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Published: June 28th 2008
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Cyclos in Hoi An
Usually you find the cyclo drivers asleep in their bikes. When the tourist buses arrive these guys jump into action. We have been away from home now for six months, we have been on many adventures, had many lazy days and have established a few relationships. While the trip so far has been well worth all of the struggles and challenges we have overcome, some of the biggest lessons we have learned are about the relationships we left behind. Now that our vacation from our vacation return to Canada is imminent, and we often talk of the things we are looking forward to, the true value of our friends and family has been revealed to us.
For most at home things have continued on within their normal parameters. There may be times where you think, “This is where Krysta would say something nice,” or, “This is where Smitty would stick his foot in his mouth,” but otherwise you are going to the same places, doing the same things with the same people. Life goes on. While this may seem boring and repetitive, I am here to suggest that you are in fact the lucky ones in many respects.
As a person travels around, he meets people (both locals and other travelers) and they begin to feel each other out,
Sweet Ride
This is a vintage model of the Honda "Super Cub", the biggest selling motor vehicle in history. They are everywhere here, of every vintage. Even the bike we drive is its direct descendant. “Is this someone I want to spend my free time with?” Sadly, finding someone who is compatible is an extremely rare achievement. We made a few friends that we had heaps of fun with during our CELTA in Saigon, but they stayed there, and we moved to Danang. So we arrived here fresh, ready and expecting new relationships.
Thankfully, we have had a few successes. The Academic Manager (Lily) at our school is an Australian woman married to a Vietnamese man. We share many common interests and experiences at school and as travelers, and Tuan (Mr. Lily) speaks English as well as any local we have met. We have been able to learn much about Vietnam, share some funny stories, reading material and music. They have made life for us a lot more comfortable, and in some respects they have made our stay here possible.
In other aspects, we have not been able to achieve what we wanted. We have had a few coffees and meals with some of our students and other Vietnamese we have met. While this has given us the opportunity to see some new restaurants and provide a deeper insight into customs and habits,
At Bach Ma
A small stream at a national park. A group of girls were sliding down on banana leafs. It looked pretty fun, but we had no swimsuits. experiencing the give-and-take we have with the people we know at home has proved impossible. The cultural and language barriers are too much to overcome in a way that allows us to truly get to know each other.
Another challenge is that many of the ex-pats we meet see us as temporary friends. While not much of an issue for us as “newbies” on the long-term-away-from-home kick, the more experienced foreign residents seems to divide the people they meet into two groups, those who will stay, and those who will leave. "Those who will stay" are worthy of a venture into friendship, "those who will leave" are good for a night out, or some nice small talk, but in most situations are not worth risking any attachment. It makes sense for them not to be willing to put too much into relationships that will most likely be over in 8 months, even if they do beat the odds and find people they might want to hang out with. Kind of a pessimistic outlook, but now that we have been on the road for a while, it seems reasonable. There are a lot of wierdos out there.
A portion
Sea of People
There is a lot of walking in Vietnam. This is during the International Fireworks Competition in Da Nang. It was madness. of our free time is spent talking about what we miss from home. While the conversations do include “things to do and eat”, the most common topics are about funny stories or circumstances we experienced with our friends and family at home. For example: Grey Cup chili cook-offs, dinner at Mom’s, late night poker events, funny sayings, parties at Shaun’s and Herbie’s, everybody’s kids, Craig’s rants, Sundays with 6 laptops at Dave’s, and stumbles home from the Palomino. Obviously, any mention of golf makes me cry a little.
Jeez, Marc, make your point already.
OK, the point. Of all the things we are without here in Vietnam, from fun to food, English to entertainment, the things we miss the most (by far) are our friends and family. We often dream of the situation where we could be sharing what we are doing with all of you; ”Wouldn’t it be awesome if everybody was here with us?!” Seeing the same things, meeting the same people, eating the same food and sitting on the same beaches. Places where you can be yourself, with people who get your jokes and know your history, people who look out for you and help
Versitility
This jacked-up rototiller is commonly found in he countryside. It is essentially a diesel engine with handles for steering, attachments for powering other machines and a hitch for towing. It is sometimes seen pulling tailer-loads of people on the highway at 10 kph. This one is attached to a coffee-bean cleaner-offer. you when you need it are, in our newly formed humble opinion, the most important things in our lives. So, for those we will see beginning in just over a week; expect a lot of hugs, requests for stories and invitations to do things together. This is because we think that you are the coolest people in the world (Canada and Vietnam, anyway), and we can’t wait to get home.
"Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth.
For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures,
and talk but a tinkling cymbal,
where there is no love."
- Francis Bacon
Later,
The Smiths
P.S. - Included are some "Getting Around in Vietnam" photos
PP.S. - Special congratulations to the Verhoeff Family on the arrival of their new son Keaton. He is a very handsome young man.
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Momma Smith
non-member comment
wow
Great pix - and wonderful insight . So very excited to see you both