Ho Chi Minh to Hanoi: a bout of food poisoning, lying bus companies and some lovely new clothes!

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We had an easy day the day after my parents left us. We just chilled out watching English television in the hotel. We managed to rouse ourselves for long enough to buy an open bus ticket to take us up the Vietnamese coast. It is a flexible ticket that allows us to spend as many nights as we like in any of the towns we have pre-selected.

The next morning we were collected from our hotel by a grumpy little Vietnamese man. The trip to Mui Ne was only a day trip of five or six hours, so we just settled in for the journey.

Mui ne is a sea-side town that is basically made up of one long road that borders the beach. We were let off the bus at the TM Brothers Cafe and Philippe left me minding the luggage and went for a walk to find some accommodation. He returned a few minutes later to pick me up and was looking a bit sheepish. “I found some accommodation, but it's not exactly within our budget...”. We walked up the road a little to the “Hiep Hoa” Bungalow where an abrupt little woman demanded our passport and thirty dollars payment for the first night. In fairness, although the Bungalows were beyond our daily budget, I would probably have chosen them too. They were five steps from the beach and we had air-conditioning, a private bathroom and a little deck to sit out on. I suppose you could say we had to ween ourselves off the high life we were used to in Ho Chi Minh City!

The beach and chilling out is what Mui ne is all about. It is also a great location for kite-surfing, and as we sat on our deck watching some insane English girls try to top up their sunburn, we saw many tourists getting lessons and landing in the surf as their kites got the better of them. We ate breakfast in a little cafe down the street and then chilled out on the beach for the rest of the day.

The next afternoon I knew all was not well in my stomach. I had a faint deja-vu feeling of Machu Picchu. That night my fears were realised when I spent the night crying in the bathroom. I managed to spike a fever of 38.5 and felt like I had been driven over by a steam-roller. Thankfully Philippe was unaffected, so he was able to take care of me. We coughed up the cash to stay another day and I tried to sleep it off. Dr. Google confirmed that I most probably had food poisoning, and the best solution was to monitor me and wait it out. Had we been in Europe I would probably have visited the doctor, but the prospect a) of trying to track down a doctor and b) trying to explain my symptoms, just didn't appeal. Fortunately on day three I was feeling well enough to continue. My diet consisted solely of bread and “the laughing cow” cheese triangles, but at least we were on the road again.

We had chosen to pay a premium to have a sleeper style bus, but Vietnam being Vietnam, we were annoyed when a normal seated bus turned up, an hour late. In fact, we were shoved onto a competitors bus, which didn't even drop us at the expected stop. This meant that our hostel pick-up didn't happen and left us wandering the streets of Nha Trang. We were annoyed about it, and decided to pick a fight about the fact that we didn't get a sleeper bus. Part of the reason I said I felt well enough to travel was because I thought I could sleep on the bus. When it didn't happen, I was in foul humour, and unfortunately for the girl on the TM Brothers sales desk in Nha Trang, I was in no mood to be understanding.

First off we booked our onward travel, and during this transaction the girl spoke very good English. Once we were convinced we had secured a spot on the bus, we asked for a refund on the difference in price between a sleeper and a normal bus from Mui ne to Nha Trang. Amazingly, and instantly, all the girl's English disappeared and she struggled to understand simple words. She began by asking us to sit to one side while she handled a phone-call. Fifteen minutes on the phone later we were still sitting there and she realised that this tactic probably wouldn't work. She found her English again and explained that she was not the manager and could not give refunds. To this we asked to see the manager. “He no here”. In fairness it was late in the evening, but we weren't giving up. Eventually we were guided out the door and pointed towards their main office, and the last sentence as we were walking away was “but it not open until tomorrow”.

Frustrated and lost we asked someone else for directions, and were pleasantly surprised to see that we weren't far from our hotel at all. We pulled on the backpacks and hoofed it. We were welcomed by a lovely woman who was sympathetic to our situation, but pointed out that her husband and daughter were still waiting for us at the regular bus stop! Not our problem I'm afraid, but I made a mental note to leave a tip at the end.

