Home Sweet Hoa's - 3rd - 8th Jun 06

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Quite a few people that we’ve met along the way have said that when we get to Vietnam we should dodge the touristy beaches of Danang and Nha Trang and head straight for China Beach, situated between the two, and stay at Hoa's Place. China Beach is where the American soilders were sent during the war for some R&R and you can see why - 30 k's of lush white sands, beautiful scenery and waves crashing onto the beach - making the swimming all the more fun and offering surfing opportunities at certain times of the year, although sadly not when we were there as Smithers discovered when she rather optimistically took Hoa's body board out for a bash. The beach is totally unspoilt and pretty much desolate until about 4pm when all the locals come down for a swim - pure bliss!
We got a taxi from Danang straight out to China Beach and arrived to a very warm welcome from Hoa - a diminutive Vietnamese man who seems to have a monopoly on all the guest houses on the road leading to the beach (if his 3 rooms are in use, he'll make an arrangement with the neighbouring guesthouses, which is what he did for us) and whose trademark phrases are 'take it easy'and 'we'll work it out tomorrow man'. No sooner than 5 minutes after settling into our rooms the lads decided to go for a swim, whereas we chose to have a relaxing beer on the beach and watch them. Hoa had explained to us that rather than have an evening menu he does a 'family dinner' for a fixed price at 7 every evening. This was a top idea, as not only did you get enough food to feed a small army -the dishes would constantly be replenished until everyone was full - it also meant that we got to meet our fellow travellers - and what a bunch they were! There was Tim (Aussie), Oli (Isle of Mann), Kate and Claire (UK), Jason and Sean (Aussie) and Pete (USA) amongst others. As China Beach is a small, local area, Hoa likes the dining area to be vacated by 10pm to keep the noise to a minimum - so the party generally carries on down on the beach. On our first night Hoa had arranged for a bonfire down there, which was great - such a chilled out vibe sitting on the beach around a fire getting to know new friends. We were also fuelled by the 50p per bottle of rum which Kate and Claire introduced us to, which was fairly potent to say the least - so potent in fact that it had Ross dancing by the fire, slapping his arse, calling himself a naughty boy and making an early retreat to bed - taxi for Sandison!!!
The following day was spent in pure heavenly fashion chilling out on the beach, our only worry being to make sure that we were in the right position to get maximum tannage - tactical sunbathing at its best led by chief sun worshiper Greeny! We spent hours switching between sea and sand before heading back in time for another family dinner. Soon enough, as became tradition very quickly at Hoa's, the cheap and nasty rum was purchased and games master Tim started the drinking games. Firstly with 'Shield and Pagoda'- heads and tails but only with a Vietnamese coin, and then the name game, where you have to name somebody whose first name starts with the first letter of the surname of the person previously mentioned. For some reason Wigg was completely useless at this game and got absolutely annihilated as he was drinking revolting red wine in an effort to avoid the rum. 2 bottles later it was clear he was going to have a very sore head the following day. As we had a long day planned ahead of us, we took it a little easier than the boys and enjoyed the entertainment of watching them get bladdered!
One of the best things to do in this part of Vietnam is to go to Hoi An where there are hundreds of tailors. You can go into these shops, flick through magazines, find something you like, perhaps customise it slightly, choose your material, and have it made to measure, and all for less than you would pay in any of the high street shops at home ... every girls paradise We're sure you'll agree ladies! Sensing this could be a long and painful process, Wigg decided to stay at the beach, but we managed to drag 'Rossy Doll' along, our very own Barbie, so we could pick out some suits etc for him - so much fun! We even turned him into 'Malibu Ross' at one point, dressing him in a cream suit and pink shirt - get in! Somehow we don't think that he had quite anticipated that it would take us a whole day to choose and customise our items - you could see his face drop and his hangover get visibly worse as it took us about an hour in the first shop, choosing and designing a pair of shoes for Becs and some boots for the 2 Jos. By the end of the day we had collectively ordered 2 pairs of boots, 1 pair of shoes, 3 jackets, 2 skirts, 4 tops, 2 dresses, 1 pair of shorts and a pair of trousers - excellent work!
Kate and Claire had been trying to leave Hoa's for 2 days now, but it's not that easy! Dragging yourself away from such a gorgeous place is hard enough, but it's made even harder when you ask Hoa for a train ticket for that afternoon and are told 'Take it easy, we'll work it out tomorrow'! They had eventually managed to get some tickets organised for the day we were in Hoi An, so we were very surprised to see them sitting there when we got back from the shopping extravaganza! Apparently at the train station Kate had a turn much like Whits did in Laos and ended up in the local hospital, being given medication for a calcium deficiency for some reason. When Tim ended up in the same hospital for an apparent allergic reaction the next day he was also given calcium tablets. It seems they may be overstocked on those at Danang Hospital, and will give them away to any unsuspecting Westerner, regardless of their ailments!
