So much bang for your dong

---

Apologies for the title, I just needed to get that joke out my system. I told it to Lauren before I left and she very politely laughed, which was so sweet of her. Actually you don't seem to get as much bang for your dong as we got bang for our Indian rupee, but at any rate things are pretty cheap here.

I know I am a bit wordy sometimes, so you will be happy to know that this will be necessarily short due to a very slow computer and internet connection.

23/12 - Ho Chi Minh City

Still on Aussie time, I woke up at 4:30am and grizzled to Andrew about how hungry I was and how I would definitely absolutely go back to sleep if only he would let me eat breakfast. Of course I didn't want to be lonely at breakfast so could he please eat with me? After one hour of grizzling he got up at 5:30am and we had breakfast in the hotel restaurant. I then announced that it was all a trick and I had no intention of going back to bed and that because it was light outside our day had now begun. Andrew said he knew I wouldn't go back to sleep anyway and accused me of having a genetic inability to sleep in (true). So we set out for the backpacker district of Pham Ngo Lau where we hoped to book a cheap tour to the Cu Chi tunnels and then follow the Lonely Planet walking tour.

The first part went overwhelmingly well, the second part resulted in us being hot, sweat-coated, bothered and lost and ultimately paying a cyclo driver a ridiculously large sum to take us everywhere we wanted to go. (Cyclo = seat for passenger mounted on bike apparatus).

Admittedly I paid him a lot because I liked him and I thought it was ridiculously cute that he carried around a laminated photo of his 2 year old son.

Anyway, first stop we visited the War Remnants Museum - a particularly poignant collection of images and words relating to war crimes against the Vietnamese people.

Next stop was the Ho Chi Minh Museum, housed in a lovely light grey neoclassical building. I was tired of committing information to my meagre brain after the war remnants museum so I mostly amused myself taking photos of the half dozen or so brides and grooms that were having their bridal photos taken there.

Next I asked the cyclo drivers to take us to a cheap French restaurant for lunch. Naturally he delivered us to the most expensive Vietnamese restaurant in town, Mandarine. After being presented with a set Xmas menu for $69 US and then a set-menu menu with nothing under $39, we finally received the a la carte menu and managed to escape paying US $25 for 2 of us (still v. expensive in nam!) The good news is that for that price we received carvings made out of carrots with our meal. Andrew's little carving looked like an angry garden gnome, so really it was clearly worth it.

Cross but nonetheless full, we visted the Notre Dam Church (smaller replica of one in EU), the lovely historic post office, the Jade pagoda (a place of Buddhist worship) and lastly the Reunification Palace.

I loved the Reunifaction Palace. Formerly known as the Independence Palace, it was the headquarters for the former south VN government. In 1975 it was taken over and renamed with the fall of Saigon. Since then, not much has changed in this intriguing building. It was built with the most fashionable items of the 60's and feels a bit like a time capsule.

Finally we had to leave our cyclo drivers because my cyclo driver took me aside and informed me that Andrew was "too big" for the other driver and that the elderly man was struggling to pull/push Andrew around. No shock there, Andrew is too big for everything what with his melon sized head and legs like tree trunks. Sometimes Vietnamese people just stare at his feet as he walks past them.

After a much needed snooze, we enjoyed the Xmas lights as well as the spectacle of the thousands upon thousands of Vietnamese who brought their children to see them. Of course, no one really has cars and so this resulted in the unusual scene of scores of motorcycles with parents and their little babies dressed up as Santa cruising the streets.

24/12 - Visit to Cu Chi Tunnels + Cao Dai temple

7:40am - we met up at Pham Ngo Lau for our pre arranged trip to the above named attractions.

Our tour guide, Slim Jim, was a bit of a character and prided himself on his knowledge of Australian slang, and informed us immediately whenever there was a chance for a "dunny stop".

The Cu Chi tunnels were originally a network of up to about 250kms of tunnels hand-dug by the Viet Cong supporters of the Cu Chi region. The tunnels were absolutely tiny (80cm x 60cm) and the Viet Cong had a very hard life in them. (The Viet Cong were the supporters of the Northern communists and were fighting the south Vietnamese/US troops).

The Cu Chi were remarkably successful in maintaining control over the Cu Chi area with remarkably few resources. Due to Cu Chi's proximity to Saigon this was a bit of a sore spot for the Americans and the US set up a base in Cu Chi. The VC killed many Americans in this area through booby traps and other clever means.

I stood in a B52 crater and that was a bit scary - it was pretty big!

The Cao Dai temple is actually in a far larger complex resembling a city. This complex serves as the headquarters for the Cao Dai religion and is analagous to the Vatican City. Cao Dai incorporates beliefs from Catholicism, Taoism and Buddhism and all major decisions are made by performing sayonces. The interior of the main temple was ornately decorated with symbology from its various influences.

After we arrived back in HCMC we had a great deal of trouble getting a taxi as it was Xmas Eve. Finally 2 locals offered to take us to our hotel on their motorbikes. It was really fun!

