

We left the candy workshop and caught a horse and carriage to our lunch spot. Long explained the various fish and meats that could be purchased to go with the provided pork, rice and veggies. One was a fish caught in the Mekong called an elephant ear fish. Given that it’s apparently a local specialty, I had to try it. Out came a whole fish, deep fried with some sort of crunchy substance on the outside. The fish would be placed in small rice paper wraps along with greens, white noodles and a chili sauce. It was really tasty - I’m glad I got this.

The tour ended after lunch and I caught the boat and bus back to Saigon. The bus ride back was emptier as about half the people were staying overnight on the Mekong.

Two of the people on the tour got a bit fed up with the amount of tourist stands along the way and told the guide they didn’t expect this to be a shopping trip. They were supposed to stay overnight but ended up cancelling, which Long took to heart and unsubtly let us know in front of everyone. That was a bit awkward, especially for those chastised.

I didn’t find the tour to be a shopping tour although there were many souvenir stands along the way. It appears that the shopping is designed to create sustenance for the locals. The problem is that people see the same items for sale over and over again and feel overwhelmed with what seems like a constant effort to extort money at every turn. Personally, I’d prefer if they just raised prices a bit rather than perhaps expect you to buy items of low utility but I have no problem saying no.

After I got back to the guesthouse, I went out to find a train ticket for tomorrow night. I had consulted an online source for ticket prices and schedules and had all this info at my disposal when I went to a tour agency to book. A ticket to Hue in a soft sleeper, my first choice, was noted online as costing about $36 (720,000 dong). I asked the girl at the agency for the cost of a soft sleeper and she came back with 600,000 dong. This was a bit surprising so I asked that it was for a soft sleeper. Of course not, that would be more. Then why didn’t you tell me the cost of the one I asked you about in the first place? She quoted the soft sleeper at 903,000 dong. I told her that was unreasonable and would expect it, with commission, to be closer to 800,000 dong. She didn’t move her price so I left. I went down the street and found another agency. This guy quoted me 803,000 dong for exactly what I wanted. Sold.

Back at the guesthouse, I relaxed for the first time today. I turned on the TV and saw the start of an episode of Mr. Bean, a show I haven’t seen in years. In this one, Bean was looking to get a haircut. The barber got called away and new customers arrived, mistaking Bean for an assistant. He ended up giving a kid a bowl of soup haircut with a buzz right down the center, chopping off a guy’s ponytail and tearing up another man’s toupee. In the end, the barber came back to irritated customers as Bean escaped wearing a picture of Prince Charles as a mask. I don’t know what it was but I laughed hysterically at this episode. There’s something about dry British humor that send me.


For dinner, I opted for American food - a burger and fries. While I was eating outside, numerous street merchants came by the tables trying to sell everything from sunglasses (at night) to scarves and flowers. I couldn’t help but think of the scene in Mel Brooks’ History of the World Part I (go to the 4:50 mark) where the French street vendors are selling rats and one guy is selling “nothing”.

After dinner I caught a motorbike to the Hotel Majestic where I was planning to meet the sister of a family friend we know from Florida. She’s an Englishwoman who has lived in Saigon for years.

At the hotel, I was looking for the rooftop terrace. I first ended up in the wrong elevator bank, came downstairs and the staff pointed me to the right one after I asked how to find the rooftop terrace. I made my way to what I thought would be the right place - called Mbar - and asked the staff there if anyone was waiting for an American named Ryan. They didn’t have a clue. So I took a lap around and hoped that one of the few patrons would recognize me. The difficulty here is that we had never met and I don’t have a cell phone or blackberry. So I had sent her a picture of me and noted I’d be wearing a green golf shirt. No one recognized me from that description so I took a seat by the corner and had a beer while I waited.

The beer in Saigon in general is very cheap - about 50 cents to a dollar for 12 oz. Here, the prices were much higher - around $5 - with a huge premium for the view and the convenience of the hotel’s seemingly well-off guests. But the view was certainly worth the cost of one beer.

After about 40 minutes, I decided to take one more lap around and head out as I never did come across anyone that recognized me. I later found out that she and her husband had been there at one point but apparently hadn’t seen me. It was no problem on my end as I had a drink with a view. I just hoped she didn’t go out of her way.

Today had a much less serious tone than yesterday. Tomorrow I resume the more serious touring with a trip to the VC tunnels at Cu Chi.

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Photos

Me and Miss Saigon
This cardboard cutout is very realistic.

Boat
Our mode of transportation on the water for the day.

Honeycomb
The bees on the honeycomb where I got honey straight from the source.

Holding a python
"Hiss. Ha ha. Stop hissing in my ear."

Fruit farmer Hursty
I found my next job.

Canoes
My view on my canoe ride through the jungle.

Ethel and Lucy
Wrapping coconut candy pieces.

Elephant ear fish
My lunch - a Mekong Delta specialty.

Saigon at night
My view of Saigon from the Hotel Majestic roof terrace.