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Wednesday 4th May
Early arrival into Hanoi where we were bombarded with taxi requests and not having the brain power at 4.30am to convert Dong to Dollars to Pounds we jumped in a metred taxi and promptly got ripped off with a 230 000 fee. Knowing that he'd driven us 25 mins out of town we said we'd only pay the 200 000 and then he promptly grabbed Michelle. I marched over and stood in his space and said "Do NOT do that, I am a lot bigger than you and I'll sit on you" - to which Michelle laughed and he obviously was a little nervous that I might actually sit on him with my rucksack and back pack on because he replied with "F*ck YOU!"
Still....it worked!
After a quick snooze we went for a walk around the streets of Hanoi...I think it's great because it has cello-tape street, paint street, shoe street, nappy street, t-shirt street, art street, silk street etc and all with thousands of mopeds whizzing around to which I LOVE! You just walk out confidently and trust that they will miss you. Michelle gets a little scared and runs across which completely throws them off
track...but I find it very funny!
On hat street we haggled and managed to get two Vietnamese hats for 60 000 VND after the owner declared his love for me and asked me to have his babies. I said I wasn't in the market for a baby but one of his hats would be a treat....
Thursday 5th May - YMCA in Halong Bay
Up super early to jump on the bus to Halong Bay. It took four hours with a pit stop at a tourist shop and then we jumped on a boat with our tour guide "Jimmy," who is probably the youngest person I've ever met with a full comb over.....and I LIKED IT!!! Only a comb over on Jimmy though...every other man should shave his head.
We enjoyed a squid and tofu lunch whilst sailing around Halong Bay. The food was amazing, except for the Tofu - which no matter how it's cooked tastes like wet sponge :-/ and then relaxed on the way to "Amazing Cave" having all the boat ladies come up to the boat to sell snacks and drinks....it's phenomenal how they row standing up!!!
As we walked around the Amazing Cave,
Jimmy pointed out all sorts of shapes; cauliflower, mushroom, bear, dragon, buddha etc....not one looked like what he thought and we're almost positive all the guides got together one day and said "Right...what can we say these rocks look like?!"
As we laughed and explained to Jimmy that we didn't think they looked like what he was describing he then picked out a shape and claimed to me "I know you know what shape that looks like..."
CHEEKY JIMMY! We then had the opportunity to go kayaking around the bay which was wonderfully relaxing until we nearly got reversed over by a big boat...all the tourists on board were laughing their heads off but Michelle and I were panicking as both are shite at directing the kayak.
Safely back on the big boat we had another seafood dinner and then were treated to some delightful Vietnamese Karaoke. It was sooooo bad, but so very very cute. Jimmy tried come what may to get me up to sing...but I refused....I hate karaoke and genuinely wish it was band. As a compromise he put on The Village People's most famous track, another horrendous song, but there I was in Halong Bay
Lady selling goods
Rowing standing up?! singing my heart out to YMCA. Who would have thought!!!
A few drinks later including massive shots of tequilla it appeared that a rule change had occured in a card game to incorporate the karaoke and some how after selecting card 9 I was shoved up front with a microphone in my hand ready to sing Christina Aguilera's "Dirrrty" before I could say tone deaf.
OH.MY.GOD. It is not good. Michelle has a video as evidence of the first and last time I will participate in dire dire karaoke. Fortunately I have a Spice Girls "2 become 1" rendition from Michelle. Thank God!! 😱
Apparently my singing skills had won over the crew as Jimmy came up to me and said "Xkissa me (excuse me) miss Amy, I have a secret just for you, the crew think you are very pretty, you have a beautiful face." I blushed. Then he said "It's very white." Oh this pasty skin does get the boys!
Friday 6th May
After a squid breakfast we were transferred over to Catba Island and dropped at the bottom of a mountain. Our information pamphlet said "afternoon walk" but it was actually a hike up a
mud slide...and having left our walking boots in Hanoi we had to trek on in flip flops. Now as soon as we started I was literally saying to another girl that Michelle was going to have trouble staying upright as she falls over rather easily anyway, on average once a day, when she stacked it and covered herself in mud.
We had sticks as it was so steep but this do not help Michelle stay upright and she became more sticky and kept sinking into the mud. Our guide came over and promptly whipped off her flip flops wiped them down with leaves, hid them behind a bush and took off his trainers and put them on her feet. Michelle was mortified as he'd have to walk bare foot but he wasn't having any of it and then succumbed to wearing his trainers as she wouldn't have been able to carry on. What a gentleman!
The hike upwards continued for another hour or so and it became so staggeringly tough you were literally on your knees and gripping with your finger tips. Good job the view over the island was worth it.
The hike back down was 10 times as
In the cave
What does it look like?! tricky! I stacked it and also had the pleasure of the guide cleaning my flip flops and feet with leaves. He was a true gentleman and made the hike fun and entertaining.
In the evening we had more seafood and then got to see all the lit up floating restaurants before the heavens opened and then it was time for bed!
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