25/12 - Mekong Delta Day 1

Up bright and early for our private tour to the Mekong Delta. Stop one was My Tho, an overwhelmingly touristy area involving lots of well-trodden stops at honey farms and coconut candy making stalls and the like.

We had the cutest tour guide ever, Phong, who we just adored, not least for his thick accent that we could barely understand a word of. We also had our own driver, own boat captain and first mate. The boat captain was a broad female of about 50 who predominently seemed to eat complimentary coconut candy and drink complimentary rice wine.

Lunch time ticked around and Phong informed us we would be eating "elephant feet" for lunch. Immediately on my high horse (but only because I love animals, so it was like a good high horse) I said "no Phong, we won't be supporting that."

Poor little crest fallen Phong. Anyhow, we finally made it to the restaurant and we were presented with delicious steaming elephant FISH. Didn't Andrew just find it so hilarious. The whole day whenever I went to look at something Andrew said "no we won't be supporting that" - much to my huge irritation =-)

After our nice fresh spring rolls (including elephant fish) we took a 3hr drive to My Thumb. Okay just kidding, My Tho My Thumb, get it? No we actually went to Can Tho, which we found to be far less touristy and far more interesting than My Tho.

We had a lovely home stay and watched the lady of the house preparing our meals. I was just in awe of how much she achieved with so little. There was a little clay oven not more than 50cm high, with soil and sand and wood to burn. It was placed out of the kitchen due to its smoke. She also had a small stove-top near her sink, and with this she prepared a delicious banquet for 10! What a remarkable achievement.

For dinner we were presented with rice paper along with elephant ear fish, rice noodles, mint, lettuce, cucumber and tomato which you wrap yourself into a spring roll and dip in chilli sauce. We also had fried spring rolls, green beans and tofu with a tomato sauce. It was delicious!

26/12 Floating Markets, Mekong Delta

Up at 5:30am for a cold shower and breakfast of bread rolls and freshly made strawberry jam.

We set out by motorised boat to see the famous floating markets. It is basically a collection of about a hundred boats selling fresh produce. Each boat erects a pole displaying what is for sale there e.g. they hang up a pineapple if they are selling pineapples.

We also visited a family who were making rice noodles, which was a fascinating and labour intensive procedure. Interestingly, nothing goes to waste. The rice husks are used on the fire, and the ash of the fire is used as fertiliser.

Next we visited the Monkey Bridge, so-named because you look like a monkey when you cross its narrow bamboo frame. Andrew went first and was anxious he might fall so loaded me up with his pack. Lucky me went next and got to carry not only my camera bag and my own pack but Andrew's pack too! Andrew thought it was hilarious I had to carry everything over. I also thought it was funny that he was such a sook that he didn't want to carry his own bag, hehe!

We also visited an interesting fruit plantation before setting off on a snoozy 6 hr trip back to HCMC. Andrew and I both fell asleep with our mouths open for a lot of the time. The rest of the time I was wondering things like, if you have twins, do you get double the baby bonus? If I was in a car accident, would I prefer frontal lobe or temporal lobe damage?

We arrived (finally!) at the train station in HCMC and said our goodbyes to Phom and our driver. We tipped them generously for all their efforts - especially not getting us killed on the highway (no easy task).

After waiting in the train station for an hour, they both came back to check on us because they were worried we wouldn't know what to do. How sweet! But really the VN train system is a bit easier to deal with than the Indian system (we thought).

On the train we met 2 lovely Vietnamese people. One of them, Tung, is a 29yo woman who teaches English at university and who has a son named "Roy Keen" after the former Manchester United player. He husband is a mad MU supporter and when RK changed teams, her husband was in a dilemma! If they have another boy the husband wants to name it "Rooney". I asked her why she wasnt wearing her wedding ring and she said she was still too fat after 3 years since she had her baby.

We also met Chanh, a 34 year old air traffic controller, also with good English. He explained why everyone drives motorbikes here - there are excessive taxes on cars such that a $2500 US car in Cambodia would cost between $15 - $20,000 in VN. This is to reduce congestion.

27/12 - train

I woke up at 5am to magnificent rural scenery, with rice paddies everywhere and mountains in the background. Many gravesites were present in the rice paddies.

At 12:42pm we arrived by train into Danang, a city about 1/2 an hour from Hoi An.

Our afternoon at the Hoi An Riverside Resort comprised massages, snoozing and cocktails x lots!

Other notes - major groups of tourists here appear to be Chinese, French and U.S. - interesting the major past occupiers of Vietnam.

Andrew and I love each other so much we often say we are "peas and carrots" - so when we see Vietnamese couples that you can tell love each other we call them pho noodes and bean sprouts!

Finally, Andrew is loving it here because everyone assumes he is on the purse strings and they all automatically want him to sign credit card slips and sign for meals at hotels, etc etc. Actually I am organising all the money and payments and we're using a credit card in my name...but nonetheless Andrew has taken to calling me "his bitch"!!!

---