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Published: March 13th 2006
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Ooooooo how lovely art thou Hoi An! A Unesco World Heritage site, Hoi An represents the Vietnam of years gone by. Despite the influx of tourism its original charm remains in tact...not a neon sign in sight! The word quaint was invented with this place in mind.
There is not much to do except wander around Hoi An soaking up the atmosphere. Dilapidated french buildings line pedestrianised areas on which you can sit and while away the hours drinking coffee and eating french cakes from the pattiseries. Just what the doctor ordered. There is a small thriving riverside market where ladies sit in conical hats gossiping on street corners whilst moto's drive past laden with live produce heading to their inevitable slaughter. Vendors sell fruit on every corner and you can always find someone barbequing a meat feast for breakfast on portable grils. The men relax on miniscule stools playing cards or chess....a pastime which seems to repeat itself thoughout Asia. It is absolutley impossible to find a stressed out Vietnemese person in this town - in fact in any part of Asia. Even in the bigger city's like Bangkok the pace of life is much slower. They may
be poor, not own their own houses or even earn any more money than to buy their daily quota of rice but each person you meet has a toothless grin for you.
So, after having walked the 2 tourist streets that make up Hoi An what else do you do....hell... you shop like you have never been shopping before!
I was just recovering from the news that Topshop will now courier outfits to your office for free in central London...Beth and Jo, I am not sure why you thought not to tell me this (my heart was literally pounding with the rush of adrenalin when I heard this from a recently departed Londoner - of the female variety of course (there was a definite consideration to abandon this trip and come home). Anyway, on arrival in Hoi An we are met by tailor shop after tailor shop. This is nothing new..Bangkok is full of them. But it was different here.
It started of as just a suit, a pair of trousers and a winter coat (which is ironic considering I am techically unemployed)...that was until I met tailor number 2...Kim.....yep I am now on
first name terms with my own tailor. It kind of snowballed from here. 2 days and 5 other suits later with 12 co-ordinating shirts, (that was sort of a mistake - I lost count) 2 other winter coats (it may have been 3 but I actually can't remember), some more trousers and other things, we left. Well, at the very least I will look employable. However, not before Andrew got in on the act and bought a leather jacker, a suit, some jeans and about 8 shirts.
It was hilarioius. You get dragged in (kicking and screaming you understand), and they have every catalogue and magazine under the sun from the latest Next Directory to Armani to Cosmopolitan and even Vogue (from a number of countries). That itself was enough to send me into a pant wetting frenzy! Then you literarlly leaf through the pages, find what you like, pick your fabrics and colours, they measure you and 5 hours later you have yourself your new threads. Nothing is out of the question. For anyone who knows me well you may be able to sense a "trip highlight" coming on.
And then there were shoes....oooooh yes.
In Hoi An you can get made to measure shoes aswell. It was heaven...hunderds of pairs of custom made high heels. The higher the better. So with five rather dashing pairs of stilleto's added to the shipping cargo, I dragged myself away. Highly addictive you might agree....Thank God for the peron who invented ships...and Mr Mastercard and Mrs Visa.
They must have made their whole months income thorugh us. Every time they produced something they ask you how about having it in another colour...more shirts, another suit etc etc. As you agree and you can almost see the $ in their eyes. The funny thing is, it is us that is fairing better out of this (this is my logic anyway). These clothes are made to measure and fit exactly. They are finished impeccibly and the best bit is that they retain your measurememnts and any time you see any item of clothing you like ever again, scan them a picture and hay presto it will be shipped for free. No payment until you keep it. Topshop flopshop. This is the best kind of shopping ever, not to mention RIDICULOUSLY CHEAP. And the best thing is that by
the time we get home we will have forgotten all about it and their should be several large boxes waiting.. God...its like the trip which just keeps on giving!
Shallow.......me .....never. To make ourselves feel better we visited the Cham ruins at My Son. On the way we passed through a famous part of Vietnam for Catholics. An apparition of the Virgin Mary appeared here once and thousands of Catholics from all over the world pilgrimage here every year around the end of May. That was pretty interesting. Way better than the ruins. Having seen Angkor Wat, I dont think we will ever be interested in any other ruins. At least not for a good few years. Templed out does not even come close. We have serious traveller fatigue at the moment. Its a case of "oh god, not another world heritage site".
Unfortunately, the adrenalin induced shopping frenzy, amongst a few choice emails and messages has brought a serious pull for home for me. Being away for so long has made me appreciate the mundane things at home which probably drive you crazy every day. Firstly, I miss having at least 1 place I can
call home..I miss lie ins in a familiar (and comfy) bed on weekends. I miss CD UK, Ant n Dec and even football focus - not to mention what the hell is going on in Eastenders at the moment. I miss shopping in Sainsbury's, the queues in Ikea. I miss the M1, driving to wherever I want to go at a speed at which I choose in a seat with adjustable functions whilst listening to music i want to. I miss lieing on the sofa with a full bodied Italian in one hand and some good pasta in the other. I miss reading Heat on a Tuesday and has Churchy released anything recently? Is Will Young still gay? Does Robbie Williams even know I exist yet?
Phew......OK, now that is all of my chest, not much to say other than "Mum, you need to get some bigger wardrobes!" Onwards and upwards.
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