That evening was a tense one, as we were all extremely nervous as to how our clothes were going to turn out, and we headed to bed quite early in order to try and abate the angst with sleep. It was fine though, a couple of adjustments had to made here and there, but in the end we were all pretty made up with our purchases, and the 2 Jos even got another pair of trousers made each as Becs had turned out so nicely. Yet another family dinner was had at Hoa's - it's too easy to sit there feeling so at ease, helping yourself to drinks etc, to bother finding anywhere else to eat! We had initially aimed to leave the next day for Jungle Beach or Nha Trang, but upon asking Hoa to sort some tickets out, conveniently enough every mode of transport, train, plane and bus was fully booked. Hey ho, another day at Hoa's - what a shame! So we decided to miss out the touristy beaches of Nha Trang altogether - a good move it seems as everyone else we've spoken to who had been there said it was overrun with tourists and not a patch on China Beach - and to fly down to Saigon the next day. That gave us another day of tanning on the beach - yay! Shame it was so damn hot that the sand burned your feet and it seemed that we would have to spend most of the day in the shade. The thermometer at Hoa's showed 100 degrees in the shade and went off the scale at 120 in the sun. Never one to miss any type of tanning opportunity, Becs suggested we hire some huge rubber rings and sunbathe on them in the sea, thus being able to cool ourseleves down in the water - fabulous! Whilst all bobbing around Whits suddenly heard Smithers yelp and then disappear under a wave having been totally tipped out of her ring! Whits was quite concerned until Smithers surfaced laughing and saying 'that was ace - let's do it again!' So Whits and Smithers spent the rest of the afternoon getting decked by waves! After a great day on the beach, yes you've guessed it, another family dinner was had, but this time we went upmarket and replaced the rank rum with rank vodka! Gamesmaster Tim started the merriment this time with chase the ace and soon enough we were all suitably lashed. 10 o'clock came and it was time to head to the beach. We'd purposely worn our bikinis that night as we wanted to check out the phosphorescence in the sea that we'd heard so much about. Whits and Smithers managed to get down to theirs before going into the water, but no such luck for Greeny who was slam dunked into the drink fully clothed by Oli. He then completely nailed Whits, chucking her into every wave, but it was great fun - like being thrown about in a pool by your Dad when you're a kid ... only we're 25! Sadly there was no phosphorescence to be seen, so we went back to drinking on the beach. Whilst Smithers busied herself burying Tim in the sand and giving him a nice pair of boobs, Whitters chatted to Pete (a very laid back 'hippy' dude from Santa Cruz) for a while. During a break in the conversation Pete turned to Whits and said 'So um, would you like to come back to bed with me - that'd be like, pretty awesome'- now voted amongst everyone as the best pick up line ever! A stunned Whits responded with 'You're alright thanks, I think I'll go for another swim actually'! Upon hearing this story the following day Tim and Oli went immediately to Pete to congratulate him on his legendary status for having uttered those words, to which his response was 'Hey man, I just can't be doing with all the messing around' - well you certainly were straight to the point dude!
There were heavy heads all round that day and a very subdued morning was spent on the beach feeling sorry for ourselves, both because of the hangovers, and also we didn't want to leave this amazing place. We'd spent 5 days in stunning surroundings, with great company, in the brilliant Hoa's place where Hoa just wants you to feel at home, and would bend over backwards to make sure you did - what a legend! Why on earth would you want to leave?! It was a bit like being on holiday and having to go back to the real world now of getting cultured (sorry to everyone back home reading this at work - guess you won't appreciate that!) Anyway, we had a final meal at Hoa's where he insisted that everyone have one last glass of beer together before we left - fantastic for the hangover that! So after forcing the beer down - it would've been rude not to - the 5 of us got into our taxi bound for the airport being waved off by the lucky sods who were staying there!
Checking Out ...

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Photos

China Beach
A boat on the deserted beach

China Beach
Chillin on the beach

I've got this game ....
Bulk and Wigg get stuck into the drinking games

Relaxing at Hoas
Clockwise L-R: Wigg, Hoa, Oli, Pete, Jason, Sean, Me and Smithers

Another happy night at Hoa's
Clockwise : Me, Bulk, Pete, Oli, Wigg, Tim and Jo