In Nha Trang I still wasn't feeling very well. We basically found the nearest restaurant that served western food and then returned to the hotel. We requested a late check out for the next evening and never really saw more than three streets in Nha Trang. It did strike me however that there were more tourists there than Mui ne. We never did get our refund from the bus company because I wasn't fit to move. Add to that, that the hotel fleeced us on exchange rate (no tip after all!) and we were not happy campers.

After our initial elation at seeing a bunk-bed sleeper bus pull up to the bus stop, we were again irritated when we figured out that everyone had been told to sleep in bed #37 or #40. There were about six tourists on board, and together we worked out a plan whereby we would all take beds of our choosing and say that we were told to sit there. This eventually worked despite the bus conductors repeated attempts to move us into the cramped beds at the back of the bus. We stood our ground and he eventually gave up. In the end he did manage to move one girl to a bed near the front as he needed her bed for someone else. Sadly for him a loud and rather large English girl got on after he had done this and rather than take the tiny bed she was allocated at the back, she promptly appropriated the free bed for herself.

What ensued left me feeling very uncomfortable. In a way I feel for the conductor as he thought he had finally sorted out the seating arrangement. When he came back down the bus and saw the girl there he pointed to her and gestured for her to get up and return to her designated bed. She refused and pointed out that it was ridiculous that she was being crammed into a tiny bed up the back, when this larger bed was free. The conductor didn't have the English to explain it to her, so just kept gesturing and saying “No”. She responded with “Yes, I stay here” and this went on for five or six times. Eventually he shouted “No” at her in a tone that frankly would have elicited a smack in the face from a less patient tourist. She stood her ground and he went back up the bus to seek reinforcements. When they arrived someone explained that the bed was reserved for the second bus driver who needed to sleep there. The English girl again feigned ignorance and refused to move. In the end she was given an ultimatum to either get off the bus (at a random petrol station) or return to the tiny seat at the rear of the bus. She did it, but not without making a huge fuss. Everyone on the bus felt uncomfortable at having witnessed the scene, but no one was willing to give up their seat to move to the tiny one at the back.

You could have cut the atmosphere on the bus with a knife. Add to this the fact that the bus driver had a penchant for jamming on the brakes at every opportunity (thus sending everyone sliding rapidly forward on their beds) and that the general light was flicked on every half hour and the end result is a fairly sleepless night for everyone!

It is because of this that I could have kissed the receptionist at our hotel in Hoi An when, at 7am the next morning, she told us that our room was free and we could move in immediately. The mattress was rock hard, but we were shattered, so it didn't matter. We slept immediately and solidly for about five hours.

That afternoon, remarkably refreshed, we walked around Hoi An to begin our next task. Hoi An is famous for it's reasonably priced tailors. Sadly not all are reputable or even trained tailors, so armed with some photo's of the clothes we wanted made, we checked out a few places that were recommended on trip advisor.

We settled on Toto Tailors on Ba Trieu St. after getting quotes and checking materials in three other stores. Anh was very accommodating and talked us through the materials and different prices for various items. We took the evening to think it over and then returned at eleven the next morning to place our order and be measured. We were asked us to return for our first fitting at 4pm that day.

We spent the day meandering the streets of Hoi An. It is a simple town to negotiate once you have been around it once. We made our way over to the picturesque Japanese covered bridge and crossed the river to the quieter side of town. After a while you grow immune to hearing “Come in, it is free to look” or “Madame, you buy nice shoes/bag/dress/suit etc.” from each and every trader. My personal favourite was when “Buy Something” is whispered at you, as if trying to instruct your subconscious. I can well imagine that many people get carried away buying stuff in Hoi An. It is so cheap when compared to prices in Europe, but you are taking a gamble on the quality of the workmanship and materials used.

