Vietnam - The Rascal diaries part 1

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Mully and I were set and on the way to Vietnam and it was only another 6 hour bus journey, with a bus driver who was driving as if he was possessed by the devil. Just before we crossed the border we stopped at a small restaurant for people to get some food. I busied myself with finding the nearest bathroom and Mully stayed on the bus only to witness a charming american fellow get on in a bit of a huff, following what sounded like smashing of plates. He sat down and a young Cambodian waitress came on and offered the man her apologies which he was having none of and started yelling at the girl to "get the fuck away from me" and so on until she left the bus. Not much more was thought about it and the bus started and we hit the customs desk at the border. This was the most inefficient process known to man as our bus attendant took everyone's passport off them and then one by one our names were called out to say that we'd been cleared and could get back on the bus. This caused a couple of slight problems, one being that saying irish names like Ciaran Mullan and Conor Brolly is quite difficult for vietnamese people and it's pretty difficult to understand from an irish perspective as well. Anyways the process was over soon enough and we started on the last leg of the journey to Saigon.

We arrived into Saigon, having travelled through spectacular mountainous landscape and winding roads. First board of call off the bus was grub and so we headed to a pizza place across the street. As we sat down the American who'd such a hard time on the bus came in and sat down where again he was served by a young Vietnamese girl who left him and brought him back a beer. This was a mistake. "What the fuck is that...I did not order a fucking beer...get it the fuck away from me" and so on. He then got up and stormed out leaving the waitress standing shocked and both me and Mully thinking what a cock.

We left and checked into a nearby hostel that had air conditioning which was the first place we'd stayed with air conditioning in a while. It was amazing. We set about checking out a route through vietnam so we could make the most of the time we had and went looking for inspiration and ended up at a small travel agents where a woman who spoke very good english (apart from when she said that you go to Mui Ne for suffering) advised us on a tour which involved a hop on hop off bus which took us on sleeper buses north finishing in Hanoi. It meant beginning in Saigon and then the following night making our way to a town called Dalat. So that left us with the rest of the night and next day to see the city and surrounding attractions. We took a dander that night only to be shocked at the traffic in the city, crossing the road was like cheating death as mopeds, motorbikes and cars avoid you rather than the conventional other way around.

The next morning we got up early and made our way on a half day tour of the cu chi tunnels which were used by the vietcong during the war. Our tour guide, the slightly racist and quite homophobic ("in Vietnam we call the gay a three dolla bill because they are bent"), Joey took us round the site were there was a network of tunnels that ranged up to 250 km long. We were shown a tunnel that was nearly too small for me to fit down and told to crawl right then left and you would make it out but to watch out for the bats. I thought Joey was taking the piss but with only the light from the flash on my camera (this explains why a lot of my pictures are shite) sure enough there were bats. We were taken round more of the tunnels and it was strange to hear things being said like the American pigs, and the enemy referring to the Americans, and the brave Vietnamese heroes from videos and Joey. This was finished up by a tour of the rifle range where once again we were able to fire machine guns at targets. Mully was in his element. After a final tunnel we were fed lunch and then we headed back to the city. We got sorted and took a walk round and waited for the bus to take us to Dalat.

That evening we got on what we assumed would be a night bus and headed onwards, however the bus arrived into Dalat at 3 that morning and we were left stranded with no hotel and in the middle of a town we hadn't a clue where we were...oh and it was freezing. Couldn't believe it, the taxi driver was wear gloves and a coat with a beanie hat on whereas I was in a vest shorts and flip flops which he thought was hilarious. We were taken by this random guy to a hotel and we checked in for the night. We got up the next day and haggled a better price for the room and headed out to tour the town. Came across a market selling all sorts of wonderful food such as frog, maggots, eels, crabs just the usual stuff you find in tescos so we quickly left. We then decided that the only way to see the surrounding area without being ripped off was...yes you've guessed it...Rascal time!

We hopped on to a couple of rascals and headed out of the town about 7 to 10 km to a couple of waterfalls, got our pics and headed back up the road to see if we could find any other attractions. It had started to get dark at this stage and the traffic had increased ten fold and thinking we knew our way round the town we headed back towards the hotel...or so we thought. Little did we realise that neither of us had a clue where we were and began an endless circle of the town trying to find somewhere we recognised. Which worked because we both recognised places just for the wrong reasons and it took us further away from the hotel. Eventually Mully said he knew the way and as blind luck would have it we made it back, even though i had tried to convince home it was that way about half an hour previous to that. We stopped in to leave the rascals back and called it a night after a lengthy internet blogging.

The following morning we were up at 6 to get the bus to Mui Ne. Again the bus driver was addicted to speed and we hung on for dear life as we travelled round mountainous roads with awe inspiring views. As we arrived into Mui Ne it was clear that the only sights we were going to see would be done so by Rascal. No tours, just rascal-ing it around the place. Mui Ne is a small beach town famous in Vietnam for it's Kite and wind "suffering" and so, following one of the town's infamous mellow burger, we headed out in search of it's famous fairy stream. We travelled up a half hour walk to the end where we were greeted by...another waterfall. All those times in thailand we were desperate for one and we were now overdosing on them. After being raped for leaving our bikes in the shade (5000 dong) we set off again towards the red canyon and the yellow sand dunes. Meant to be awesome for sunset we were shafted by the cloud in the sky and so after a few pictures in sunset mode we headed back to the hotel. The next day we got up and took the rascals on a whole new adventure travelling on a round trip to the white sand dunes and the next town, approx 100 kms in total. On the way home, while travelling at a bit of speed i murdered a chicken that ran out in front of me, nearly knocked me off my bike while Mully laughed and saw the after affect. Worse still it was getting darker and at the top of the town we witnessed the aftermath of a crash where the police had drawn a chalk outline on the ground...of the bike not the person who came off it.

Back at the hotel and a quick mellow burger with enough mash potato to build the great wall of china and we set about waiting for our bus which was to arrive at 1.30am. At 9 pm I started into a delicious bottle of Vietnamese vodka and was then joined by Daniel, a german guy who sat down to talk as his girlfriend was sick in bed. As the night went on Mully on the Saigon beers and me making a stab at this paint thinner it got closer to 1.30...then it past 1.30 and 2. Daniel was trailed into the room by a furious girlfriend who was under the impression that he was only going out for 5 minutes and 4 hours later still hadn't returned. I taught the guy from reception in the hotel how to play Save tonite and still the bus didn't appear. Mully had by this time made himself comfortable in an awesome hammock and following suit I lay down in another, not so comfortable one and next thing I realised was that it was 6.30 am and no bus arrived and I had been eaten alive by mosseys. Awesome - though it was a free night's accommodation so can't complain.

So we went for breakfast and to complain at the bus companies shop only to be told that we would get one today instead, so as I type now it is 10.15 am and at 1 p.m. we are leaving to go to Nha Trang...hopefully but who knows

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