On the second afternoon I decided I wanted to get a pair of shoes made. After some negotiation and threatening to walk away, the price came down substantially to approximately twenty euros. So I though why not? I'd pay three times that for a pair of shoes back home without thinking twice. If they were rubbish, well at least I tried.

After checking out a few places, we returned to “90 Shoes” on Tran Hung Road. There was no real difference in price, and I had no recommendations, but I just had a better feel about the place. They had a busy shop each time we passed, so we took this to be a good sign. She drew an outline of my feet on a piece of paper, measured the circumference of my foot and ankle and then led me to the back of the shop to chose the leather. Then she took a 30% deposit and told me to come back with my receipt in 24 hours.

Everything is turned around so quickly in Hoi An, you have to imagine that there is a reduction in quality because of it. This idea was rung out when we returned to Anh in Toto's at four that afternoon and the dress I tried on didn't fit me properly and didn't look much like what I had asked for. Anh herself new this as soon as I put it on and she immediately set about identifying how I wanted it to work. It eventually had to be completely remade.

This made us super critical of every item that we tried on thereafter. We found something wrong with each piece and asked for small alterations to be made. We were told to return at 7pm that evening, and in fairness, when we did, the new dress was nearly perfect and most of the other changes were rectified. Sadly the recent changes caused new little adjustments to be necessary, so we were instructed to return at 3pm the next day.

When we did, almost everything was perfect, but the button holes weren't cut yet. I'm sure Anh thought we were ridiculously fussy, but she calmly asked us to return at six that evening. In the meantime we went to collect my new shoes. I had my fingers crossed as we entered the shop. I have to admit I was quietly impressed with the work. I thought they would be unwearable - mostly because they had been created overnight. There were two small changes I wanted done, so we were told to return in two hours.

We returned to Toto's at the appointed time and were delighted to see that our corrections were made, however the clothes weren't ready to take away as the 'finishing' details (threads hanging etc.) hadn't been done. We went off to find food and pick up my shoes, and by the time we returned everything was ready and we had a bag full of new clothes!

Our next bus journey to Hue was due to begin at 8am the next morning. We boarded the bus at nine o'clock and were not amused to find normal chairs. It is relatively understandable, given that we are approaching the Tet festival in the Vietnamese calendar, so many Vietnamese are trying to get home to their families to celebrate this festival. This means that any old bus that has wheels and an engine are being brought out of retirement to meet demand. Using our tried and tested method of Philippe taking the bags and me hopping on the bus immediately to secure seats, we had good seats for the five hour journey.

The same couldn't be said for everyone on the bus. The seat behind us was broken in a fully reclined position, making it unusable without causing discomfort for the person behind. Customer service being as good as it is in Vietnam, the company weren't interested in a small detail like customer comfort, and so they tried to convince the tall Australian bloke we picked up last to sit in it. He was having none of it, and went pitch for pitch with the conductor who was yelling at him. They were at an impasse and the bus was at a standstill until it was resolved. Finally the girl who was only going to a destination thirty minutes up the road was instructed to sit in the seat, and the Aussie was given her seat. She agreed, and took it in her stride. She told us afterwards that she has been living in Vietnam for six months. This sort of thing is just par for the course!

In Hue we had a tough decision to make. Either we stay and explore Hue for three days and then go to Hanoi to get our flight to India, or we continue onwards immediately to Hanoi, giving us time to get to Ha Long Bay from there. After spending five hours on the bus, we decided that Ha Long was on our must-do list and so we stored our luggage in Camel Travel and spent the afternoon exploring Hue by foot. We managed to find the post office in Hue where we packed up our clothes and shipped them home (costing a whopping fifty euro's!), and then walked to the riverside where we chilled in a park. Hue was an amazingly quiet town in comparison to all the others we've visited.

With five bus hours and another five hours walking under our belt it was a small mercy when a good (albeit curtain-less) sleeper bus pulled up to bring us as far as Hanoi. We secured good beds (bottom level, second row from the back!) and had a surprisingly uneventful, pleasant, 16 hour journey as far as Hanoi!

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